Okay, guys, I just took a little nap, and now appear to be able to sit upright again, so let’s keep going:

People’s managing editor is talking about why Jayden was taken to the hospital.

He says that in California there is a law stating that if there is an incident at a home involving children, they are required to go to a hospital and get checked for physical and mental issues. In this case, Jayden was cleared of both. Thank God!!!!

“When it was time for Jayden to go visit, get back in the car and go to his dad, Britney did not allow that. She locked herself in a room with Jayden, and that’s when the cops were called,” he told Access Hollywood. “They come in, they get through the door, and they strap Britney down on a gurney.”

The police had a difficult time removing Britney from the locked room, according to Castro. “It’s unclear whether they broke down the door or Britney let them in, but it took a long time for them to get through that door and when they finally got through they saw a disoriented Britney, who hadn’t slept for days, apparently hadn’t eaten for days, and that’s when they decided, ‘Let’s put her in a gurney, she’s under no condition to walk out of here on her own.‘”

Where was the court-appointed monitor during all of this? Wasn’t there some point prior to this where he/she should have been like, “Dude, Britney is more fucked up than usual. I need to get the kids out of here.”

Ms. Spears hit up Robertson for some shopping with little Jayden James in tow.

What’s with the new glasses, Brit? Is this how you’re going to seem responsible now? Running around with reading glasses and children?

It doesn’t work so well when you go do ten shots at Winston’s a few hours later, my dear.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Those diligent cameramen over at X17 finally caught a pic of Jayden James sans his ever-present blanket. You can actually see his face! And he is adorable!!!

Brit-Brit was back to what she does … best? She was at a studio in Hollywood choreographing and dancing, with both her kiddos present. JJ was in the back being held by an assistant, but he slipped into view for a frame or two.

For more pics (although this is the best shot of JJ) and video, check here.

Yup, the Spiderman 3 trailer leaked. Enjoy. [Derek Hail]

TomKat and Suri the Fake Baby (looking fake as can be), arrive in Rome for the contractually mandated wedding of the century. [Glitterati]

Leann Rimes sides with Faith Hill on the whole Carrie-Underwood-sucks issue. Classy. [Tabloid Whore]

Holy crap, stop the presses. Jude and Sienna broke up. For the eight billionth time. I honestly do not remember them getting back together. I’m sure I wrote about it, but I have some sort of Jude-Sienna mental filter that keeps that sort of info from sticking. I’m glad of it. [The Superficial]

This constant stream of Anna Nicole stories makes me want to mix methadone with antidepressants, too. The power company pulled the plug on her place in the Bahamas yesterday. [Allie is Wired]

Vogue doesn’t want pictures of Britney Spears’ baby. Not even for free. Damn. [HGW]

A little treat for the straight guys who stop by on occasion/accident: Alessandra Ambrosia photo explosion over at CelebSlam. [CelebSlam]

Sorry I’m late on this, guys — I decided to take a break from tending to y’all last night to take a stab at a social life. We’ll see how this new experiment goes…

An in-depth review of Britney’s pre-nup shows that she filed for divorce on November 6 for a very good reason: one day later, and she would have had to pay a third year of alimony.

If there is anyone happier about this divorce than the celebrity gossip blogging community, it is, surely, Brit-Brit’s homewreckee, Shar Jackson.

In one more blow to FedEx’s pocketbook, Britney is shopping around pics of Jayden James … for free.

Rumors are circulating that Federline talked about divorcing Britney a month before she filed the papers to divorce him. A likely story.

And, finally, BRITNEY IS BACK IN THE RECORDING STUDIO! Hooray!

In today’s episode of the Anna Nicole is Functionally Retarded Show, we learn that Anna previously tried to convince a wealthy paramour, G. Ben Thompson, that he was the father of her newborn girl. The only hitch in the plan? Thompson had a vasectomy years earlier. Has anybody explained to this woman that there are magical science machines that can determine definitively who a child’s father is? [Fametastic]

Isaiah Washington was supposed to appear on Ellen Wednesday to clear up the allegations that he’s a violent, homophobic jackass, but he canceled at the last minute, citing a change in production schedule. Grey’s less controversial star Katherine Heigl was sent in to diffuse the situation instead. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Not to be outdone by TMZ’s scoop on his birth certificate, X17’s crew hid in the bushes outside the Spears-Federline household for an unspecified amount of time, and now they have video of Jayden James Federline. [CelebSlam]

Entourage creator Doug Ellin has a similarly styled show about Wall Street types in the works. Because i-bankers really are like the movie stars of the east coast, just a little more self-centered and detached from reality. [BankersBall]

Not only has Lindsay Lohan heard of Dick Van Dyke, she also doesn’t think he did a very good job with that whole Mary Poppins project. [Hollywood Gossip Whores]

Pay attention, because I will probably never write these words again, but Paris Hilton actually looks really good in French Vogue. [Teddy and Moo]

Lest you think I have any shame, here are pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal’s man loaf. Don’t worry, he’s wearing pants. He just should have also worn underwear. [A Socialite's Life]

Ever want to know more about the music you hear on television and movies? Drake Lelane’s blog covers the soundtrack of your life (because, if you’re like me, television and movies are your life). Check out what you heard on last week’s Grey’s Anatomy. [thus spake drake]