Juggling the roles of being the daughter of Donald Trump and the very most qualified Vice President in the Trump Organization is certain to wear a girl out. Ivanka Trump deserves a little relaxation. A little sumpin’-sumpin’, if ya know what I mean, and who better to get it from than that other potent NYC hybrid of nepotism and ambition: New York Observer owner Jared Kushner, 25.

According to Gawker, the two were out bowling last night. “Every now and then they sneaked a kiss,” reports a spy. “They seemed to have been enjoying themselves until we made a big deal of them.”

Awww. How cute.

“Nobody [in the family] is doing anything for the sake of being famous. It’s all for the sake of raising the price per square foot we’re able to get on saleable real estate.”

Oh, Ivanka. You are so impressive. That undergraduate degree in business (only two years of which was actually spent at Wharton) and those zero years of experience undoubtedly qualify you for a vice presidency at Trump. And, if I had any prior doubts about your competency as a mini real-estate mogul, you have totally laid them to rest with all those big business-y words you just used and the haughtiness with which they were most certainly delivered. Also: nice tits.

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I’m just not sure. I’m never sure with him. Check out this video of Andy being forcibly escorted off the set of Jimmy Kimmel’s show after getting a little handsy with Ivanka Trump (who, despite all the shit I talk about her, always manages to come off very classy and artciulate).

Oh hells no! Britney removes K-Fed from her top 12 on MySpace. That’s what you get for writing mean things about her on shower walls, Kevin. [Faded Youth]

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty are turned away from the London world premiere of Casino Royale, after someone very wise determined that perhaps Queen Elizabeth should not share a red carpet with a world-renowned cokehead. [Agent Bedhead]

Madonna confirms that she plans to adopt a baby girl from Malawi, in order to “redress the balance” in her family. Madonna says things like “redress” because she’s British. Oh wait. [Dirty Laundry]

Donald Trump is going to be a grandpa. Sadly, it’s not because Lance Armstrong knocked up Ivanka. [The Bosh]

Madame Tussaud’s unveils the new Ashlee Simpson wax likeness. What’s that? Oh, I’m told that’s actually Ashlee Simpson. [Celebrity Smack]

Okay, so, in college, some friends and I determined that Sexual Misadventures with Kimmy Gibbler would be, hands-down, the best band name ever. My reasons for mentioning this now are twofold. First, it’s still true, and someone should get on that. Second, Bob Saget actually makes reference to sex with Kimmy Gibbler in this clip of his stand-up, where he sings “Danny Tanner Is Not Gay” to the tune of the Backstreet Boys’ “I Want it That Way.” [BWE]

Are you ready to masturbate to sneakers? Reebok sure hopes so. They’ve hired Scarlett to co-create a line of footwear and apparel and star in the ad campaign. [IDLYITW]

Finally! It’s time for the Reese Witherspoon love interest rumors! Up first: Jake Gyllenhaal. [Hollywood Grind]

• Is Ivanka Trump dating Lance Armstong? Probably not, but there’s video of her refusing to answer questions about him, which is kind of like dating, right?
• Were you totally psyched for the remake of Revenge of the Nerds? Don’t be. They cast Kristin Cavallari in it. Bitch ruins everything.
• Britney Spears wants Annie Leibovitz to handle the publicity photos of her latest emotional crutch, Sutton Pierce.
• People who can’t get into Hyde this week: Brandon Davis, Chyna, you.
• ScoJo totally had a nose job.
• It’s official. The Tori Spelling demon spawn is en route. Quick! To the storm shelters!
• Shocker of shockers! Mel Gibson’s post-arrest anti-Semitic comments were not an isolated incident.
• 90210’s Jennie Garth pops out another adorable kid.