A few hours after being kicked off of I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Daniel Baldwin ranted to reporters about the other stars of the show. I use the terms “celebrity” and “stars” here in the loosest sense possible– like, Kate Gosselin’s hymen level of loose. Surprisingly, the bulk of his rants weren’t directed at The Couple Who Must Not Be Named, but at collagen catastrophe Janice Dickinson.

“Janice Dickinson is undereducated and over-medicated,” fumed Baldwin. “I struggle with people who have that sense of entitlement. Like [The Couple Who Must Not Be Named], she [thinks] being annoying will keep her on the show. She urinated in the camp rather than walk an extra 25 steps, she stole food and lied about it… It’s almost a sociopath’s behavior.”

With that couple, I can definitely believe that it was all an act. After all, they have to do something to keep themselves famous, and like a needy, love-starved 3 year old, they figure any attention is good attention. But with Janice, I don’t know. I think her brand of annoying insanity is 100% organic. In fact, it’s probably the only thing about Janice Dickinson that is natural.

Baldwin also fessed up that the experience was nowhere near as hard as he thought it would be and nowhere near as difficult as some of the others were making it out to be.

“There was food, there were cots under cover, there were [toilets] and showers. I thought I’d have to suck the spider venom out of my brother’s arm. But they even have medics there for that.”

Maybe Janice Dickinson isn’t a big cokehead drunk, after all.  Sure, she staggered down streets swinging accessories at the paparazzi, and yes, she somersaulted down a flight of stairs and verbally abused models, but it could be that she just needed a sandwich.

Janice talked about how to be a successful contestant — she was on the UK version in 2007 and is appearing tonight on the US version – on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here.  “They think this is a game show. It isn’t. It’s arduous. It’s fighting hunger. Since I haven’t eaten in 32 years, it won’t affect me.”

Oh, Janice, so much wasted time.  Think of all the embarrassment and job terminations you could have avoided if only you started consuming.  Calories, that is.

Nothing makes me happier than drunken Janice Dickinson footage. America’s first supermodel appeared on Finland’s version of Next Top Model and I have to tell you, it is worth watching.

Though the entire video of Janice insulting the models is entertaining, the real action on Part 1 starts at the four minute mark when Janice starts downing glasses of red wine and then falls down a flight of stairs.  I’m not kidding you, the models all just peer over the banister and stare at her sprawled out on the floor!  And I totally plan to use my favorite line, “You stupid models!” all. day. long.  I’ve screamed it at my kids a couple of times already.

Part 2 is the apology. Janice explains to the models that she got confused when taking her vitamin supplement and took a sleeping pill by mistake.  That, coupled with champagne (?), caused a reaction.  She also regales them with tales of other high-profile drunken incidents in her career.  Oh, the laughter!

I’d like to offer Janice a helpful hint to avoid future mishaps. Probably the most notable difference between a Vitamin C tablet and cocaine your “sleeping aid” is that you don’t cut Vitamin C with a razor on a mirror.

Sheesh! Can no woman work with Tyra Banks and then have something nice to say about her? After Paulina Porizkova got the boot from her seat on America’s Next Top Model — citing the producers’ claim that she had an “ego problem” — former judge Janice Dickinson is backing her up.

“That’s how Tyra rolls,” she told MTV News. “Tyra rolls like that, she likes to fire people just about when she’s promising them large amounts of money, they get the axe, like I did … then she takes the money and runs.”

Ouch! Them there’s fighting words! Personally, I do think it’s very interesting that the male presences on the show have gone unchanged over the years, but Tyra can’t seem to keep a woman in the fourth judge’s slot for more than a couple cycles. For all her spewing about how women need to support and love one another, rather than being jealous and destructive toward one another, she sure doesn’t seem to be walking the walk.

For real, I’m about to make the most obvious statement you’ve heard all day.  Janice Dickinson is really out of control.

Last night she staggered around outside Nobu, warming the hearts of everyone with her kind and serene ways.  I wish I could have been there.  I totally would have asked for her autograph.  Or if she had coke on her.

She should also mail her two thousand dollars in what would have been court fees right to the paps who strongly advised that she not get behind the wheel of her vehicle.

Video totally NSFW.

Heh heh heh.

You sure do know how to stay relevant, Janice Dickinson.

So I’m talking to my friend Shannon on the phone yesterday evening, and she’s like, “OMG, I just got done playing tennis.” Shannon smokes a pack a day. Shannon dresses in all black. Shannon gets winded when she has to walk up a flight of stairs. I have no idea how she got talked into playing a game of tennis, but my immediate reaction was, “Let’s just slap a sweater vest on you and call you Muffy,” to which she replied, “Hey, Muff, wanna go diving?” It was kind of hilarious.

Anyway.

Everyone eats pussy.

Australian singer Missy Higgins came out of the closet this weekend.

So did Janice Dickinson.

Cute.