The woman on the far right?

Is Cheri Oteri.

Yeah. That Cheri Oteri.

So weird.

At a GQ party for Brett Ratner’s “Visions of Hollywood.” Pete Wentz hosted.

Jessica Simpson might be returning to a market with less competition her Texas roots, according to her father. She’s apparently considering recording a country album.

“Everything in our business is about beats and I think she really wants to sing and country music still believes in that. I think country is the only pure, storytelling kind of genre left,” says Papa Joe.

He makes no mention of Ashlee Simpson embracing this pure, storytelling genre, because, you know, Ashlee don’t sing that well.

In truth, I can’t think of a relationship I care less about right now.

But for those of you who do care, they were spotted on yet another NYC date.

The pair, who were first spotted out together in the city last week, were “all over each other” and “super flirty” at the Bowery Hotel Friday night, an onlooker tells PEOPLE.

Mayer, 29, and Diaz, 34, who sat together on a couch in the back of the patio, “were laughing and talking a lot” as the waitress brought several rounds of drinks, says the source.

Last Tuesday, the pair were spotted having dessert at the French-Vietnamese restaurant Indochine. “It looked like a casual date,” said a source. “She was giggly. She was laughing and seemed happy.”

Asked if the newly-close pair are dating, a source close to Mayer tells PEOPLE, “Yes, it’s definitely true.”

This must be a really weird week for Jessica Simpson. I mean, the naked pictures of Vanessa “Bush” Minnillo hit the web on Friday, so that must have been pretty vindicating for her. But now her ex-boyfriend is running around town with Cameron Diaz, so that kind of sucks. And why do I spend so much time thinking about what Jessica Simpson must feel about everything? What is wrong with me?

Honestly, politicians know about none of the important things going on in the world. The Examiner did a cute little “what you don’t know about Dick Cheney” piece on Monday, and it included this little tidbit:

He once confused Jessica Simpson with Jessica Lynch … [W]hen the vice president threw out the first pitch before a 2003 game between the Cincinnati Reds and Chicago Cubs, Cheney was first informed that “Nick Lachey — a native of Cincinnati — would sing the national anthem before the game and would be accompanied by his girlfriend, Jessica Simpson. Cheney thought Simpson’s name sounded familiar. He asked his staff: ‘Is that the soldier who was captured in Iraq?’” (That would be Jessica Lynch).

This totally explains why they never let her dance in her music videos.

This is Dennis Rodman and a famewhore on the red carpet at the after party of Jessica Simpson’s new swimsuit line debut.

It’s a well-known mantra in the fashion world: if you can’t get Anna Wintour there, get Dennis Rodman.

What does he even do these days? Does he still play basketball? Is this really the level to which he must stoop in order to get anyone to write anything about him? Sad, Mr. Rodman. Very sad.

Also, is that a tranny?

I am notoriously horrible at picking out fake breasts. I can tell in the case of someone like Kendra, because those monsters defy all the laws of physics, but in the case of Jessica Simpson… I don’t know. Are they real? Are they fake? I’d guess real, the photo here is older, but it’s the most boobalicious shot I could find.

Simpson tells fashion designer pal Michael Kors, who writes about her in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar, on newsstands July 24… “my boobs are real.”

Ok, fair enough. That’s not really the fun part though… here’s the fun part.

As for whether she prefers singing or acting, Simpson says, “In my music career, there have been moments of failure, and with acting, I haven’t had that yet. But music is opening up my heart and every emotion inside of me.”

Um… What?? She hasn’t had acting failures? Who amongst us has seen Employee of the Month? Who thought, regarding The Dukes of Hazzard, “Wow, this is something special.” The answers are: No one. And no one. She truly hasn’t had anything even resembling success yet in her acting career. If we defined success as “the planet Mars” the you’d have to say her career so far has been “shitty.” Hmm, that may be a poor analogy. But you get the idea – which is basically “does not compute.”

Perhaps she’s crazy. Or maybe her Ex hitting it from the back with that Vanessa chick in a hot tub got to her. Whatever the case I hope that interviewer did a 70’s style spit take when she said that.

Also, her sister got an entirely new face.

PS- If you missed me during my sabbatical I apologize. I went out into the celebrity forest and found out what was truly important to me: and that was being a real class A jerk-off.