Question: How much did you guys miss seeing Jennifer Lopez on the big screen?

a) OMG so much!
b) Not at all.
c) She used to do movies?

I guess raising children wasn’t quite as fulfilling as Mrs. Marc Anthony hoped it would be, as she’s signed on to do the romantic comedy The Governess. Or maybe she likes the kids just fine, but she’s looking for any excuse to get away from her Crypt-Keeper husband for as much time as possible.

Here’s the plot:

Story centers on a professional thief who, in order to pull off a major bank heist, poses as a nanny to the three unruly children of a wealthy widower. When she starts to fall for the kids and their father, she must decide if she can give up her past for a chance to start over.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the woman-as-bank-robber plotline never, ever, ever works. I challenge anyone to name one time it has worked. I know Katie Holmes can’t think of one. So, please, Hollywood, stop trying.

Actually, I’m noticing a pattern here: maybe women only do bank-robber movies if it’s the best excuse they have to spend some time away from their creepy husbands. Hm.

So Lisa Wilson, a woman who was a flight attendant on a private flight JLo took in 2006, is suing Jen for $5M, claiming the Jennifer’s dog lunged at her and bit her while she was walking down the aisle of the plane.

Lisa began treatment within days for back pain and in April of 2007 underwent surgery. Per the suit, she remains in treatment and has been unable to resume her work as a flight attendant, resulting in—what else?—”substantial economic loss.”

In her suit, she claims La Lopez “knew or should have known that the animal had vicious propensities” and as a result is liable for the seven-figure damages not only from the actress, but from her Los Angeles-based company, Nuyorican Productions.

Speaking of dogs on planes, Leo is going to take his first plane flight on Sunday morning! That’s right, my puppy and I are headed off to my old stomping grounds, NYC, to see my old pals and attend a fabulous party with a kick-ass music act, but more on that later. We’re going to stay with my friend Tiff, who has an adorable little Maltipoo named Fiona, whom Leo is eventually going to marry. We’re very excited!

Here’s Jennifer looking svelte and young and happy, less than two months after giving birth to twins.

Jen has reportedly lost 40 pounds in those two months.

God, I can’t even seem to lose five pounds. Maybe if I stopped eating Burger King and cookie dough all day. And exercised. But OMG! The bed in the furnished apartment I am renting is KILLING me. It seemed okay at first, but, after three nights of sleeping on it, I honestly cannot stand up straight. It’s AWFUL on my back. I, like, waddle around the house. And my stuff is all over, I haven’t even fully unpacked yet, but I can’t even deal with it because it hurts too much to bend over. So exercise is clearly out of the question. And I can’t possibly cook when it hurts so much to stand up. I have to get drive-thru. So then it’s not my fault that I can’t lose weight. It’s the fault of whomever furnished Chez Eggplant. So I’ll just stay fat and lazy, and blame it on other people.

Ha ha, one of my guy friends wore a shirt this weekend that said “I Have the Body of a God” and it had a picture of Buddha on it. I laughed forever.

What was this article supposed to be about?

Oh, yeah. Jennifer. She looks good. And I’m not going to go as far as to say Marc looks good, too — I would never, ever say that about a man wearing a kerchief around his neck, just as a matter of principle — but he does look better than usual. Like I have an agreement with my employer that whenever I run a photo of something that might be offensive, I have to run it after the jump, and not on the main page. And normally whenever there’s a photo of Marc Anthony I think, “You know, I should run this after the jump,” but, today, Marc Anthony looks human enough that he gets to be on the main page. Congrats, Marc!

[Image via Splash]

Jennifer Lopez showed up at the NYC premiere of Shine a Light looking significantly lighter herself.

Her husband, the Crypt Keeper, was there, too, but I’m not running his picture because it scares small children.

Here’s J-Lo with Max and Emme on the cover of People.

The $6M cover of People.

What do you think?

Are these pics worth that kind of cash?

The JTwins are named Max and Emme.

What I wanna know is what their last names are. Marc Anthony’s real last name is Muñiz. So what do we have on our hands here? Is it an Emme Muñiz? Can I call her EMu?

I’m just asking. These things are important to me.

The day has finally arrived!

Early this morning, in Long Island, NY, Ms. Jennifer Lopez gave birth to a healthy baby girl and, 11 minutes later, a healthy baby boy.

The twins are as yet unnamed.

“Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” says Jen’s manager.

Congrats to the happy couple!

$6.5 million for pictures of twins is the new going rate:

(Jennifer Lopez) has reportedly secured the highest price ever paid for celebrity baby photos following a deal with People magazine. The staggering sum will be shared with OK! magazine, who will print the pictures in their 15 international editions. A spokesperson for the OK! magazine said: “It is fantastic for these international markets, and especially important with the immense strength the exclusive will bring to the new launch of OK! Spain.”

Christina only got $1.5m… but it was only one kid. Plus the Lopez twins are 20lbs each.