The lady we’ve been talking about a lot lately (not Kate Gosselin, thank bejeezus), Rihanna stepped out on stage last night at Jay-Z’s LA show and shocked everyone in the audience by not just shutting it down, but performing her new single “Hard” for the first time. The performance was powerful, and even though I am a fairweather Rih fan, I happened to think she killed it. The video quality is crappy, so I’m sure you’ll mainly be listening more than watching, but what do you think of the new single? I thinks she sounds strong and the message of this song is exactly the kinda track you wanna come out with post break-up.

I don’t know about you, but this recession has taught me one thing: If it costs more than five dollars, I can’t afford to eat it. This has forced me to eat many meals at my local taco truck and lots and lots of steamed broccoli (great fiber, you guys), but honestly it hasn’t been that bad. Until today, anyway. That’s when I saw that Bey and Jay are going out and spending 1200 bones on a mid-day meal and leaving behind 500 dollar tips. Damn! Just the thought of that makes me want to go splurge on a seven dollar sandwich and get as crazy as my idols. Pics of the couple dining with who I assume are business partners below…

Ha ha ha ha. JK, you guys, JK. But Rihanna was spotted out with Jay-Z at Katsuya last night. No Chris Brown or Rihanna in sight. They’re obviously not dating, though, and I’m glad Rihanna’s spending some time with someone who I think probably has her best interests in mind.

Mostly, though, I’m running these photos for a single, selfish reason: I HAVE to know what Jay-Z’s shirt says. Can anyone figure it out?

This is actually a very perfect look on her and I don’t really have anything mean to say.

Okay, that’s not entirely true: She needs to get her roots done.

Other than that, this dress highlights her perfect hourglass figure, and I’m actually thinking it would look really good on me, too. I may borrow it later on, B!

Because I forget.  What is it I’m supposed to do tomorrow?  I’m fucking sick of the election and ready for November 5th.  “Vote for Change” has become the equivalent of “whassup” and “that’s hot.”  Entertaining for like two seconds and then annoying for all eternity. 

So here’s the question: Everything I read says Obama is going to win by a landslide.  Does anyone out there think McCain still has a shot? 

Jay-Z, Sean Combs (I refuse to play along with his name changes), Russell Simmons, Jesse Jackson Jr. and Mary J. Blige got together for a Last Chance for Change rally in Miami.  I think that’s the equivalent of a last chance workout on The Biggest Loser  where everyone frenetically starts doing jump tricep bench dips in hopes that it’ll make a difference at the final weigh-in.

Congratulations to Beyonce and Jay-Z, who tied the knot on Friday night at a loft in TriBeCa.

It’s about time! I hope you crazy kids can make it last.

Does this mean a Beyonce baby is soon to come?

After six years of dating in relative peace, Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles have reportedly filed for a marriage license.

They’ve kept their private relationship notoriously private, rarely talking about each other or their relationship in interviews.

The marriage license isn’t the same thing as getting married, obviously, but it’s valid for 60 days should they choose to bite the bullet.

And everything had been going so well before …

The rap mogul has decided to leave his post as the head of Def Jam at the end of the year, when his contract expires.

“Now it’s time for me to take on new challenges,” he said in a statement Monday. “I am pleased to have had the opportunity to build upon the Def Jam legacy.”

Dude this ROCKS. Jay-Z has remixed Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab,” and the results are promising. Ha ha. Pun intended. Listen to a sample of it here.

When Prison Break first aired, I gave it three hours of my life that I will never get back, then gave up. But Wentworth Miller is still way hot, so check out this interview with him. [Gossip or Truth, more]

If you’re anything like the rest of the country, you’ve been waiting ever so anxiously to hear what a recently divorced Juliette Lewis thinks about former boyfriend Brad Pitt. Thanks goodness she’s finally weighed in. [Agent Bedhead]

The Beyonce/Jay-Z shelf life is nearing its end. Maybe they can time the break-up to coincide with the opening of Dreamgirls. Wouldn’t that be nice? [Rhymes with Snitch]

Stylist Rachel Zoe claims Nicole Richie fired her after she “voiced concerns … about her lifestyle.” [PopSugar]

When asked about Hilary Swank, Chad Lowe takes the high road. No pun intended. [celebrity nation]

And just for the hell of it, really cute pics of Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale and their adorable little critter out shopping. [Dirty Laundry]

I have to say I loved Jay-Z a few years back. Before Beyonce, when he was sampling musicals I thought he was at least a litte bit of what the kids call “dope.”

Sadly he’s now very annoying. You can’t shake a stick without hearing him talk about coming out of retirement. If you’re going to retire when you’re in your twenties you better damn well wait a decade to “come back.” And why the hell would a rapper even bother retiring anyway? Just stop putting out albums man, we’ll get it. It’s not like your knees are shot or you need medicare you jerk off.

Even better, he was on Monday Night Football this past week. Wait for the relevance to come to you. Oh wait, there is none. None whatsoever. He’s from Brooklyn so they tried to tread water with the “So, ah, how about them Giants” line but as it turns out he’s a Cowboys fan. I mean gimme a break over here.

Slate.com did me one better though calling the new album his worst ever. He’s been sliding downhill for quite some time, and honestly if I was knocking boots with Beyonce I’d mail in my “art” too.

(Spiteful Lars slams mike down, once again winning the rap-battle)