Jenna Jameson is apparently preggers, which just seems implausible to me, because I figured if the anorexia hadn’t completely destroyed her uterus, the twenty-year parade of huge cocks would have, but I guess I was wrong, because Tito Ortiz has successfully knocked her up. I guess if it can happen to Bones Richie, it can happen to anyone.

This kid is going to be so miserable. Like, pretty much anything anyone says about his mama is going to be true. Any joke that begins with “Yo momma’s such a slut …” will have to end with a nod of begrudging agreement from this child, instead of a left hook. That’s unfortunate.

Normally I’m not super impressed with PETA or their tactics, but this is one of those I-wish-I’d-thought-of-it-first campaigns.

PETA scored Jenna Jameson to star in their new Pleather Yourself campaign — the goal being, of course, to get people to move away from leather and towards pleather.

I swear Jenna is wearing butt padding in this photo. And her hair extensions now have their very own hair extensions. Seriously Jenna Jameson could wipe her padded little butt with those extensions. She looks pretty good, though, considering what she’s been looking like over the past year.

Jenna showed up with Tito to the premiere of Never Back Down, and I’m not going to go so far as to say she looks healthy, but she certainly looks healthier. She looks like she’s gained a few pounds. Not, like, in a she’s-getting-fat-way, just in she’s-15-pounds-away-from-being-able-to-menstruate-again sort of way. She looks okay here. I want you to be okay, Jenna. I don’t know exactly what you’ve been going through this past year, but from the looks of some of your pictures, it’s been rough. So hopefully this set of pictures is a sign that things are looking up for ya, girl.

I guess her vagina just couldn’t take it anymore.

Check out Jenna announcing her retirement from the porn industry.

She got booed. Awwwwwwwkward.

So Mischa pulled out of her hosting gig at CatHouse last night at the last minute — because of, ya know, that whole DUI thing — but they went ahead and opened anyway.

And who the hell needs Mischa Barton when you have Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz???

Also there: Jamie King, who got hitched to director Kyle Newman in November, and who’d sure as hell better be pregnant if she doesn’t want me to talk shit about that weight gain.

Sorry, guys, I’m a little obsessed, especially after this picture.

Here she is with Tito at Body English.

The hair looks great, and I’d kill a homeless man for her stomach, but everything north of the neck … ick!!!

Taking random dudes’ cocks all up in you?

No big deal.

Peeing with the commoners?

For shame!

Sure, she’ll have sex on camera without batting an eye, but Jenna Jameson won’t use a bathroom in front of others. While boxing legend Lennox Lewis gave training tips to Jameson’s boyfriend, Tito Ortiz, at Room Service, the porn star asked to be escorted by security to a private restroom. Later, Jameson dirty-danced for Ortiz before they shared a passionate kiss.

Maybe her vagina’s just so fucked up these days that she has to use a catheter.

At the Marc Bouwer show.

What would you title the Lisa Marie/Jenna Jameson porn flick? Extra points to anyone who works in a Michael Jackson reference.