Because I forget.  What is it I’m supposed to do tomorrow?  I’m fucking sick of the election and ready for November 5th.  “Vote for Change” has become the equivalent of “whassup” and “that’s hot.”  Entertaining for like two seconds and then annoying for all eternity. 

So here’s the question: Everything I read says Obama is going to win by a landslide.  Does anyone out there think McCain still has a shot? 

Jay-Z, Sean Combs (I refuse to play along with his name changes), Russell Simmons, Jesse Jackson Jr. and Mary J. Blige got together for a Last Chance for Change rally in Miami.  I think that’s the equivalent of a last chance workout on The Biggest Loser  where everyone frenetically starts doing jump tricep bench dips in hopes that it’ll make a difference at the final weigh-in.

Congratulations to Beyonce and Jay-Z, who tied the knot on Friday night at a loft in TriBeCa.

It’s about time! I hope you crazy kids can make it last.

Does this mean a Beyonce baby is soon to come?

After six years of dating in relative peace, Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles have reportedly filed for a marriage license.

They’ve kept their private relationship notoriously private, rarely talking about each other or their relationship in interviews.

The marriage license isn’t the same thing as getting married, obviously, but it’s valid for 60 days should they choose to bite the bullet.

And everything had been going so well before …

The rap mogul has decided to leave his post as the head of Def Jam at the end of the year, when his contract expires.

“Now it’s time for me to take on new challenges,” he said in a statement Monday. “I am pleased to have had the opportunity to build upon the Def Jam legacy.”

Dude this ROCKS. Jay-Z has remixed Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab,” and the results are promising. Ha ha. Pun intended. Listen to a sample of it here.

Today in tasteful: unearthed 1986 footage of Michael Richards in blackface. [The Bosh]

When Prison Break first aired, I gave it three hours of my life that I will never get back, then gave up. But Wentworth Miller is still way hot, so check out this interview with him. [Gossip or Truth, more]

If you’re anything like the rest of the country, you’ve been waiting ever so anxiously to hear what a recently divorced Juliette Lewis thinks about former boyfriend Brad Pitt. Thanks goodness she’s finally weighed in. [Agent Bedhead]

The Beyonce/Jay-Z shelf life is nearing its end. Maybe they can time the break-up to coincide with the opening of Dreamgirls. Wouldn’t that be nice? [Rhymes with Snitch]

Stylist Rachel Zoe claims Nicole Richie fired her after she “voiced concerns … about her lifestyle.” [PopSugar]

When asked about Hilary Swank, Chad Lowe takes the high road. No pun intended. [celebrity nation]

And just for the hell of it, really cute pics of Gwen Stefani, Gavin Rossdale and their adorable little critter out shopping. [Dirty Laundry]

I have to say I loved Jay-Z a few years back. Before Beyonce, when he was sampling musicals I thought he was at least a litte bit of what the kids call “dope.”

Sadly he’s now very annoying. You can’t shake a stick without hearing him talk about coming out of retirement. If you’re going to retire when you’re in your twenties you better damn well wait a decade to “come back.” And why the hell would a rapper even bother retiring anyway? Just stop putting out albums man, we’ll get it. It’s not like your knees are shot or you need medicare you jerk off.

Even better, he was on Monday Night Football this past week. Wait for the relevance to come to you. Oh wait, there is none. None whatsoever. He’s from Brooklyn so they tried to tread water with the “So, ah, how about them Giants” line but as it turns out he’s a Cowboys fan. I mean gimme a break over here.

Slate.com did me one better though calling the new album his worst ever. He’s been sliding downhill for quite some time, and honestly if I was knocking boots with Beyonce I’d mail in my “art” too.

(Spiteful Lars slams mike down, once again winning the rap-battle)