First of all, I can’t believe PotatO Head had an icky porn star on her show.  Isn’t O too busy scarfing down boxes of Potato Buds leading her most pure and authentic life to be bothered with chicks who work the pole on film?  Doesn’t she have a like, school to build?

Nope, Oprah has been wallowing with the common folk all month — she had Sarah Palin on last week … uh, highest Oprah ratings in the past two years — and yesterday she had Jenna Jameson (though, who hasn’t had Jenna Jameson at some point?) on the show.  Jenna tried to play it like almost all of her porn movies were filmed with her ex-husband Jay Gardina.  Jameson claims that doing porn with her husband is the reason her movies were so popular — you could “see love.”  She’s conveniently forgotten about the seven years of sex on film that she was involved with prior to meeting him.

Listen, this is a celebrity gossip blog — it’s a casual setting ’round here.  I’m not going to bury you with my own personal commentary on the pros and cons of porn.  But when Slut Barbie says, with a completely straight face, that she wanted to be the best porn star in the world and wanted to do her job with “dignity” I’m gonna laugh.  ’Kay?  There’s just no dignity in being famous for your on-film blow job performances.  Watch the video of that portion of the interview here.

Jenna Jameson just posted this pic on her MySpace page. (I really think what Jenna Jameson’s MySpace page is lacking is more pics of Jenna Jemeson.) She just gave birth to TWINS a month ago!

Is it even physically possible for your stomach to look that hot a month after childbirth? I really don’t see how. The tits are way smaller too. If you look closely near her sternum, it almost looks like you can see a scar — is that how they got all the silicon out?

Jenna Jameson has been blogging, peeps.  And she has some advice for the ladies out there who are trying to get pregnant.  Want a quick delivery?  Do tons of dudes crunches!

Yes, I am the lucky mommy of two gorgeous boys… Jesse Jameson and Journey Jette. I spent 2 months in Hoag hospital on bed rest, in order to try to take my twins to term. Well, I came pretty close! 33 weeks was my magic date and I delivered my boys on March 15th. I was blessed with a very easy labor, it lasted about 2 hours. When it came to pushing them out, I truly believe the 500 sit ups a day paid off. I was able to push my 5 pound Jesse out in 5 pushes. Journey who was 4lb 11oz was out in 3 pushes. I loved the whole process of being pregnant and I hope to have another baby someday…. but in the meantime, I’m having a blast with my two little monsters! By the way, Jesse looks like me and Journey looks like Tito! I feel like the luckiest girl ever!!!!!!

Love ya!

JJ

May I be so bold as to suggest that her career, which included intercourse with thousands of over-endowed men and dildos, may have slightly contributed to the fact that her kids came spilling out of her like a clown car routine?

Congrats to Jenna Jameson, who welcomed twins on Monday morning. The two healthy boys walked out of Jenna’s vagina hand-in-hand, waving to their doctors. They then headed out with Charlie Sheen to score pussy.

Jenna Jameson is apparently preggers, which just seems implausible to me, because I figured if the anorexia hadn’t completely destroyed her uterus, the twenty-year parade of huge cocks would have, but I guess I was wrong, because Tito Ortiz has successfully knocked her up. I guess if it can happen to Bones Richie, it can happen to anyone.

This kid is going to be so miserable. Like, pretty much anything anyone says about his mama is going to be true. Any joke that begins with “Yo momma’s such a slut …” will have to end with a nod of begrudging agreement from this child, instead of a left hook. That’s unfortunate.

Normally I’m not super impressed with PETA or their tactics, but this is one of those I-wish-I’d-thought-of-it-first campaigns.

PETA scored Jenna Jameson to star in their new Pleather Yourself campaign — the goal being, of course, to get people to move away from leather and towards pleather.

I swear Jenna is wearing butt padding in this photo. And her hair extensions now have their very own hair extensions. Seriously Jenna Jameson could wipe her padded little butt with those extensions. She looks pretty good, though, considering what she’s been looking like over the past year.

Jenna showed up with Tito to the premiere of Never Back Down, and I’m not going to go so far as to say she looks healthy, but she certainly looks healthier. She looks like she’s gained a few pounds. Not, like, in a she’s-getting-fat-way, just in she’s-15-pounds-away-from-being-able-to-menstruate-again sort of way. She looks okay here. I want you to be okay, Jenna. I don’t know exactly what you’ve been going through this past year, but from the looks of some of your pictures, it’s been rough. So hopefully this set of pictures is a sign that things are looking up for ya, girl.

I guess her vagina just couldn’t take it anymore.

Check out Jenna announcing her retirement from the porn industry.

She got booed. Awwwwwwwkward.

So Mischa pulled out of her hosting gig at CatHouse last night at the last minute — because of, ya know, that whole DUI thing — but they went ahead and opened anyway.

And who the hell needs Mischa Barton when you have Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz???

Also there: Jamie King, who got hitched to director Kyle Newman in November, and who’d sure as hell better be pregnant if she doesn’t want me to talk shit about that weight gain.

Sorry, guys, I’m a little obsessed, especially after this picture.

Here she is with Tito at Body English.

The hair looks great, and I’d kill a homeless man for her stomach, but everything north of the neck … ick!!!

Taking random dudes’ cocks all up in you?

No big deal.

Peeing with the commoners?

For shame!

Sure, she’ll have sex on camera without batting an eye, but Jenna Jameson won’t use a bathroom in front of others. While boxing legend Lennox Lewis gave training tips to Jameson’s boyfriend, Tito Ortiz, at Room Service, the porn star asked to be escorted by security to a private restroom. Later, Jameson dirty-danced for Ortiz before they shared a passionate kiss.

Maybe her vagina’s just so fucked up these days that she has to use a catheter.

At the Marc Bouwer show.

What would you title the Lisa Marie/Jenna Jameson porn flick? Extra points to anyone who works in a Michael Jackson reference.