Here is a realization that I just had: Hollywood seems more capable of speaking out against Jeremy Piven’s recent actions than about Chris Brown’s.

I’ve heard a ton of celebrities go on the record to call Jeremy out for dropping out of his Broadway show due to “mercury poisoning,” but nobody seems to want to go on the record to call out Chris Brown on beating the shit out of his girlfriend. In fact, Usher just issued an apology for being videotaped saying that Chris Brown should “show some remorse.” What. The. Fuck?

Anyway, here’s Felicity Huffman chatting with David Letterman about how her husband, William H. Macy, had to come to Jeremy’s rescue after he dropped out of the play. She says that William used to babysit for Jeremy when he was a child, and, she says, “in some ways you could say he’s still babysitting him.” Then she rolls her eyes a lot as Letterman prods her further about Jeremy’s “mercury poisoning.” The conversation happens around the 2:40 mark.

We can all go on national television and give Jeremy Piven a hard time for quitting a play with a bullshit excuse, but no one wants to go on television and give Chris Brown a hard time for gross domestic violence.

I don’t get it, I really don’t.

After unexpectedly dropping out of his Broadway play, Speed the Plow, citing mercury poisoning, Jeremy Piven convinced a group of fellow actors that he did not violate his contractual obligations on Thursday, thereby avoiding potential penalties for his high-profile departure.

You can read Piven’s official statement on the topic here, but here are some of my favorite excerpts:

Despite his worsening illness, Mr. Piven appeared in SPEED THE PLOW without missing a single performance during the show’s Previews and run for ten weeks, with glowing reviews. To do so, he underwent nearly daily care and treatment by multiple health care professionals at his own expense in order to combat his ongoing symptoms, which included extreme fatigue, spatial and balance problems, advancing neuroskeletal weakness, memory problems, difficulty breathing, and an alarmingly low resting heart rate. His treating physician repeatedly advised him to pull out of the show so that he could obtain the rest required to overcome his illness. Instead, Mr. Piven continued doing eight shows per week so that he would not let down his castmates, the audience, or the production. …

Although Mr. Piven’s forced withdrawal from the show was an enormous personal disappointment since it was his life-long dream to perform on Broadway, he is glad that his illness has helped raise public awareness of the serious health risks caused by Mercury exposure. He is also pleased that the Obama administration is seeking an international treaty to reduce Mercury pollution, which it has recognized as the world’s gravest chemical problem.

Uhhhh, so are you guys eating less sushi now? To prevent the mercury poisoning? Has your awareness been raised, guys? Or are you just more aware of the jokes about Jeremy Piven’s mercury poisoning?

Also why would “Mercury” be capitalized in this statement? Are you supposed to capitalize the name of every element on the periodic table, or was Jeremy Piven getting too close to a Roman god?

LOL!

This is such a great story! Jeremy Piven is in DEEP SHIT for dropping out of his Broadway play, Speed the Plow, due to “mercury poisoning” from too much sushi. Now he has to actually go and stand trial before the Actors’ Equity union to defend himself.

The producers of “Speed-the-Plow” brought Piven up on charges with Equity, arguing that his abrupt departure in December from the $3.5 million production wreaked havoc with their recoupment schedule.

Piven will appear before a committee of five actors and five producers. He is expected to brandish the results of a blood test given to him by his doctor, and will likely give a blow-by-blow account of his illness during the show.

He called several prominent actors on his own and begged them to replace him, sources said. He was also overheard telling people backstage that he was “bored out of his mind” in the show.

The producers also have a record of where Piven’s car and driver took him after performances, sources say.

Although Piven claimed he was so ill that he often went home after the show, sources say the log shows that he spent many nights out on the town. The producers will also point out that in the past, many ailing stars have taken a leave of absence from a show but have returned when they felt better. “Unless it’s a life-or-death situation, you usually find a temporary replacement and then negotiate a return,” said a producer not involved with “Speed-the-Plow.”

Jeremy is expected to appear in person for the hearing in Manhattan tomorrow. “It’s my understanding that he’ll be there - unless he has too much sushi on the plane from LA,” joked a person involved in the proceedings.

Ha!

Everyone is WAY PISSED at Jeremy about this shit. “I don’t think many theater actors are in favor of what he’s doing,” a veteran producer said. “They take jobs on Broadway very seriously, and he’s a Hollywood actor, behaving like one.”

If he loses at this hearing, he’ll be stripped of his Equity membership (but he’ll still have his SAG membership, so it won’t impact his film or TV work), and the show’s producers can take him to civil court and sue his brains out.

WOW!!

Do NOT fuck with a Broadway show, you guys!!!

Okay, guys.  I really have every plan of letting this go after this post.  Seriously, Jeremy Piven is just such a big, fat, fucking liar that I need to share that sentiment every time the opportunity presents itself. 

Piv’s publicist released a statement regarding the pending grievance filed against Jeremy for his departure from the Broadway play Speed The Plow.  It’s so long; You can read it in it’s entirety here.  The gist:

The claims made by the producers of Speed-the-Plow are absurd and outrageous. Mr. Piven’s serious medical condition has been well documented by multiple physicians. He withdrew from the play due to medical necessity on the advice of his doctors, after he was hospitalized and warned by his physicians that enforced rest was necessary in order to avoid serious medical problems, including a heart attack. His symptoms included extreme fatigue, spacial problems, difficulty remembering his lines, difficulty maintaining his balance, and an alarmingly low resting heart rate. Mr. Piven followed his doctors’ advice, although his forced withdrawal from the show was an enormous personal disappointment since it was a life-long dream to perform on Broadway.

And because prayer is answered, the video above was emailed to me today.  It was made by the National Fisheries Institute as a rebuttal to Jeremy Piven’s ridiculous claim.

Whew.  Okay, thank you for listening.  I think I’m over it now.

The producers of Speed the Plow have filed a grievance against Jeremy Piven for his early departure from the Broadway play.  For some unknown reason, the show has tanked since he left.  It’s hard to believe that Jeremy Piven is the lynchpin of success of any production, but the numbers don’t lie.

Before Jeremy got so “sick”, he had asked to be released from the show early.  He obviously never learned how to call in sick.  You can’t foreshadow your illness and you can’t claim drug abuse mercury poisoning and then arrive at every party, premiere and award show in the city looking completely healthy, save a bloody nose. 

Now, a committee will convene to determine if there should be some sort of monetary compensation paid to the producers.  I know that I’m only supposed to reserve prayer for really important things such as Amy Winehouse, so it would be wrong to pray for a huge fine for Piven, right?

Here’s Jeremy, obviously ill, last week at the Golden Globes.

Oh, how it never ends!  As you know, Jeremy Piven had to drop out of the Broadway play Speed the Plow due to mercury poisoning which he received from eating too much sushi.  Now, these recent pictures have surfaced of Piven with a very red, bloody and irritated looking nose.  Apparently sushi overdosing has been rough on Piv.

I predict another exhaustion and stress announcement coming up!

After Jeremy Piven had to drop out of his Broadway show, Speed the Plow, because he ate too much sushi, William H. Macy has stepped up to the plate to replace him. Macy will take over Piven’s role on January 13. Hopefully he’ll stay away from spicy tuna!