Look, I’m not usually one of those “fur is murder BLAAAAARGH” people, but you have to admit that there’s something upsetting about Ivana Trump wearing what essentially amounts to an entire ecosystem. Especially when you consider that she probably spent upwards of $20K to cover herself in all that carcass, and she still couldn’t shell out for a fucking pantsuit that fits. Unless having your jacket buttons stretch and rip against your midsection is what we’re considering fashion-forward these days.

This whole outfit is in such horrid taste. BLARGH.

At Paris Fashion Week.

Ivana Trump announced her separation from her fourth husband just days ago, and last night she showed up at some awards show in Paris, attached to a 22-year-old model named John-David.

Part of me wants to be like “Rock on, Ivana! Don’t let age stop you! It never stops the rich guys!!” But then a part of me, like, really hurts for her, and wishes she’d take some time to figure out whatever the hell it is she’s been looking for in all these marriages.

I mean, I get it, Ivana, I like having sex with male models, too — it’s a lot of fun and it’s a total ego boost — but, Christ, I don’t marry them, or even really take them out in public. Because, as a general rule, the prettier a boy is, the less he’s got to offer in every other aspect of his existence. It’s not a firm law, but it’s a good guideline. Why don’t you take some time for yourself, and then look for a man who’s your own age, and who can appreciate you for all you’ve endured and triumphed over. You have an incredible life story. Find someone who respects that. Because this shit just can’t be healthy.

Ivana Trump announced today that she did, in fact, file separation papers from her fourth husband, Rossano Rubicondi, about three months ago.

“Rossano wants to live in Miami and work in Milan,” she said. “But, I am a New Yorker and my family, friends and businesses are here. As the beautiful song says, ‘Que sera sera!’”

When asked why she was just now announcing the separation, Ivana said — and this is not a joke — that she didn’t want to ruin Rubicondi’s chances as a contestant on the Italian edition of the reality TV show Survivor.

These people’s lives are so surreal.

When I heard that Ivana Trump had married for the fourth time, I really thought it was meant to last.  Nothing says “forever” like a penniless Italian playboy marrying a rich, 24 years older granny.  So to hear the rumors that these two are on the rocks leaves me disheartened.  Sigh…where did it all go wrong?

Ivana’s friends are saying that she and hubby Rossano Rubicondi have been living separate lives since their April wedding that almost didn’t happen.

Extra has obtained a transcript of a phone conversation between Ivana Trump and — who else? — the cops. It was recorded on March 17, less than a month before her wedding, and includes this line: “What’s going on is that I have a boyfriend which I want to leave my home and he called the police before and he’s abusive … He got, he got pissed off and I need him out of this house.”

Ivana and the dispatcher then chat a bit about their dogs, she continues to demand the police show up to remove her abusive boyfriend, and then the cops show up and the call ends.

You can read the whole thing here.

This bodes really well for this marriage.

I’ve only been able to get my hands on one photo from the actual wedding (shown above), but Robin Leach, of all people, was permitted to take some photos of the pre-wedding celebration. Those are below.

Ivana Trump and longtime lover Rossano Rubicondi tied the knot on Saturday, at Donald Trump’s Mar-A-Lago estate.

Not only was The Donald himself in attendance, the ceremony was conducted by his sister, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry.

Ivana and Donald’s sons, Donald and Eric, gave Ivana away, and daughter Ivanka was the maid of honor.

Who else was there?

Why, Kathy and Rick Hilton, of course. Weird.

Ivana Trump reminds us all why, well into her 60s, she gets to marry a 35-year-old hottie and you don’t.

This is such bullshit. Her tits are perkier than mine! But I have a bona fide 25-year-old vagina and I’m still single.

How long until Barron Trump turns 18? Or I’d even take one of those little Hilton boys. Whatever. I’m officially bitter.

We’ve known forever that the original Mrs. Trump was going to get engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Rossano Rubicondi, but the two formally announced it on Monday night.

See, this is the way to live. I want the freaking AP photo service to be there when I announce my engagement. Because then I will know I am important.

Her kids, Donald Jr. and Ivanka, were there to celebrate with her. No sign of The Donald.

The New York Post is reporting that the 58-year-old mother of Ivanka and Donald Jr. is wearing a “ginormous” pink diamond reportedly given to her by her 35-year-old beau, Rossano Rubicondi, who, as best I can tell, is some sort of Z-list actor/model, but feel free to correct me on that. She’s reportedly begun referring to him as her “fiance.” Her rep confirmed the story, stating that “it will be officially announced when she returns from the Mediterranean.”

When asked what he knew about the story, her son, Donald Trump Jr., responded, “You probably know as much as I do.”

Meanwhile, The Donald’s out finding trouble of his own. Responding the recent Lohanigans, Donald offered the following (unsolicited) advice to the struggling starlet:

“Find what you love doing (other than drugs and alcohol), work hard, stay focused, get a new set of parents!”

Lindsay’s mother, Dina Lohan, whose attention really needs to be focused on battling Donald Trump in the press right now, shot back with the folllowing statement:

“Donald, I’m really disappointed in the statement that was brought to my attention from The New York Post. I’ve always had a great admiration for your business sense and I’ve read all your books and learned from them! Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and you will find the truth! Shame on you… so many families suffer from this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions! – Dina and family”