Chelsea Handler was on Leno — she mentioned that her father found her to be very sexual and I’m wondering if she was raised by Mitch Winehouse — last night and playing coy.  I love these “talents” that have no problem posing for a snatcherfold but then balk at the reveal.  Please.  Leno had Handler’s December Playboy cover hugely enlarged and hung.  ”Hugely enlarged and hung.”  Didn’t that sound dirty?  Anyway, Chelsea was all like, “Noooooo, nooooo!  I don’t want to see it for the first time on your show.”  Whatever, Chels.  Your twat is public property now.  Public pubes.

Jay is obviously trying to be edgy instead of all Wonder Bread these days and I admit it was the first time he’s made me laugh … ever.  It wasn’t a laugh, even.  A smirk.  It’s the first time he’s ever made me smirk.

I tuned in last night, along with more than 10 million other people, to check out Leno’s new late-night talk show that doesn’t air late-night.  It feels different to have that program format airing before the 11 o’clock news and I wanted to see how it would translate.  I’m lying — I wanted to see what Kanye had to say.  And, you know, I had a tough day yesterday.  I not only had to compliment Beyonce, I had to write about Oprah twice and watch her show yesterday.  I was really looking forward to just chilling out and escaping the stress of my day.  I never expected that Oprah’s huge cranium would be looming before me in a matter of moments, but it was.  I can’t escape that bitch.

Here’s the thing:  I was never a Leno follower, but his “new” show looks and feels almost exactly like his old show.  Jokes?  Still not funny.  Set?  Circa 1989.  Desk?  Gone.  Headlines?  At the end of the show. Don’t believe me?  You can watch the entire episode above.  Adrienne Curry Tweeted that she thought the Obama interview skit was “brilliant”.  Brilliant!

Basically, Leno just wasn’t ready to give up his show so they moved it to 10 o’clock, shuffled some furniture around, and called it “new”.  It makes me wonder — how pissed do you think Conan is?  He waited all those years for Leno to vacate the 11:30 spot as was the agreement, and now he’s still standing in the shadow of Jay Leno’s chin.

The success or failure of this show can never be determined on a premiere night.  People are curious, so they’ll watch for now.  The success of Leno won’t be known until the honeymoon is over.

Billy Crystal appeared on the Tonight Show last night and sang a tribute to host Jay Leno on his second-to-last episode.  In a true example of history coming full circle, Crystal was Leno’s first Tonight Show guest 17 years ago.

Leno will be back on the air in the fall with a new show that airs during primetime — except in Boston.

Arnie sat down with Jay Leno tonight and discussed the California Supreme Court’s decision to uphold Prop 8. “I think they’re going to be back,” he said. “In another year or two they will be back again with another initiative trying to get [gay marriage relegalized]. And you know, eventually it’s going to be overturned, I’m sure of that.”

I’m sure of it too, Arnie!

I attended the rally tonight in Seattle. I posted a bunch of pics from it on my (increasingly boring) personal blog. You can check ‘em out here. We had a fantastic turnout for the rally and the march. I’ve had a lot of people ask me why I, in Washington, was protesting a legal decision in California. I guess I see it less as a Prop 8 rally and more of a civil rights rally — more as a reason to have a civil rights rally. I firmly believe that same-sex marriage is a civil right, and to deny a minority group the right to marry is clear-cut discrimination and a violation of their civil rights. I look forward to seeing a same-sex marriage initiative on the Washington ballot in the near future. I donate monthly to Equal Rights Washington, a group which works to get gay marriage on the ballot here in our state. (Currently, they’re busy battling Referendum 71, which hopes to destroy the domestic partnerships same-sex couples enjoy in Washington. You can learn more about that here.) In everything I do, I try to put my money where my mouth is and, if I’m talking the talk, I better be walking the walk. It’s a standard I’m proud to hold myself to. I encourage you all to do the same with your convictions, whatever they be.

Suicide rates among GLBT teens are exceptionally high. It’s important to keep this issue front-of-mind, and to send a clear message to young gay and lesbian and transgendered people across the country that, despite the crowing from some hateful religious factions, there are many, many people in this country who aren’t interested in judging you based on your sexuality, who are prepared to love you for whomever you are and whomever you choose to love, and who will take time out of their day to fight for you to be accepted.

The crowd tonight — at 5:30 on a workday with only a couple days’ notice — filled the entire plaza outside the Westlake Center. We stopped the traffic as we marched toward Capital Hill. News cameras and photojournalists captured every minute of it. It is important to create that mass. It is important to create that visual. If just one gay teenager sees this footage on the news tonight and thinks to himself, “Wow, I didn’t realize there was so much support for me in this state,” it would have been worth doing 100 times over. It’s why I always encourage you guys to get out and attend these protests. These visuals make a difference in people’s lives. Your body there makes a difference. Get out and get heard.

California will eventually legalize same-sex marriage. As will the rest of the U.S. states. It will happen in my lifetime, and I can’t wait.

I just adore Jay Leno. He’s such a hard worker and such a nice guy. And this story is especially heartwarming. Jay Leno is doing a free comedy show in Ohio, a state that’s been hit particularly hard by the economic crisis.

More than 2,000 people picked up tickets Monday to next month’s free comedy show by Jay Leno, who is bringing his act to southwest Ohio as a morale booster.

