You guys, I think I just spontaneously got pregnant. These photos of Jen Garner running errands with Violet and Seraphina are pretty much as effective as actual semen when it comes to knocking up a 20-something woman. I can’t tell if I have morning sickness or I’m just nauseous from the cuteness overdose.

Either way, I’m going to name my unborn child Gigli.

OK, maybe the headline is a bit much, but what the hell is Jennifer Garner doing with her babies that makes them little smile-machines? Garner and her hubby Ben Affleck took their older daughter Violet and baby Seraphina out to brunch in Cambridge, MA this morning and little Seraphina was smiling the entire time, just like her big sis is always seen doing. Perhaps they’ve paid off their children to be two of the happiest looking celeb kids out there (Suri can barely be bothered to grin) or they’re just feeding them candy and taking them on unicorn rides all day, but whatever it is, they’re doing something right…

Last night was the premiere of The Invention of Lying or as I see it, last night was was the night that Jennifer Garner let everyone know that she does like Ricky Gervais but does not like Rob Lowe.

Clearly, Jennifer has her pre-baby body back into fighting form.  She wore an absolutely beautiful sheath dress by Gucci that is hand-embroidered and beaded.  Speaking of looking svelte, check out Ricky Gervais, huh?  Though he’s been known for pissing off fat people everywhere, he was always a little stout himself.  Not so much anymore.  Oh,  and he may spent too much time wagging his scrotum in his nannies faces, but Rob Lowe is still really, really hot.

Also there:  Jonah Hill, Kenny G, Jay Manuel and Paris Latsis.  If you don’t remember, Paris is the shipping heir who was engaged to the other Paris — Paris Hilton — for a short period of time in 2005.  The photo agencies are tagging him as an Executive Producer.  I wonder if he has a better grasp of the “producer” job description than his ex-fiancee?

Tough life for Jennifer Garner. At home she gets to make out with Ben Affleck and at work she gets to do the same with Ashton Kutcher. The two locked lips while filming a scene for their new movie Valentine’s Day, in which Kutcher’s character proposes to Garner’s on a romantic bridge. While it doesn’t exactly seem like the two have much chemistry, I’m really envious of what a hard day’s work means for the two of them.

Before there was Suri, before there was Shiloh, there was just one insanely cute celebrity child stealing our hearts: Violet Affleck. This morning Vi and her mom, Jennifer Garner, went out in a pyjamies-clad Starbucks run in Brentwood. Hitching a ride on her mom’s hip, the three year old also wore her smile for the paps and the barista.

“Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me — she did not like my jokes.  I was picking on [Jen’s husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I’ve known him for a really long time — I was talking smack — and Jennifer goes, ‘You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I’m going to kick your a—.’ And she could — I’ve seen ‘Alias.’ She has a real girly sense of humor and didn’t understand that I was kidding.  I remember talking to Ben and being like, ‘I know your lady is not finding me amusing. Ben, I’ve known you for years, and you are far sicker than I am!’ His jokes are way dirtier than mine. He’s made jokes to me, and I’ve been like, ‘Ben, you need to go to church.’”

Director Kevin Smith talking about the humorless Jennifer Garner and his experiences with her on the set of Catch and Release in 2006.  As an aside, Smith is currently directing A Couple of Dicks — sounds appropriate.

It seems like every time we get a round of rumors about Ben Affleck and Jen Garner calling it quits, we get another set of photos of them walking through a park with their adorable daughters.

Here’s Ben and Jen, along with Seraphina and Violet, looking very much the happy family in Boston today.

They fall flat on their faces too!

Why, oh why do I find people falling on their faces to be one of the funniest things ever?  And why isn’t there video of Jennifer Garner wiping out as she went for a run?  If you’re really into gross stuff like pus, WireImage was kind enough to capture close-ups of the injuries.  Why?  I.  Have.  No.   Idea.

Garner appeared last night on Late Show with David Letterman and got some TLC from Dave, who isn’t sounding so hot himself.  She, in turn, gave him some tea and honey.

I’d like to apologize in advance for the Canada tourism advertisement CBS insists we must watch in the beginning.  It’s the goofiest ever and makes me feel embarrassed for the entire country.

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you for eating.  Thank you for not being a size zero, seventy-two hours postpartum.  I applaud you for not celebrating each c-section by having your tummy tucked and your thighs sucked.

Thank you for not hiring a stylist to “do” you before you pick up your daughter at school.

Also, I’d like to thank you for shopping at mass merchandisers.  Sometimes, in photos, I recognize the Old Navy togs that your children don.  It brings me peace when I see your kid dressed in the $12.50 Gap pique polo.

In other words, today I honor you for being normal.  In Hollywood terms, you are a complete and total freak.

Here’s Ben and Jen picking up little Violet from school together.

Aside from the fact that they’re being photographed by paparazzi, you’d never know these two were famous. They’re just a couple taking a break from the baby at home to pick up the kiddo at school, and maybe catch fifteen minutes of alone time in the process.

Love them!

They don’t lose the baby weight instantly!

Jennifer Garner refuses to hide from the paparazzi — taking Seraphina Rose to a check-up at the doctor and dropping off Violet at school — while showing off a little bit of the remnant baby weight.

It’s so nice that she hasn’t holed up for a month only to re-emerge with a picture-perfect (and surgically improved) body. She’s living a real life post-pregnancy, like most moms! I love Jen so much.

Image via Bauer-Griffin

She is Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck!!!

I actually think it’s a beautiful name.

Glad they got a flower name in there, though!!!