Okay, okay, this is really old, but it just came across my inbox and I had to share it. I’d never seen it before.

It’s Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston, many, many years ago, in a training video for Windows 95.

Yes, it’s every bit as painful as it sounds. And you wonder how much they got paid to do this.

But is it more painful than buckling down and finishing those expense reports you’re supposed to be working on?

Only you can make that decision, dear readers.

Part II is after the jump.

Thanks Marc!

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After all the rumors about how he’d cheated on Jennifer Aniston left and right, I guess John Mayer wanted to set the record straight. He chatted with reporters after a workout this weekend, saying that “there’s no lying, there’s no cheating, there’s no nothing … Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met.”

He went on to say that “People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.”

Eh, we all know that’s bullshit. He and Jen broke up because Jessica Simpson sent one too many death threats.

So far, no comment from Jen’s camp.

Rumors has it that Jennifer Aniston’s new man is none other than Matt Felker — the guy from the “Toxic” video, and also Selma Blair’s ex. What is it with Jen and male models?

Also, sources are reporting that Jen dumped John — after the third time he’d cheated on her.

Apparently, Aniston gave Mayer a “three strikes and you’re out” ultimatum — after learning about his “quickie” flings with a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant for his concert tour.

That was two strikes. Another dalliance, with a groupie, was the final straw for Aniston.

Uh, dude?

This is so fucked up.

What the hell are you saying about yourself when you tell your boyfriend, “Sure, you can cheat on me, but only twice.”

I mean, I doubt this is true, but if it is?

So stupid.

Dude, so how long did it take for this “serious relationship” to fall to pieces? A month? Two?

Sources are reporting that John dumped Jen.

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked. John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.”

Word is that Jen’s already got a new man — some sort of male model. Sigh. Isn’t she bored of the male models yet?

Miley Cyrus shows off her moves during a performance on Good Morning America.

Meanwhile, rumor is that Jennifer Aniston has approached Miley to team up on a movie.

Jen told a friend that she wants to play an overbearing stage mother to Miley’s rising singing star character.

“I approached Miley about it, and she thinks it’s a very cool idea,” she reportedly said.

She and Miley have had several chats about the film, and she’s already hiring someone to start writing the script, according to reports.

I’m not sure I buy any of this. Does Jennifer Aniston really want to admit she looks like she could be the mother of a 15-year-old?

I doubt it.

This is a fun little item from Page Six:

JOHN Mayer might have broken Minka Kelly’s heart when he left her for Jennifer Aniston - but he had the decency to call her before the news about them hit the press. A Kelly pal said, “Minka [above] received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer. He apologized to Minka, ‘Sorry, but I’m really in love.’ ” She found that interesting as, “during his relationship with her, John mentioned, ‘I don’t really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.’ ” Mayer’s rep declined to comment.

Well, I’ll tell ya, John Mayer’s getting plenty of Jennifer Aniston’s thing these days.

He’s gonna get bored of her so quick.

I’d like to begin this piece by stating that I think it’s absolutely absurd that someone’s trying to make a movie based off the Greg Behrendt book He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a great book that revolutionized my dating life, but it’s a stupid premise for a movie. And I hate that they’re doing this.

That said, the cast includes Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Drew Barrymore, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Connelly.

And word on the street is that the two Jennifers did NOT get along well during filming. In fact, Connelly will not appear with the rest of the cast on an upcoming Marie Claire cover, because Aniston reportedly threatened to pull out of the shoot if Connelly participated. (Johansson will not appear, either, as she was apparently unavailable for the shoot.)

According to Life & Style:

Connelly… will not be included in an upcoming cover shoot for Marie Claire magazine that will feature Aniston… and her other co-stars from the October comedy, Drew Barrymore and Ginnifer Goodwin. “Word is, Aniston threatened to pull out if Jennifer was part of the cover,” says an insider familiar with the movie’s shoot. “It was all about getting Jennifer Aniston front and center and looking as sexy as possible.”

So what’s Jen’s beef with [Connelly]? While Aniston’s rep denies that there’s any discord between the actresses, they just didn’t hit it off, says the insider: “There was no camaraderie between those two whatsoever. They didn’t seem like friends in the slightest.”

Aniston’s probably just bitter because Jennifer Connelly has a happy marriage and kids, and Aniston’s stuck trying to get John “Player” Mayer to settle down.

On the heels of initial reports that the two were spotted sharing a meal in Miami, we’re now hearing that they later had an intimate dinner that lasted until 1 a.m.

They had a “cozy” dinner at Casa Tua in Miami Beach, and were spotted holding hands as they returned to their hotel.

Damn.

What do we think of this new pairing, kids?

I asked you guys last month if you still cared about Jennifer Aniston, and the response was an overwhelming yes.

So here she is on the set of Marley and Me, in Miami, with Owen Wilson.

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone wear short overalls with a tank top underneath them since high school, but that’s the costume department’s problem, not Jen’s. And she actually looks cute as a button in them.

Owen looks great, too. It’s good to see him working and seeming happy again.

Brad Pitt already has his own production company. It’s called Plan B Productions. When it was originally founded, Jennifer Aniston was a partner. She split from the company after her marriage to Brad fell apart.

Now Jennifer has her own Plan B. I suppose Plan A was to be married, have a family, and live happily ever after. That didn’t work out so hot, so Jen just founded her own production company with friend Kristin Hahn. It’s called Echo Productions, and they’ve acquired the rights to the British bestseller Getting Rid of Matthew, among other projects.

Who needs a happy marriage or an Ethiopian baby when you can have your own production company?

Yay, women’s lib!

So the photo agency’s all excited about these new! Photos! Of Jennifer! Aniston!

And I’m like “Really?”

She’s not naked or anything. She’s on the set of her new movie, Marley & Me, with Owen Wilson.

I mean, she’s a busy actress still, so she must be a box office draw, but does anyone really care about Jennifer Aniston these days?

I’m asking. Let me know.

Those bastards at People Magazine must never rest. Either that or they’re building a facial identification system the likes of which conspiracy novelists have only dreamed of.

Either way, Jen’s new beau has been revealed. He’s a British model and his name is Paul Sculfor. I should note that the picture is probably a few years back, he’s 36 now.

He’s described as a:

“Lovely guy. A gentleman. Simple things, like opening doors, he does all that. He’ll think of the woman before himself.”

I would be remiss if I didn’t throw the Chinese fortune cookie joke “in bed” after that last comment. But, how hard would it be to treat Jen like a queen? I would do it. She’s a bazillionaire. She’s hot. She seems fairly pleasant given the interviews I’ve seen. I’ve never met her, but I wouldn’t mind, and if we dated I would open the doors - provided she didn’t have servants or ultra cool modern technology doors that opened themselves.

Oh, Paul is in this YouTube clip too, with mermaids. I don’t think it shows much besides his chest but we aim to please here at Beet central.