People in shorts, sunhats and baseball caps sat in lawn chairs or on the ground to form lines that stretched out from four entrances to the Roberts Centre, where Leno will hold his Comedy Stimulus show May 10.

Penny Tapp, 57, of Highland, arrived about 7 a.m. Monday, more than four hours before the distribution of 4,000 tickets began.

Tapp, who lost her freight delivery job in November, said Leno has a big heart for doing the show.

“It’s like stretching your arms out and hugging the community and saying ‘It’s going to be OK,’” said Tapp, who began to choke up with emotion. “I think it’s tremendously important.”

I just LOVE being able to write a story about something like this. It’s refreshing to see a celebrity do a good deed that doesn’t also reek of being a publicity stunt.

And if you like this story, you should read about the mystery donor who’s been giving millions of dollars to women-run colleges all over the country while remaining completely anonymous to everyone. Another fantastic and heart-warming story (even though I’m secretly pretty sure it’s Bernie Madoff).

Talk about a work ethic!

Jay Leno was taken to the hospital for an undisclosed illness on Thursday, and he had to cancel his appearance on The Tonight Show. It’s the first time he’s missed a taping of the show due to illness since he took over in 1992. Craziness! Can you imagine never taking a sick day in 17 years?

The good news is that Jay is going to be just fine, according to NBC reps. “He was kidding around with the hospital staff and running his monologue jokes by the doctors and the nurses,” they said in a statement. “He’s expected back to work on Monday.”

Get well soon, Jay! And whatever super-virus has attacked you, keep it quarantined!

Hey, remember on Sunday, when Jamie Foxx went off all batshit crazy about Miley Cyrus, the one who “gotta get a gum transplant” and “do some heroin” and “put some crack your pipe”? As of Tuesday afternoon, he had yet to issue an apology, and word on the street was that Papa Cyrus was PISSED. “He thinks Jamie was out of line and didn’t find any humor in it,” said a source. “He doesn’t understand why he would do that to Miley especially since he has teenage daughter himself … Billy Ray isn’t going to say anything publicly because he doesn’t want to this to escalate.”

The actor and comedian has been taking a lot of heat lately for his comments about the 16-year-old, which began when a random caller phoned into his radio show to say that he thought Miley was a bitch.

But when Foxx went on Jay Leno’s show Tuesday night, Leno pushed the issue, and Foxx finally apologized.

“Did you say something inappropriate?” Jay Leno innocently queried of the Oscar winner on Tuesday’s Tonight Show.

“Yeah,” Foxx admitted, taking a few breaths before launching into a full-blown apology.

“I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere,” he began. “I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it. [Big laugh from the audience]. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far.

“I have a radio show…We’re really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously. You know I’m a comedian. You know my heart,” he added, turning to Leno.

Then, looking at the camera, “Miley, I apologize, so I’ll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand.”

What do we think, guys? Apology accepted or no?

I don’t actually live in Boston, but it sounds tonier to say that I do.  I live in the suburbs where tumbleweeds and stray cows frequently pass by.  But on a good day, when the wind blows right, we do get Boston network television.  According to Boston NBC affiliate WHDH, we Massachusettsians will not be seeing Jay Leno this fall in his yet-to-be titled ten o’clock show.  WHDH-TV has been formulating a new news broadcast, slated to be aired in the ten o’clock slot.  Execs at the NBC mother ship have their peacock feathers in a serious ruffle over this.

WHDH’s move is a flagrant violation of the terms of their contract with NBC,” John Eck, NBC TV Network president, said in a statement. “If they persist, we will strip WHDH of its NBC affiliation. We have a number of other strong options in the Boston market, including using our existing broadcast license to launch an NBC-owned and operated station.

Listen, WHDH is eventually going to give in to the master.  But for today, may I revel in my fantasy of massive mandible-free programming?

For the first time ever, Jay Leno interviewed a sitting U.S. President on The Tonight Show. And it’ll probably be the last time, after Obama made his first major PR gaffe as President. Obama said he recently bowled a 129. Leno responded, sarcastically, “Oh, that’s very good, Mr. President.” Obama quipped back with, “It’s like Special Olympics or something,” and then laughed.

At this point, Leno basically freezes. You can tell he realizes that this is an enormous mistake on the part of Obama, and isn’t sure how to handle it. He decides to play along and disregard the comment. If this had been a less beloved President — say, oh, George W. Bush — you better believe Leno would have stopped right there and made a fool of him. But he tried to cover for President Obama as best he could.

Sheesh, even I know better than to make Special Olympics jokes. It’s just one of those things that my brain is hard-wired to stop. Like, I’ll feel one coming out, and my brain is just reflexively like, “No, Beet. No Special Olympics jokes. Those hurt feelings and get us into trouble.” Plus, I find that whenever I want to make a joke about the mentally disabled, I can substitute Lindsay Lohan and the joke still works. It’s a neat trick.

Expect an apology from President Obama’s camp tomorrow.

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Jay Leno isn’t leaving your television anytime soon, kids.

NBC announced Tuesday that Jay will get his own show, five nights a week, at 10 pm, after he leaves the Tonight show next May. He’ll be replaced on late-night by Conan O’Brien.

“A lot of people were shocked,” Leno joked on his show Tuesday night. “They didn’t know NBC still had a prime time.”

No word yet on what kind of show Leno will be doing for the primetime slot.

Check out Jay Leno’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel’s show.