I haven’t gotten around to watching the new Osbournes variety show yet (not that I was ever planning to), but the early reviews are god-awful.

Says Entertainment Weekly:

On The Osbournes: Reloaded, Ozzy, Sharon, Kelly, and Jack were just pathetic. No wonder Fox kept chopping this proposed hour-long “variety show” into an ever-smaller size before airing it. The network is supposed to air five more Reloadeds. Don’t hold your breath. Or maybe, do hold your breath: The stink of this show will last a long time.

Thus far, Fox affiliates in Panama City, Milwaukee, Cincinatti, Knoxville, Kansas City and Utah have elected to either not carry the show or air it after midnight rather than in its suggested post-Idol time slot.

And from the reviews, it sounds like these affiliates aren’t being prudish, the show is just REALLY awful and offensive. But not in a creative and envelope-pushing way, just plain old gross for the sake of being gross.

Fox was originally going to air five more episodes of the show in the fall, but somehow I doubt that’s going to happen at this point. Heads are gonna roll for this at Fox.

So is it over now? Is the Osbournes thing finally over now? Has our national love affair with these people at last signed the divorce papers? Can we, America, please be the strong ones in this relationship, and end it once and for all, so that the Osbournes can heal and move on?

Oh thank heavens. Aaron Carter and Jack Osbourne are feuding. And here I was worried it was going to be another slow news week. [AllieIsWired]

Heather Locklear and David Spade left Mr. Chow’s in the same car, so, as a responsible journalist, I must assume they are dating again. [SplashNews]

YouTube quickly pulled the video of the Kanye West tirade at the MTV Europe VMAs, but Google doesn’t own iFilm yet. Boo-yah. [iFilm]

Daniel Craig is getting rave reviews as the new 007, but it seems he has a bit of a potty mouth. This link also has the long version of the Casino Royale trailer. [The Bosh]

If you weren’t fortunate enough to attend Shanna Moakler’s Las Vegas divorce party in person, you can experience all the emotional health and maturity in these pictures. I hope you get a good, hearty laugh out of them, like I’m sure her children will. [ICYDK]

Don’t stock up on Vaseline just yet — it’s only a rumor thus far — but there is, allegedly, a Scarlett Johansson sex tape in existence, and someone is trying to sell it. [Eluid]

Paris and Nicole pose for their very first pictures as a reunited couple. Nicole’s dyed her hair dark brown — it actually looks nice — and, I could be dreaming, but, based on several pictures I’ve seen of her from this weekend, it looks like she may actually be putting on some weight. Way to go, Nicole! [Rappy's]