Gossip Girl’s Michelle Trachtenberg was one of many celebs that showed last night for the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.  She really should have considered a pantsuit.  Or a maxi-dress.  Are those still in?  She’s got big tree trunks…what can I tell ya?  Normally I’d think that she’s probably a nice girl which completely trumps being big-kneed but in this case I don’t think her personality wins any points.  Who goes to the VS Fashion Show and can’t put on some lip plumper?  Wait-maybe she thought the tube said “leg plumper”…hmmm…

There were lots of other interesting people that were there but not together (that’s code for “formerly fucked”) like Sean Combs and Aubrey O’Day (I’m convinced they did the deed because he does like…everyone) and Brody Jenner, Paris Hilton and Kristin Cavallari. 

Every year is the same goddamn thing for this show.  Here’s the gist:  wings, feathers, boobs, $5M bra, tanner, body glitter, hard-ons, feathers, leather, Heidi Klum’s inflated sense of self-importance.  We get it Heidi; you’re head Angel.

Please make sure you look at Shakara on the pink (gag) carpet.  I’ll put her right near the top of the massive gallery.  “Who is Shakara?” you say…I don’t know.  No one knows.  A model.  And the fucking funniest wardrobe choices I’ve ever seen.  She has found a way to wear schizophrenia.

When you pose next to yourself… you’re going to come up short.

This is her promoting some new bottled water or something. I don’t know - I can’t be bothered with the facts of the matter.

Heidi Klum reminds us all that being the oldest Victoria’s Secret Angel doesn’t mean she can’t still rock some ass crack.

Looking hot, Heids.

“I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow. And I pretty much saw everything. The whole package.”

Heidi Klum, to Oprah Winfrey, about meeting husband Seal for the first time when he was wearing bicycle shorts.

See, boys? It doesn’t matter how (literally) tore-up your face is if you’re packing.

Project Runway host Heidi Klum and husband Seal sent their latest creation down that fabulous runway of life on Tuesday. (Look, just be grateful I didn’t make the runway/birth canal parallel I was trying for originally.) Klum (well, Seal) made the announcement on her website:

TO OUR CHILDREN, A BROTHER TO OUR PARENTS, A GRANDSON TO MY WIFE AND I, A SON TO OUR FAMiLY, A BLESSING JOHAN RILEY FYODOR TAIWO SAMUEL WAS BORN AN 11/22/06 AT 17:01 in L.A. WEIGHING 8 LBS 11 OUNCES. HE IS HEALTHY, BEAUTIFUL AND LOOKS JUST LIKE HIS MOTHER.

Klum and Seal have another son, Henry Guenther Ademola Dashtu Damuel, age one. Klum also has a two-year-old daughter, Leni, from a previous relationship.

Also, as of this morning, Pluto is no longer a planet. A bunch of scientists who are way smarter than you are took a week off from pursuing passing fancies like curing cancer to bicker red-facedly in Prague over this matter. From Yahoo news:

Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell — a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings — urged those who might be “quite disappointed” to look on the bright side. “It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called ‘planet’ under which the dwarf planets exist,” she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella.

AHHHH HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Ha ha ha ha!!! HA Ha. Ha. Haa!!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha!

Heeeeeeeee!

Ahhhh.

Hang on let me catch my breath.

My God Heidi Klum is hot.