Well,  it’s happened again; needless and debatably immoral airbrushing on the cover of a magazine. And just like last time, it’s yet another “women’s health” magazine that claims to focus on “Diet, Fitness, and Healthy Eating.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt appears on the cover of the October issue of Shape magazine. Now, she is by no means an overweight woman, but even so, this health and fitness magazine airbrushed her size 2 ass. You can see the October cover on the left and pictures of a slightly hippier, thicker in the waist Love Hewitt on vacation in Hawaii last month.

Part of the blurb for the October issue on Shape’s website reads:

“For the most part, yeah, I’m happy with my body, but there are days when I’m like, ‘Ugh! Really? Why is it so hard to fit into my jeans?’ That’s when I say to myself, ‘I look this way because I’m supposed to. If we all looked the same, we’d be boring.’” Here, she reveals her stay-healthy-and-happy strategies as well as her work out that she uses to stay slim and confident.

I’m not blaming Jennifer. What the magazine chooses to do with their cover is their business. It’s not often that I take the moral high ground– mostly because I spend so much time traversing the moral low ground that taking the high ground represents a rather strenuous and perilous climb for me. But if Shape magazine were a person, it should be downright ashamed of itself.

I can understand airbrushing out cellulite, blemishes, or shadows to present a cosmetically pleasing image. I can even begrudgingly acknowledge that a high fashion magazine– whose modus operandi is to present unrealistic images of clothing and women– might digitally eliminate a few pounds from a model to make her look thinner than she actually is.

But the hypocrisy of magazines that claim to be devoted to fitness, exercise, and “Total Body Confidence” airbrushing inches off someone as thin as Jennifer Love Hewitt to make her look even thinner while plying its readers with exercise moves guaranteed to “Take an Inch off your Hips” is just disgustingly impalpable….Unless their method for taking an inch off your hips involves Photoshop. And it doesn’t.

Seriously, if you have a subscription to Self or Shape magazine, you should probably cancel it. Right now. They’re just proving themselves to be full of crap and lies.

It was only this past January that Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ross McCall ended their year-long engagement and the universal question was posed:  Will Jennifer Love Hewitt ever find love again?  Take heart, the answer is a resounding “YES!”

JLH’s boyfriend Jamie Kennedy was on stage Saturday night at the Laugh Factory comedy club in Long Beach — I didn’t even know he was a comedian.  Isn’t that horrible? — when an audience member yelled out that he should marry Hewitt.  Kennedy responded by getting down on one knee and proposing to Jennifer “I Love You For Today” Hewitt.  Thankfully, his request for her hand in marriage fell within her timeline.

Now, Jamie didn’t have a ring since this engagement was so nauseating impromptu, but I imagine they’ll be split up around the time that the ring shopping commences.

J-Love may have wormed her slimy little way into Wendie’s heart, but I continue to carry my distaste for her. And I am EXTREMELY SCARED for women everywhere now that I hear she’s writing a book about dating.

With plenty of dating experience under her belt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has decided to write a book, titled The Day I Shot Cupid, addressing romantic relationships that will include everything from tips on text-flirting and how to start over after a breakup.

“I thought it was time to share the real story of what I’ve learned navigating the dating waters.” Hewitt says in a statement from Voice publishers. “Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons.”

Um, I will be interested in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s book when she calls it The Day I Got Engaged to a Man and Then Actually Married Him. Because, look, I’ve been on a lot of dead-end dates, too. I’ve dated a lot of men and then realized that it wasn’t going to work out in the long run. But I never got engaged to the dudes. And it’s a mistake that everyone is entitled to make once, but how many damn times have you been engaged now, Love? And then broke it off? I will take dating advice from you the same day I take fashion tips from Chloe Sevigny.

The book — if you dare to read it — will come out in March 2010.

Nope, that’s not Rachael Ray and that’s not Tatum O’Neal.  That’s JLH — doesn’t she look really old all of a sudden?  Bad lighting and unfortunate Miss Clairol color choice, I guess.

Anyway, Jennifer Love Hewitt is mirroring the exact same sentiment that I just wrote about a couple of weeks on my own blog.  She was quoted as saying, “It’s just gross. It’s really weird — I can eat chicken if I take if off the bone, but I can’t eat a chicken leg and have my teeth touch the bone. It freaks me out. It’s just the chicken skin. You go, ‘Oh gosh, I’m eating a chicken,’ and it’s really disturbing.” 

Yes, these are very disturbing concepts I’ve been grappling with.   Both realizing that I’m eating something that actually once had a parents and a face and also realizing that my brain is starting to work like JLH’s.  If I go blond and start getting engaged every seven months, euthanize me.  Please.

As if you needed any more reasons to find Jennifer Love Hewitt annoying, she crashed boyfriend Jamie Kennedy’s 104.7 Johnjay and Rich Show radio interview so she could talk about — what else?- getting engaged.

A rumor has come out that Jamie and I supposedly got engaged,” she said after the two were spotted at a Las Vegas jewelry shop buying a small ring.

When her boyfriend heard the engagement reports, “the poor guy was on fire,” she went on. “He was like, ‘No, no, no. That’s not true!’”

Added the actress, “I was like, ‘God, would that be the worst thing in the world?! Excuse me, but just for a second, there’s a line of people who would probably be OK with that [rumor].’”

