Here’s Chelsea Clinton at the GLBT Gayboorhood Pub Crawl in Philadelphia, supporting Hillary’s run for President.

It’s awesome that they sent Chelsea out to support this event. It’s cool to see the daughter of a Presidential candidate sporting an LGBT sticker at a campaign event, and it indicates that we’ve come a long way in terms of public support for gay rights.

Still, it would have been even cooler to have Hillary there wearing that sticker. We have plenty of room to grow, I suppose.

“I was worried I wasn’t going to make it — I was pinned down by sniper fire at the Burbank airport,” she says about 30 seconds in.

I actually think Hillary Clinton probably does have a great sense of humor. But comedic timing and delivery isn’t really her forte. It’s cute that she’s trying, though. I think it actually accomplishes the goal she has in mind — to humanize Hillary Clinton in the minds of the American voters — but not in the way she intended. Instead of being like, “Oh my gosh, Hillary Clinton is so funny, I had no idea,” I’m like, “Oh my gosh, Hillary Clinton is bad at something. How cute is that!” It’s like in My Best Friend’s Wedding when Cameron Diaz gets up to sing and she’s just so damn horrible but the whole thing actually makes you like her more? Hillary Clinton’s jokes are like Cameron Diaz’s bad singing.

Senator Hilary Clinton has challenged Barack Obama to a bowl-off. Winner take all.

Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.

And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.

OMG.

Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.

Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

Seriously?

And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.

Hillary Clinton won the all-important democratic primaries in Texas and Ohio on Tuesday.

And Mike Huckabee swept the Republican vote. Nah, I’m kidding, McCain won Texas and Huckabee’s ass finally dropped out.

It’s anyone’s game still, kids.

Celebs are coming out en masse to make it clear that Barack Obama is not the only Hollywood candidate.

Eva Longoria spoke on Monday at a Town Hall meeting in Texas to support Hillary Clinton.

“As a native of Texas, I know our state and our nation face big challenges ahead of us,” she said. “Hillary has proven she has the strength and experience to deliver the change we need.”

The Texas primary is taking place today. I tried really hard (well, for at least five minutes) to find exit polling data to report to you guys, but I got really confused really fast. Does anyone know who’s ahead right now in Texas?

If I’m going to run that Barack Obama “Yes We Can” video, it’s only fair I give Hillary her chance to be endorsed by random celebs.

I guess all that’s left is for a celebrity to make a John McCain ad. We’re waiting, Hollywood.

Check out Hillary Clinton on SNL this weekend. This is the short version. The long version is after the jump.

Check out Hillary Clinton on Tyra.

For more details on this awful turn of events, jump in.

From CNN:

Two people held hostage at Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in Rochester, New Hampshire, have been freed.

Neither hostage was harmed, CNN affiliate WCVB reported on its Web site.

It is not known who else is inside the office, WMUR, another affiliate, reported.

A man walked into the office at about 1 p.m., Maj. Michael Hambrook of the New Hampshire State Police told CNN affiliate WMUR-TV. Video Watch police take up positions »

Hambrook and Clinton campaign officials said two people were believed to be inside at the time.

Shortly before 2 p.m., police officers were gathered across the street from the office, some kneeling behind police cruisers with guns drawn. See the location of the office »

Witnesses described the man as in his 40s with salt-and-pepper hair, WMUR reported. It is believed he was still inside the Clinton office at 3:20 p.m.

Other people were caught up at the start of the hostage situation.

A woman with a baby was released by the hostage-taker early on, she told a witness, Lettie Tzizik, who spoke to WMUR.

“A young woman with a 6-month or 8-month-old infant came rushing into the store just in tears, and she said, ‘You need to call 911. A man has just walked into the Clinton office, opened his coat and showed us a bomb strapped to his chest with duct tape,’ ” the Web site reported.

Bill Shaheen, chairman of Clinton’s New Hampshire campaign, told WMUR the people held were volunteers.

Clinton, a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination, is in the Washington area.

She was scheduled to speak at 3 p.m. at a Democratic National Committee event, but canceled the talk because of the situation, DNC Chairman Howard Dean said. Video Watch Dean break the news »

“Unfortunately as some of you know, there is a hostage situation in New Hampshire involving a Clinton campaign staff person,” Dean told those who had gathered for the event.

“The details are sketchy at this time, but understandably Sen. Clinton is now dealing with this very difficult problem and she is not going to be able to join us today. And we will keep them in our prayers and hope for a resolution to this situation in New Hampshire.”

Buildings close to the storefront campaign office on Main Street were evacuated, including local campaign centers for Clinton’s Democratic presidential rivals, Sen. Barack Obama and former Sen. John Edwards.

Cassandra Hamilton, who works in an office adjacent to the Clinton office, told WMUR: “I walked out and I immediately started running, and I saw that the road was blocked off. They told me run and keep going.”

From Page Six:

THE anticipated presence of Chelsea Clinton and her parents at an Oct. 27 wedding in Washington, D.C., has the planners in a tizzy. Chelsea’s childhood best friend, Nicole Davison, is marrying hedge-fund analyst Michael Fox. Chelsea, the maid of honor, will be there with her parents. Guests are being warned not to bother Bill and Hillary Clinton. When the ex-president hosted the couple’s engagement party at his Chappaqua home, some guests were told to be on their “best behavior” and avoid talking to the family about inappropriate topics.

Um, Bill Clinton? Will you please host my engagement party, too? I just think it would be fun. And expensive. I promise I’ll be nice to Chelsea and not make fun of her for having to spend her most awkward years in the White House.

The Democratic senator was John Kerry’s running mate during his unsuccessful bid for the presidency in 2004.

We’re still waiting to hear formally from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Stay tuned.