My boyfriend, James Franco, is filming several episodes of General Hospital. Frankly, he didn’t discuss it with me beforehand, but you know, I support his artistic choices and I’m pretty sure he has a good reason for doing it. Beside, you know, can’t hurt to bring in a little extra cash t0 redecorate our home in the South of France that we bought together last summer. Love you, James. You look so great.

No such match has made as much sense since the early ’70s — the olden days — when Donny Most and Robby Benson bumped into each other on a street corner.

James Franco, my current fixation, is doing a guest role on the only series that I faithfully watch — 30 Rock.  There haven’t been too many details released on what type of character he’ll be playing, but it will involve a fake romance with Jane Krakowski’s character.  And really, who cares?  It’s James Fucking Franco and he’s going to be on something other than General Hospital.  I’m DVRing his action over on the soap too with plans to fast forward through all the Quartermaine bullshit and slow frame Franco.  Oh. Hell. Yeah.

I cannot lie.  I have a thing for James Franco; I’ve been trying to avoid it because a few people told me that they thought my oldest son looks like James Franco.  So I’m having my fantasies, my Francosies, and all of a sudden my kid’s face pops up out of the blue.  Absolutely.  Horrible.

Anyway, I’ve decided that I don’t think my spawn looks anything like Franco, which frees me up to lick my laptop screen during all four-and-a-half minutes of this video from Funny or Die.  Do I think the video is funny?  Who knows?  Who cares?  It’s James Franco, people!  My attentions are focused elsewhere.

I don’t know how to tell you guys this, so I’m just going to say it:  James Franco has joined the cast of General Hospital and not just for a one-off.  He’ll be on this show this fall in a role that has a “lengthy story arc”.

I’m confused.  I thought the phases of development were supposed to go something like:  waiter, extra, soap star/celebrity game show contestant, movie star.  Franco has been nominated for Golden Globes.  He’s been in movies, good movies.  Now he’s elected to be on a show that once did a story line that involved a weather machine that threatened to freeze everyone on Earth.

Even the EP of GH knows that there’s something wrong with this, stating that it’s “an honor that an actor of Franco’s caliber would choose to spend some of his valuable time in Port Charles.”  Yeah, an honor and a fucking mystery.

Actor James Franco was scheduled to be the commencement speaker at UCLA’s Letters and Science graduation ceremony on June 12th.  Now, if you don’t have a calendar near you, let me inform you that the 12th is one week from this upcoming Saturday — nine days.  And Franco has cancelled his appearance. 

The actor is pleading pre-production obligations.  “I deeply regret not being able to keep my commitment to giving the commencement speech at UCLA’s graduation this year.  Unfortunately the date conflicts with me needing to be on location to begin pre-production on my next film. I wish everyone in the 2009 class the best of luck in all of their future endeavors.”  Really?  Actors aren’t clued in about schedules ahead of time?

Personally, I think he’s just not that into UCLA.  Back in the nineties, Franco attended the university for a year before dropping out (He did return later and complete his degree).

UCLA is scrambling for a replacement.  I was thinking of this gal who just happens to be an alumna of their grad school– what say you?

Here’s a little pick-me-up for those of you who are in crappy moods like I am: the James Franco photo spread from his new interview in GQ.

HOTNESS. Now if we could only get a shot of him climbing out of the pool in a Speedo, Phelps-style. That’s what I need today. James Franco pubic bones. That is what I need today.

And Gawker made the inevitable is-James-Franco-the-new-Heath-Ledger call, and noted that their GQ covers look oddly similar:

If you’re one of those readery types, the full interview is here.

A reporter for the NY Daily News recounts what happened while he was trying to interview James Franco at the after-party for The Pineapple Express, and two attractive women walked up in the middle of it.

Girl: You look familiar.

Franco: I dunno. Have we met?

Girl: I saw you on screen an hour ago.

Franco: On the street?

Girl: No! On the movie screen! You were in the movie we just saw!

Girl 2: I loved it. I’m [Name redacted].

Girl: I’m [Name redacted]. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Franco: Hi. I’m James.

Girl 2: Where are you from?

Franco: Well I’m moving here to New York City very soon …

Publicist (interrupting): You know girls, this is the Daily News right here …

Daily News: Give me two seconds, and then you can tell him everything that you ever wanted to.

Girl (grinning widely): Like all my favorite sexual positions?

Franco (turns to the Daily News and smirks): I’ll borrow your tape recorder for that!

Heh.

James Franco just got way more attractive to me.