Nope, she’s not preggers — but Sandra Bullock will now be a full-time mom to the daughter of her husband, Jesse James. That’s because the mom of the little girl — a 5-year-old named Sunny — is a porn star who is heading to federal prison. That’s hot!

On March 10, Sunny’s mother, former adult film star Janine Lindemulder, 40, will head for federal prison to serve a six-month sentence for income tax evasion. While Janine is behind bars, an Orange County, Calif., court awarded temporary full custody of Sunny to Jesse.

Does anyone else think it’s really funny that a porn star is going to jail for tax evasion? Like, of all the reasons you’d expect a washed-up porn star to go to jail … she didn’t pay her taxes! It’s the same shit they keep getting Joe Francis on, too. Pay your taxes, people!

For her part, Sandra is already close with Sunny, and they’re often spotted hitting up the playground together.

“I don’t see the difference in having blood-related kids or children who come with your husband,” said Sandra said last spring. “I am very blessed.”

Awww, I love this attitude. I was just talking with a friend last night about how I really don’t care how I come by kids — they don’t necessarily have to come out my vagina and have my chromosomes — I just want to be a mom!

I always forget about that. Probably because she doesn’t make her marriage a publicity stunt, which is also probably why she’s still married. She’s married to Jesse James, and the two were in a car accident in Massachussetts on Friday night when they were hit by a drunk driver. And I get to be funny about this because no one was injured.

“They were shaken up, needless to say,” said a police rep. “But they were fine – he was hugging her. Jess and Sandra were hugging. They said they were fine, they didn’t need medical attention. There were quite a few people snapping pictures of them.”

The driver was a 64-year-old woman who blew a .20 on the breathalyzer. That’s two-and-a-half times the legal limit. In a 64-year-old woman. Wow. Somebody get this old lady to rehab. I mean, when you’re pulled over shit-faced drunk at that age, it’s probably not because you accidentally had a few too many beers at the club with your friends. It’s because you were doing some hard-core, dedicated, unhealthy drinking. Do they have old-lady rehabs? Instead of giving out free coffee at their AA meetings, they could give out free crochet supplies and Ensure.

Call a cab, people! Even if you’re a senior citizen!!!