Kennedy said he didn’t mean to upset his girlfriend.

“The thing is, people asked me, ‘Are you engaged?’ And I just said, ‘No, not that the moment, I’d be a very lucky man,’” he said. “And she got mad at me!”

Kennedy then asked Hewitt for a proposal timeline.

Replied Hewitt, “A timeline? By this time next year, if we’re not planning something, then there’s a situation.”

Really, Jennifer?  I want pictures of the lines.  The lines of men who have no other life goal than to be married to you.  Maybe you should spend a bit less time living in your fantasy land and issuing ultimatums and a little more time trying to successfully participate in a dating relationship to begin with.  I mean, haven’t you been engaged, like, 50 times?

You can’t ride a horse while it’s dead and you’re beating it, Love.

But that’s exactly what JLH is hoping to sing about — in the latest iteration of the decades-long free-fall that is her music career. Yes, it’s true: She’s going to sing country.

Her boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy, says that she’s “writing a country song, and I really want to make her a new demo for her music, because I think she should do singing again. She’s so good.”

Um, yeah. A new demo would be a good idea, seeing as the last time she released a song it was in 2002. Since then, she’s been through countless fiances. It’s definitely time to go for country. Hey, it worked out so well for Jessica Simpson …

Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt gives boyfriend Jamie Kennedy a kiss before he performs at a comedy club in New York.

Wonder how long it’ll be before they’re engaged and then she changes her mind?

Just a few months after she and her fiance split, Jennifer Love Hewitt is making no secret of her love for Jamie Kennedy. It seems like there’s a new set of photographs of them every day, so you know she’s tipping off the paparazzi. It’s leading some people — including her former fiance — to speculate that there was something going on between the two of them even while she was engaged to Ross McCall.

According to InTouch:

Only three months after splitting with fiance Ross McCall, Jennifer Love Hewitt has found love again with her Ghost Whisperer co-star Jamie Kennedy – and Ross is not happy about it at all!

“Ross feels completely blindsided that Jennifer is already so publicly involved with someone again,” a close friend tells In Touch. “He feels that Jamie always flirted with Jennifer around him, and now he is wondering to his friends if this romance actually began while they were still together. He is very upset.”

While pals claim that Ross, 33, was the one to call off the three-year relationship in January, he is still hurt that she moved on so quickly.

“He thinks this is completely messed up,” a friend said.

Damn, Jennifer. Were you cheating on your fiance? I certainly wouldn’t put it past you. You just always need to be “in love,” dontcha, Love?

Fame Pictures

Hi all. I have a serious handicap today, because my fake nails have grown out to the point where they really need to be shaved down and it’s very difficult to type. I am way too absent-minded to actually go into the salon and have them shaved down, so, instead, I’m just writing less. This is probably a poor decision in light of the fact that my entire job is to write. But I digress.

If you hadn’t heard by now, Jennifer “Can’t Find Love” Hewitt is working her evil magic on “funnyman” Jamie Kennedy. I suppose at this point she has to date someone with a sense of humor. After all, she is something of a joke.

Jamie and Jennifer were vacationing in Mexico this weekend when Jamie came down with a bad case of kidney stones. Ouch! The ill-fated couple flew back to Los Angeles Wednesday morning and Jamie went straight to the hospital. “He had comedy shows scheduled in Boston, but he canceled them because of his kidney stones,” says a source. “He felt better later in the day and went home, but on Thursday he started hurting again and he went back to the hospital.”

Whatever. These things aren’t kidney stones. They’re the evil little alien creatures Jen’s body involuntarily excretes during sexual intercourse. God speed, Jamie.

Jamie Kennedy has been watching the Spadester (Hollywood’s Sneak Attack Stallion) and taking detailed notes. Much like David he’s channeled all his funny harmless man mojo into dating increasingly attractive women.

In the past he’s been linked to Paris Hilton, Mena Suvari, Christa Campbell, Heidi Mueller and now Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Yes, that’s Jennifer Love Just-Broke-Off-My-Engagement Hewitt. Now, knowing what we know about Jen’s dating history, she seems like she usually goes more for personality versus looks. Jamie, being the Spade student that he is, picked up on this and joked his way right into her prominent bosems.

I predict that Jen is just the latest summit in Kennedy’s climb to the top of ‘Unexpected Pairings Mountain’.

Since she can’t seem to find a relationship that works, JLove is apparently channeling her frustrations through the power of push-ups.

Homegirl hit up Leno this week and showed him what she was made of.

TEN WHOLE PUSH-UPS!!

That’s the kind of athletic prowess that you only see out of a size two.

I haven’t picked up a copy of the latest issue of Us Weekly, but I think I might, because the Internets are all abuzz with what a spanking they gave Jennifer Love Hewitt about the recent end of her engagement.

According to the magazine, J.Love had already bought her wedding gown and set the date and destination for her spring 2009 wedding when she called off the nuptials. Aw.

But apparently it’s all Jennifer’s fault. The “serial heartbreaker” is “needy and immature” with “trust issues” and a “history of body issues,” according to sources.

Oooh, I definitely have to pick up this magazine. I’m all for hating on J. Love. That girl has always bugged the hell out of me.