I’m highly suspicious of a couple, any couple, when one or both of them spend all their time talking about how much intercourse they have.  I think people who are truly happy together don’t have to constantly be telling everyone how truly happy they are.  Will and Jada Smith are always talking about how they keep their marriage alive by doing it at their friends’ houses and now Jada is back on the Too Damn Much Information plan, by talking about their pre-Oscar tryst with Shape magazine:

“When you have three kids, you’ve got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let’s just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on.”

God, it’s just so much more than I ever needed to know about those two.  Of course, I’ve inspected all the Oscar night pictures and I don’t think they look all that sexed up.  Examples in the gallery for your inspection.

Jada Pinkett has been terrifying Redbook readers by sharing her secrets to keeping her love life alive.  It’s as simple as fornicating in other people’s washrooms.

“Be sneaky… your girlfriend’s house at a party. The bathroom. A bedroom.  Think of places outside that are comfortable to have sex.  Does he have access to his office? Have a fantasy date. Be his secretary!  (Do) anything it takes to keep the flame alive.”

How many of Will and Jada’s friends are having their houses disinfected at this very moment?

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are two of the founders of a new private elementary school in Calabasas called the New Village Academy. The school will incorporate a teaching method developed by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard and employ some teachers who are church members, although students of any religious background will be welcome. Assuming they get accepted and can pay what is sure to be astronomical tuition.

This Hubbard-influenced teaching method is called “study technology.” It focuses on hands-on experience, mastering a subject before moving on and not reading past words students don’t understand.

The curriculum also includes living skills, robotics, yoga, etiquette and technology. The school has a no-sugar policy and encourages parents to limit their children’s television time.

“New Village Academy was born of a simple question, ‘Is it possible to create an educational environment in which children have fun learning?’” says Will. “Jada and I believe the answer is ‘Yes.’”

Anyway, I’m sure Will & Jada are going to take all kinds of shit for using Hubbard’s techniques, but my take on it is this: whatever we’re doing in the school system in this country right now isn’t working. So, while I certainly hope they’ll stop short of bringing any Xenu into the classroom, I applaud them for exploring an alternate approach to early education.

Despite being an outspoken proponent of Obama’s candidacy, Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett-Smith pose with Chelsea Clinton at Elton John’s AIDS Foundation benefit in Windsor.

I guess now that Obama’s the nominee everyone can be friends again.

Wunder-couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith — who have been together for 57 years now — hit up the LA Lakers and Boston Celtics NBA Finals Game 4 in LA.

Okay, you wanna know something funny?

I had no idea the NBA finals were going on right now. And if you had told me, and you’d offered me $1000 to name just one of the teams who were playing, you would have left with all your money. And I’ve been living in Los Angeles for the past five years.

See, this is what happens when you’re single forever. When I had a boyfriend, I knew these things.

I mean, from a height perspective, it would just work better, doncha think?

Tom, Katie, Will and Jada all attended the very first annual Black Women in Hollywood luncheon on Thursday.

And while I’m all about recognizing the work of black women in Hollywood, I also think the surest way to make such an event not about black women in Hollywood is to have Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise there. I mean, I guess it means people like me are writing about it, but, in all honesty, I saw these pics of Tom & Katie and thought to myself, “Hm, I want to use these pictures. Now I just have to figure out a way to involve black people, too, or I’ll take shit for writing about a Black Women in Hollywood luncheon while running a photo of Tom Cruise.” But you know what? That’s what everyone is going to do.

Thoughts?

Well, those two crazy kids actually went and got themselves married. This Saturday, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were joined in holy matrimony at Odescalchi Castle outside of Rome. There were over 150 guests in attendance, including Victoria Beckham, Brooke Shields, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, and Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey.

Katie’s father escorted her down the aisle, and the ceremony was performed at sunset by a Scientology minister (read about traditional Scientology wedding vows here). The wedding party included Cruise’s children, Isabella and Connor, and the best man was Cruise’s best friend, David Miscavige, who also happens to be the head of the Church of Scientology. Katie’s sister, Nancy Blaylock, was her matron of honor. The wedding singer was Matt Lauer. Nah, I’m kidding, it was Andrea Bocelli. I hear there was a light drizzle at the start of the ceremony, but then things cleared up for the couple.

Since I honestly don’t understand enough of these words to paraphrase the description of what Katie wore, I am going to jack it, word for tedious word, from Us Weekly: “Katie wore a fitted Armani off-the-shoulder bridal gown with a train in ivory silk cadis adorned in Valenciennes lace and Swarovski beaded crystal embroidery, featuring a delicate crinoline frill at the shoulders and a silk soleil border around the hem. The gown was complemented by an ivory tulle floor length veil and ivory silk shoes.” If this sounds more like a recipe for a wedding cake to you, too, just check out the pics. For the rest of you fashionistas, People has a run-down of what the entire wedding party wore (summary: everyone’s in Armani). Need more pictures? TMZ has one billion, and Teddy and Moo has the rest.

Tom and Katie left early the next morning for their honeymoon in the Maldives. Where are the Maldives? Apparently they’re an island nation south-west of Sri Lanka. Where is Sri Lanka? Now you’re on your own.