Jennifer Connelly was totally the Starving Green Giant at the LA premiere of He’s Just Not That Into You.

Those shoulder pads aren’t fooling anyone, sweetheart!

You’re melting away!

But if you have to be all anorexic, you may as well do it in great shoes, right?

I was so happy that we no longer hear this HJNTIY phrase every three minutes and now I fear its resurgence. 

What chance of success do you think this movie has?  It has a huge cast including Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Justin Long, Jennifer Connelly and Kevin Connolly.  I just don’t think that the woman that needs to see this movie ever will.  Because she’s never going to think it applies to her.

I remember one specific girl I knew who had a years-long relationship with a guy who wasn’t into her.  He would tell her he didn’t love her and that they had no future and she would reply by asking him what he meant by that.  As if he could have been any clearer.  He would tell her to “fuck off” and she viewed that as him really making an effort to communicate.  He had a one-night stand and she believed that his bad judgement was a result of his fear of the intensity of feelings he had for her.  I tried to explain that sometimes a man is just not going to be interested enough.  And it’s not always for some big meaningful reason like they feel that they don’t deserve happiness.  So if you are trying to determine if a guy is into you or not, he isn’t.  Doesn’t seem like we should need a book and a movie to grasp that concept.

Oh, allow me to save you some time and eye strain; the answer is no.  No matter how many times you slo-mo, rewind, repeat, you cannot see Scarlett Johansson’s boobs at 1:45.

I’d like to begin this piece by stating that I think it’s absolutely absurd that someone’s trying to make a movie based off the Greg Behrendt book He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a great book that revolutionized my dating life, but it’s a stupid premise for a movie. And I hate that they’re doing this.

That said, the cast includes Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Connelly.

And word on the street is that the two Jennifers did NOT get along well during filming. In fact, Connelly will not appear with the rest of the cast on an upcoming Marie Claire cover, because Aniston reportedly threatened to pull out of the shoot if Connelly participated. (Johansson will not appear, either, as she was apparently unavailable for the shoot.)

According to Life & Style:

Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. “Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover,” says an insider familiar with the movie’s shoot. “It was all about getting Jennifer Aniston front and center and looking as sexy as possible.”

So what’s Jen’s beef with [Connelly]? While Aniston’s rep denies that there’s any discord between the actresses, they just didn’t hit it off, says the insider: “There was no camaraderie between those two whatsoever. They didn’t seem like friends in the slightest.”

Aniston’s probably just bitter because Jennifer Connelly has a happy marriage and kids, and Aniston’s stuck trying to get John “Player” Mayer to settle down.