The triathlete mother formerly known as JLo has signed on to play the lead role in Plan B, a film being produced by CBS’s brand new movies division.

The project involves a single woman who attempts to conceive via artificial insemination and winds up in a quandary after she finds romance. Production is scheduled to start in the spring, making it one of the first projects to get a green light at CBS Films.

Let me get this straight: this plot didn’t work as a comedy when it starred Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, but we’re gonna give it another go with Jennifer Lopez?

Why don’t these studios hire me to consult for them? I am always right about these things.

Also: Did Jennifer Lopez make a single good movie after Selena? I’m coming up empty here.

“I have been in a few challenging [relationships]. I have been in relationships that can make you doubt who you are and what you are capable of, and doubt what you deserve. It took me a bit little longer to get it right.”

Jennifer Lopez at the California Women’s Conference in Long Beach.

My former employer used to send a bunch of us to that conference every year, and, I have to say, it was one of the best things they could have done for their female employees. I always left feeling so inspired and motivated and good about myself. I’m kind of bummed I wasn’t there this year.

According to Entertainment Tonight, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony renewed their vows last night in their suite at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas.  The romantic in me cheers for their everlasting union.  The cynic in me wonders if this resets the clock on their pre-nup.

Okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far, but they sure were looking close at Elle’s 15th annual Women in Hollywood gala yesterday:

Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini were like a couple of high schoolers last night at Elle’s Women in Hollywood Tribute.

The two arrived hand in hand and then dashed through the predinner cocktail reception still holding hands. (A big burly bodyguard led them through the crowd, making sure no one got in their way.) As soon as they made it to their seats, they hung out like a couple of cool chicks in the cafeteria.

They talked, they giggled, and they took pics of each other with their BlackBerrys.

And it didn’t end there…

They excused themselves from their table (which included Jenny McCarthy and the emcee for the night, E!’s Chelsea Handler) at least twice to go to the loo. And yes, they walked to and from the bathroom holding hands.

Leah Remini, of course, is a Scientologist. Jennifer Lopez is still denying that she’s involved with the religion, but did say in a recent interview that she’d send Max and Emme to a Scientology school.

Thanks Coral!

I have to admit, Jennifer Lopez’s legs look freakin’ awesome at this launch of Deseo for Men, her new fragrance, at Macy’s in Herald Square.

Her outfit is so-so.

Her make-up?

Atrocious.

The foundation isn’t even the right shade. The eye-shadow looks like mine did when I was eight and playing with my little CoverGirl kid set. Everything about this look is totally amateurish. Whoever did her make-up for this event needs to be fired and banned from the industry and probably also fined.

Hopefully you guys do, because every photo agency in LA followed this chick’s famous ass up and down Zuma Beach on Sunday, as she completed a Malibu triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes and 28 seconds.

Matthew McConaughey also completed the tri (yes, there are pics of him too).

To cheer them on were Marc Anthony and Camila Alves (along with little Levi). Marc and Jen look soooo cute here! It’s nice that he’s so supportive. I remember when I ran my first 10K — the Camp Pendleton Mud Run, which I would not recommend for your first 10K — and I’d been training for months, but my boyfriend at the time just stayed home, got really stoned and laughed at me, like, “Wait, you’re actually going to try to do this? You’re going to run six miles? You? Oh, sweetie. That’s cute. I’ll believe it when I see it.” So I ran it on a team with four of my (ultra-athletic) girlfriends who believed in me, and when I thought I was absolutely going to die and couldn’t go another foot, they pushed me ahead and cheered me on and hung back with me and refused to let me quit. Not only did we all finish, we placed toward the top of the female teams in our age range. When I called my boyfriend after to tell him the news he was like, “Seriously? Woah. I thought for sure I’d be hearing from the local hospital before I heard from you.” Grrr. It makes me mad now, years later, just thinking about it.

So it really struck a nerve for me to see Marc there to cheer Jen on, and it’s a good reminder that I’m single these days because I have much higher standards in men now — as I deserve to.

Question: How much did you guys miss seeing Jennifer Lopez on the big screen?

a) OMG so much!
b) Not at all.
c) She used to do movies?

I guess raising children wasn’t quite as fulfilling as Mrs. Marc Anthony hoped it would be, as she’s signed on to do the romantic comedy The Governess. Or maybe she likes the kids just fine, but she’s looking for any excuse to get away from her Crypt-Keeper husband for as much time as possible.

Here’s the plot:

Story centers on a professional thief who, in order to pull off a major bank heist, poses as a nanny to the three unruly children of a wealthy widower. When she starts to fall for the kids and their father, she must decide if she can give up her past for a chance to start over.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the woman-as-bank-robber plotline never, ever, ever works. I challenge anyone to name one time it has worked. I know Katie Holmes can’t think of one. So, please, Hollywood, stop trying.

Actually, I’m noticing a pattern here: maybe women only do bank-robber movies if it’s the best excuse they have to spend some time away from their creepy husbands. Hm.