Archive for the ‘Jessica Biel’ Category
Jessica Biel Pulls a Britney
Thursday, October 25th, 2007I guess all of Justin Timberlake’s girls are prone to this shit.
Yup, Jessica used an umbrella to shield herself from the paparazzi as she entered her yoga class in Santa Monica.
I guess one of the paparazzi got in her way, so she jabbed him with the umbrella.
Meanwhile, Britney’s somewhere celebrating the fact that “pulled a Britney” has meanings other than “showed the world your vagina.”
I Guess They’re Still Together
Thursday, October 4th, 2007Jessica Biel’s Gonna Get Naked for You
Thursday, August 16th, 2007It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!
Jessica Biel is now contractually obligated to get naked on camera.
SHE’S been shy about bearing her bod every since her racy Gear magazine spread hit stands in 2000, but Jessica Biel plans to shed her threads in the upcoming movie “Powder Blue,” which co-stars Forest Whitaker. Us Weekly reports that she’ll play a “stripper trying to earn money to raise her terminally ill son,” and audiences will get an eyeful. Biel “signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see - including shots of her breasts and butt,” a source dished to the glossy.
You know what this means, don’t you? It means you may actually see a movie with Jessica Biel in it! Nah, who am I kidding? The screen shots’ll be on the web before the film even comes out.
Quote of the Weekend
Sunday, June 17th, 2007“She truly insisted that she came with me on tour. I don’t know how to say no to a pretty face. But it wasn’t really a good idea. This time I’m putting the machine before everything else. Jessica met up with me in Manchester, but for Paris I told her categorically no.”
-Justin Timberlake to the “Daily Mirror” when asked about his relationship with Jessica Biel
Justin and Jessica: It Is So On
Wednesday, May 16th, 2007Playing tonsil hockey at a London restaurant. Justin’s there for his tour, and apparently flew Jessica out to be with him. And his tongue.
Looks like the Bieler won this round of the Battle for Justin Timberlake. Scarlett Johansson’s doing just fine, though, tramping around L.A. with Alanis’s former fiance, Ryan Reynolds.
Jessica Biel Will Never Get Good Roles
Wednesday, May 16th, 2007My suggestion to Jess Biel? Marry a writer (like me) because at this rate your career as an actress is doomed. You’re a beautiful girl Jess, but the news today is bad to the bone.
A week after this Jessica Biel has taken a part as a stripper. Best of all the stripper role has a heart of gold!!
“Blue” follows a suicidal ex-priest (Whitaker), a stripper (Biel) with a terminally ill son, an elderly ex-con seeking to reunite with his daughter and a lovelorn mortician whose lives intersect in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. Timothy Linh Bui wrote and directs the film, which begins shooting on location in July.
Well at least it’s with an established writer/director. You might know him from this or this. Oh no wait, you don’t. No one does. He’s got as many successful credits as me. I’m sure he won’t be at all tempted to exploit Jessica’s nudity to publicize his project. Small time directors never do that because it would be unethical.
Look, I realize stripper parts are out there. And someone has to play them. But ladies, if people already know your name don’t do this. Those parts should go to girls trying to make a splash, unknowns who desperately need to be known. Portman got away with it in Closer because it was about two minutes of the story and she’s already Natalie Portman. But Jessica won’t. You will never get real roles if you continue taking crap ones Jess. Just a word to the wise.
And hey, Jessica Biel’s agent: you suck.
Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds?
Friday, March 9th, 2007Jessica Biel sure is a slut pretty. She’s just everyone’s favorite rebound girl. After breaking up with Derek Jeter earlier this year, Jessica promptly jumped into bed with Justin Timberlake, who had split from Cameron Diaz mere weeks before. Her latest target is hottie Ryan Reynolds, who ended his on-again-off-again engagement to Alanis Morissette (who?) in early February.
The two hard-bodies were spotted at a dinner date at Santa Monica’s Balabu this week. They would certainly have very hot babies, but, honestly, can’t Jessica give her fellow actresses a tiny bit of breathing room before hopping on their men?











