When talking about Hef’s exes, it’s virtually impossible to resist the temptation of posting pics of them deep throating a wiener.  Speaking of oral skills, Holly Madison is getting her own show.

I find it difficult to believe that society has been craving a show like this — though I guess we always crave T & A — but prepare because Holly is set to star in Planet Holly.  It will be filmed in Vegas and will center around her life as a burlesque dancer.

“I fell in love with Vegas since moving here. So I want to show a lot of the Vegas few people know about, it’s hidden treasures away from the Strip. Yes, you’ll see my quirky day-to-day life of living in a casino with a dog, but it will show the side of the valley many people never know existed.

“It will have some docu-drama, but it’s the perfect excuse for me to be normal in a lighthearted comedy romp. Think Mary Tyler Moore. In fact, I just hooked up my DVD player so I can look at all the episodes of her old TV show. But Planet Holly also will have an empowering message for women showing that however crazy the ideas you might have, they can be achieved.

“Growing up in Oregon, I had crazy dreams. I’d see Pamela Anderson or Jenny McCarthy on TV and say I’d like to do that, too. I wanted to go off on the adventure. I dreamed of being a sex symbol as a showgirl in Las Vegas — and it all came true! We’ll show that journey on Planet Holly, and I think it will inspire other girls to always follow their dreams — whatever they might be.

“And then dream some more! Just because I‘ve wound up in Peepshow on the Strip, I’m not stopping, and I’ve set myself five more things to achieve in life. I will never stop setting new goals because I’m having fun living life.”

So, hold onto your thongs!  Filming starts October 12th.

What do you think of this glittery, shredded trash bag — how’s that for an objective opinion? — that Holly Madison wore to a Vegas premiere Wednesday night?  I think she was aiming for some sexy, buxom woodland sprite vibe and fell far short.  I wonder if she’s hiding that Travelocity gnome under her dress.  Hmm …

Anyway, what do you think?  Is this spectacular high fashion or Charo in a blender?

I didn’t even know Holly Madison was dating an aged-looking Verne Troyer back with Hef but it looks like they made it official this weekend.  Man, that osteoporosis has hit Hef hard, huh?  He’s shrinking by the minute.  

(Incidentally, this is the type of crap people do when they are sick and tired of all the media attention going to Michael Jackson.

More pictures of the happy couple in the gallery.

Holly Madison came on to the scene as one-third of the Hugh Hefner trifecta.  Sadly, that relationship soured like yesterday’s Milk of Magnesia and she moved on.

She hooked up with magician Criss Angel and I expected a lot more over-exposure from those two than I ended up getting.  Other than their joint birthday party, they weren’t half as obnoxious as I’d been hoping, prior to their love vanishing.  Disappointing, really.

Now, America’s favorite girl next door is hooking up with comedian and admitted sex-addict Russell Brand.  Now, I’m not sure where she fits into the stats.  He claims to penetrate ninety different vaginae a month, yet the Sun reports that he’s been visiting Madison three times a week.  That is just a ton of cardio.

I’m hoping this works out for a couple reasons.  Mostly, because I want to call them RH Factor.  Also, because Holly Madison is descending into scary territory.  If this new relationship flops, I fear her next conquest is going to be, like, Marilyn Manson.  Or Carrot Top.

Thanks, Eve!

Impressing even the most critical of cynics, Audrina Patridge is actually breaking into acting. That should go in quotes. She’s breaking into “acting.” Ceiling-eyed Audrina and her tattooed sister, Casey, hit the red carpet for the release of her straight-to-DVD flick, Into the Blue 2: More Bikinis. (The actual subtitle is The Reef, but you know this shit is just getting promoted as Audrina Patridge wearing next to nothing.)

Also there: Holly Madison, who really ought to avoid any future red-carpet events where she’ll be billed lower than Audrina Patridge, and cutie pie Chris Carmack.

Hugh Hefner continues to wax philosophical about the Girls Next Door.  For real, I don’t think the twins are working out too well for him since his attention still seem so focused on Kendra, Bridget and Holly.  I’m totally over that show, why isn’t he?

In a People interview, Hef says that rebounds are the way to go and marriage, for all intents and purposes, sucks.

About Holly: My conviction has always been, being an romantic, that the best solution for a failed romance is a new romance.

About Bridget: The major problem for her, quite frankly, is that she’s not here a lot. She’s got this wonderful dream job for the Travel Channel (Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches), she’s wandering the globe. We’ll see how that plays out, whether she’s really contemplating making this more serious.

About Kendra: I’ve been very lucky in romance, but not expert in marriage (two divorces).  They are two separate things. What happens traditionally in a marriage is, of course, a marriage turns into parenthood and the affection is kind of transferred to the children. She picked very well, I think he adores her, I think she really loves him. What they have to get over is they come from very different backgrounds. If love conquers all, it’ll conquer them.

Poor Hugh!  I’m more convinced than ever that he hasn’t been taking his Ginkgo biloba for he surely would have remembered that no one cares what he thinks about the girls, their relationships or the weather, for that matter.  The end.

This rumor has been flying around for a couple of days but hey, now that the ever-reputable US magazine says it’s true, it must be.

In addition to US‘ journalistic integrity, Bridget Marquardt let it be known on live television that fellow bunny Holly Madison is set to replace the injured Jewel on the season opener of Dancing With The Stars, March 9th. Marquardt said on Fox’s Strategy Room “I’m so excited for her.  She’s wanted to do it for so long.  It just never worked with her schedule and Hef was always like ‘I don’t want you to do that,’ and now it’s her time, so I’m really happy for her.”

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