Jennifer Aniston has been shafted by a man she was dating for another woman once again, and of course that’s gotta hurt. While it may not have been her husband Brad Pitt or on/off beau John Mayer, Bradley Cooper has left her feeling cold after ditching out on her after a promising dinner date to settle in with Renee Zellweger.

It’s not that Jen really cares all that much about Bradley, although she did think there was a bit of promise for the two of them, it’s really more that she doesn’t understand what Renee has that she doesn’t. A source close to Renee explained to Us Weekly why they think she has the edge over Jen: “She just does her thing, has her friends and her life and is cool. She’s really happy and doesn’t need anyone to feel complete.”

Ouch. As opposed to Jen, who’s flailed around town with every dude I can think of since her split with Brad. One of Aniston’s friends also told Us, “She’s used to being single and in work mode, and she’s used to rejection.” Double ouch.

“If I’m the emblem for ‘this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,’ so be it.”

This most hypocritical quotable was brought to you by Elle.

And while I laugh hysterically, to the point of not being able to catch my breath, I’m going to huff some Primatene.

I fully admit that I’m tough on Jennifer Aniston.  I’d really have no issue with her if it wasn’t for the near-constant interviews in which she talks about Brad Pitt.  Her neediness seems only to be overshadowed by her chin.  But now she’s gone and done something really nice that I must acknowledge … and I feel a little guilty for being so harsh.

Aniston has been in New York filming the thriller The Bounty with Gerard Butler.  Over the Fourth of July weekend, she paid every crew member’s salary for the Thursday preceding the holiday so that they could have four consecutive days of vacation.  Rumor has it that she personally walked around the set telling each employee “It was my husband’s idea.”  (I’m lying about that.)  A crew member said, “Jen is such a genuinely good person.  How many people in this world would pay for an entire movie set to have off for the day? Not just anyone does that. We’re talking big bucks.”   Listen, Jennifer Aniston has big bucks — she gets paid a subsidy every episode, every market when a Friends rerun airs — but she certainly is under no obligation to share the wealth.  Therefore, I begrudgingly admit that that was a really nice, completely un-Hollywoodish thing to do.

Perhaps “I am not dating Jennifer Aniston” should be added to those little yellow books of commonly used foreign language phrases; right between “Hello” and “Where is the American Embassy?”

At the Louis Vuitton show in Paris yesterday, Bradley Cooper spoke to reporters and once again denied that he and Jennifer Aniston are an item.  And he did it in French. Hot.

Translated:

She’s a friend of mine. Simply, simply, just a friend. In America, its not like it is here. She’s someone who is super, super known. Famous. If someone says ‘hello’ to her, it’s given that he’s fallen in love with her. So, no. No. She’s a very, very interesting woman, but she’s simply a friend.

I wonder how many times he’ll have to do this. Probably every time he has dinner with her. Or speaks to her. Or looks at her. Because if you have a penis and come within a 5 yard radius of Jennifer Aniston, you are dating her.

It must be difficult for Jennifer Aniston to eat out, considering that she hast to be in a relationship with someone in order to eat dinner with them.

Late Friday night, Jen was spotted having a late dinner with The Hangover start Bradley Cooper. According to the manager, the two were “very nice and chatty.” Given that they also went to a party together in May, gossip bloggers consider this irrefutable evidence that the two are now engaged and she is pregnant with his love spawn.

I’m not going to hand Beet the tissue box and Jennifer Aniston-shaped voodoo doll just yet because according to the manager, the two didn’t drink any alcohol during their “dinner date.” Perhaps I’m just a whiskey-soaked slut, but have you ever been on a late Friday night date (with someone who was not fresh out of a 12 step program) that didn’t involve alcohol?

That may be more of a sad commentary on my romantic life than proof that these two aren’t dating, but I’m not biting on this one just yet.

Jennifer Aniston, frightening a small child on the New York City set of her movie The Baster.  I bet you five dollars she was saying something like, “Hiya honey!  Wanna hear the story of my husband Brad and how he left me?  He was so uncool!”

This day has been heavy on the Butler gossip, and I’m okay with that. Remember those rumors from late last year that everyone’s favorite Spartan was rubbing shields with Jennifer Aniston at the Toronto film festival? Well, rumors are flying again that the two might be seeing each other on a regular basis:

According to sources, the duo has been meeting up at the former Friends star’s New York apartment.

“She said that in their film meetings, the chemistry was intense and physical,” the Sun quoted a source close to Jennifer…

I know a lot of people feel bad for Jennifer because of her “unlucky in love” schtick, but there’s only so much sympathy you can give someone who just keeps making such bad dating choices. Most of you have at least one friend like that– or I should say had one friend like that– who dates jerk after jerk and wonders why things don’t ever work out for her.
Gerard is known for being something of a player– which is fine if you’re just looking for a little post-relationship rebound fling– but another source says that Aniston is “smitten” and looking to develop a serious relationship with him.