Jessica Alba, Cash Warren and little Honor Marie all went out to lunch in LA on Sunday, creating a pap frenzy.

You know, some babies are really cute.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

But it’s really not that important to vote.

I’m sorry, but I find Declare Yourself’s new campaign, wherein assorted celebrities pose with ballgags and muzzles and fishhooks through their mouths, to be more disturbing than galvanizing. Jessica Alba’s shots are easily the most annoying. This is the most recent one released. Like, does she realize that you can’t win an Oscar for a PSA?

You guys should totally vote and stuff, because it’s important. And I hear a lot of people say, “Why would I vote? I don’t live in a swing state,” and, frankly, that’s a fair point. If you don’t live in a swing state, your singular vote’s unlikely to have much impact on the actual Presidential election. But keep in mind that there are lots and lots of other matters on the ballot. There’s probably at least one that’s not clearly going one way or another. It may be one that you feel is important. Personally, I also feel it’s important to vote out of respect for the people who fought and sacrificed so that we could have the right to vote — this hits home particularly hard for me as a woman.

But, like, if something comes up and you don’t make it to the polls, I really don’t feel it’s the equivalent of being bound and gagged. There are lots of other ways to make a difference in the world and to make your voice heard. I just find these tactics to be fear-based and obnoxious.

Oh, look, here’s Jessica Alba and her perfect stomach like twenty seconds after giving birth.

I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I’m just going to tell myself that she had a ton of liposuction, because it’s the only way I can go on living in a world of such gross genetic inequity.

Jessica Alba, Cash Warren and the little one go out to lunch in Hollywood.

Hey, she brought the rubber!

This is Jessica Alba’s new ad for Declare Yourself, an organization that encourages young people to vote.

“I think it is important for young people to be aware of the need we have in this country to get them more active politically,” she says. “People respond to things that are shocking.”

Oh, Jess, I know we all have our fantasies of what we’d do with you bound and gagged.

Me, personally?

I just want to put in a DVD of Honey and make you watch it all the way through. Then I’d take off the mouth gag and make you say “I declare myself incapable of choosing my own scripts” over and over again for half an hour. Then we’d repeat the process.

But seriously, you guys, get registered to vote. Next time it could be much worse. She could be talking.

Here’s Jessica Alba, out and about with Cash Warren, just weeks after giving birth to little Honor Marie (who was not along for the trip).

Jessica looks much less pissed to see the cameras now that she’s lost that baby weight. She shared after Honor’s birth about how desperate she was to ditch the extra weight that made her feel unsexy. How vain is that! Like, I understand wanting to get your body back, but you were pregnant, Jess. The weight gain is nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, I’ve never been pregnant, so I can’t really say for sure, but when I’m pregnant I plan to eat anything and everything I want.

Come to think of it, I kind of do that anyway.

At dinner last night, there were four of us, and I forced everyone to order a dessert — after I’d eaten lobster, steak, oysters, bread, mashed potatoes and asparagus — and my girlfriend and I were going to share one. So there were three desserts in front of us, and I just dug the hell in. As I was scarfing down the chocolate cake, one of my guy friends was like, “Beet, try the tart,” and after I’d swallowed my gigantic bite of chocolate cake, I was like, “I dunno, dude. It’s not really on my diet,” and then I laughed at my own joke for like 10 minutes. Ha ha. I think I’m just going to start telling people I’m pregnant so I don’t have to feel guilty about eating like crap. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t feel guilty about eating like crap. I love it!

Oh, and check out Jessica’s wedding ring. It’s kinda funny-looking. Maybe this is just a bad angle.

She may not have wanted the paps to take pictures of her while she was pregnant, but she sure is willing to cash in on the first photos of her new baby!

Jessica Alba is getting $1.5M from OK! magazine for the first photos of her daughter, Honor Marie.

That’s half of what they paid Matthew McConaughey!

I wonder if Jessica knew that when she settled on a price. She’s probably pissed now and realizes she could have held out for more.

And what’s with OK! and all the baby pics? It’s like their new marketing strategy is to hold a monopoly on celeb baby pics.

She’s getting huuuuuuuuuuge!!!

Here’s Jess picking up some take-out food in Hollywood, and talking on her cell phone, per usual.

I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with the Jessica Alba pregnancy. I don’t even find Jessica Alba particularly interesting, but for some reason I’m just glued to watching her baby bump grow. I am so, so weird.