2008 Playmate Of The Year Jayde Nicole has started a cancer charity, Lengths of Love, where playmates donate their hair in an effort to raise cancer awareness.  What the hell was wrong with Locks of Love?  Anyway, Nicole’s claws were out as she explained why Hef’s twin twits can’t participate in the charity:

“The twins (Hef’s new girlfriends) can’t actually donate their hair, the hair used has to be healthy enough to be retreated and not too over-processed,” Nicole told Tarts. “So we’re doing lots of fundraisers and events as well that everyone (including her PMOY predecessor Sara Jean Underwood, Hef’s former flame Holly Madison and his current number one Crystal Harris) can be involved with. Hef is supporting it too; he’s a huge fan of charities.”

I sat.  I read this.  I had only one thought:  “Wait-Is there any playmate who has healthy, not over-processed hair?”

My Fave. Z-lister. Evah, Ranae Shrider, attended the Mardi Gras party at the Playboy mansion, and posted a bunch of pics of Hef with his new girlfriends on her Facebook page. Man, the twins sure do look bored and stoned. And the third girl just looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet.

I also included some pics of Ranae as a thank you. She’s always had a rockin’ bod, but her new face looks damn good! Thank GOD someone in LA found a decent plastic surgeon.

You see those downcast eyes? Despite being surrounded by his favorite food – silicone injected blonde – Hugh Hefner is crying on the inside. 

I bet he could use a dose of Kendra Horse Laugh right about now.

No way!

I thought she wanted that job more than anything in the world!??

Holly Madison has resigned from her job as Playmate editor for Playboy — apparently because she wanted to spend more time with Criss Angel in Vegas. Sources at Playboy says she hasn’t really been doing much work around there recently anyway.

It’s funny — I was watching Girls Next Door last night for the first time in forever. The episode looked like it had been filmed in early-to-mid 2008 (they were casting the 55th anniversary Playmate), and the change in Holly’s attitude toward Hef was so, so obvious. She was traveling for a week on the casting search — she and Hef never would have been apart that long in the past — and Hef kept saying, “Wow, that’s such a long time for you to be gone,” and “I miss you so much” and Holly would just laugh awkwardly. In the past, she would have been like, “Oh, Puffin, this is horrible, I can’t stand to be away so long!” but you could tell she was totally over him even at that point.

Oh, and also, some of the finalists Holly found in that casting search?

Were the Shannon twins he’s dating now.

So, like, basically, Holly brought him his new pussy.

Anyway, I guess I understand this, but Holly was so excited about that job! She was also pretty good at it, as I recall. I guess feelings do change, though.

Does Bridget still have her Playboy radio show?

Hugh Hefner sat down with E! the other day to discuss his three new girlfriends and his three old girlfriends and, per usual, it was nothing short of nauseating.

“The best solution to lost love is new love,” Hef tells E! News in an exclusive interview, joined by Karissa and Kristina Shannon and Crystal Harris.

So how did these three ladies come to join his blondetourage?

Hef reached out to the twins while they were being scouted as Playmates for the magazine’s 55th anniversary issue—they moved in about two weeks after he separated from Holly. As for Crystal, he met her at his annual Halloween party, and after a month together, Hef asked her to move into the Mansion.

And as for why he never married Holly?

Hef also thinks Holly would have been marriage material if he hadn’t already been married twice.

“Those are not the happiest times of my life and I just don’t want to screw up another,” says Hef. “[Holly] had a very good chance because I think she would’ve made a very good wife and will make a good wife to Criss [Angel] or whoever she winds up with.”

Wow, does anyone else find Hugh Hefner talking about “new love” kind of disturbing when he’s referring to girls a fraction of his age who have a record of drug abuse and violence and were just spotted buying weed?

Hooray, new love!

Just call it new pussy, Hef. I think I’d actually respect that more than you trying to convince me you’re in love with any of these tween twats.

The photo agency swears that this pic of Kristina and Karissa Shannon, Hugh Hefner’s new girlfriends, was taken outside of a medical cannabis store in LA.

I’m sure they have a very serious illness and we should all feel sorry for them. I hope they survive.

I’m never surprised anymore when celebs do this.  They spill it all in an interview, only to retract everything once the cocaine wears off.  Just days after the Us Weekly article was released in which Kendra Wilkinson told all about life with Hef, she’s backpedaling.

In a new interview Kendra says, “I’m more upset at myself with what I said.  I’m really bad at interviews, and anyone who knows me knew I meant no harm…I’m a goofball. Mostly, I’m very sorry to have hurt Hef…Playboy made me who I am, and Hef has done more for me than anyone else.  In my heart, I will always love Hef and Playboy.”

She even went to the mansion to personally apologize.  “Hef was hurt, but he understands.  He knows me and knows what came out of the article was not me at all.” 

Translation:  Hef caught wind of the Us Weekly article and was so pissed off that he started shitting Centrum Silvers and Polidents.