“Sadly, you have to mix at a certain level of people to raise the level of funds you need to bring about the greater good. Because people are very snobby. These people who have lots of money, they’re either snobby or they’re stingy. If you have lots of money, you have to be stingy — because why would you want that amount of money? … If you look at every single person in the history of the world who has tried to make a difference, you’ll find a very long section of their lives where they were treated horrifically by the government or by the media.”

Heather Mills.

Yeah, seriously, Heather, why would anyone want to have a lot of money? I mean, why would anyone do anything so stressful as a years-long divorce battle in the courts and the media just to have tons of money? That would be insane. Unimaginable.

Heather Mills McFugly promotes her new environmental campaign in London.

I’m all for helping the environment.

But I’m so against ugly.

After her fat settlement from Paul McCartney, it seems like Heather Mills doesn’t much care about paying parking tickets. According to Page Six:

HEATHER Mills has been hell on wheels in East Hampton. Paul McCartney’s estranged wife, who’s renting Nora Ephron and Nick Pileggi’s mansion in the Georgica Pond area, has been racking up parking tickets in her rented Bentley convertible. “She’s parking in front of fire hydrants and in handicapped zones without a handicapped tag,” a source tells The Post’s Braden Keil. The peg-legged “Dancing With the Stars” hoofer recently showed an unimpressed town cop her prosthesis while he was writing up her white gas-guzzler. She was then photographed sticking her tongue out at him as soon as he turned his back.

This is totally me. I am the queen of parking tickets (and speeding tickets, and red-light tickets, and stop-sign tickets, etc…). Unfortunately, I didn’t marry a Beatle, so I actually have to worry about how I’m gonna pay them.

For a reported $100 million.

That sum includes a $40M lump sum payment, and around $5M a year in child support until little Beatrice turns 18. Why on earth does Beatrice need $5 mil a year, you ask? For the cocaine habit, silly. I mean, she’ll be 12 before you know it.

I need to find me a Beatle to marry.

I think she proved stereotypes shouldn’t be blah blah blah.

And now she’s adiosed. She rides the bye-bye train out of Dancing With The Starsville.

The reason: She wasn’t as good a dancer as the rest. Plus, technically, she’s not a star.

If anyone knows what it feels like to have an entire country gang up on you, it’s Heather Mills. So perhaps it’s no surprise that she came to Alec Baldwin’s defense on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show this morning. Seacrest asked the Dancing with the Stars contestant what her thoughts were on Baldwin’s most regrettable voicemail ever. “It is wrong to speak to your daughter like that,” she said, “but I am not someone to go, ‘Ooh, that is terrible, and we are all perfect, it’s all wonderful.’”

“I would never speak to my daughter like that, but what you have got to remember is that his daughter lives with Kim [Basinger, Baldwin's ex-wife], and we have no idea what goes [on] behind closed doors,” she continued. “I respect Kim, I respect Alec for his incredible Animal Rights Campaign, and we have no idea what’s going on … You know when you love somebody and it is your only child, people lose it. Forgive him. Don’t throw stones at glass houses. We are not here to judge and criticize what other people do unless you are a saint. And none of us are a saint.”

Basinger was photographed this weekend out in L.A. with daughter/rude, thoughtless little pig Ireland, and a bodyguard who may or may not be Philip Banks. Pics after the jump.

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I know this is in poor taste, but Heather Mills keeps talking about her leg falling off when she is competing in “Dancing With the Stars” and it keeps making me laugh.

Talking with Extra, Mills said, “It’s very very unlikely my leg’s going to fly off even though it would be quite funny to knock one of the judges out.”

Because of all of this leg talk, www.bodog.com has started to take bets on if the leg will or will not fall off in competition. They made “no” a heavy favorite and the rules stipulate that the leg “must fall off, not be purposely taken off, during a dance routine for all Yes wagers to be graded a win.”

Omg! Can you even imagine if she took her leg off on purpose during a dance? It is going to be interesting to see how long she lasts on the show. I don’t know if she is too popular with Beatles fans but I think she is a great role model for those who are disabled. If she dances well, she will be able to show those out there who are suffering from disabilities like hers that they too can ballroom dance.

I’m glad she’s allowed us to laugh at this, because otherwise, if her leg did fall off and it gave me a chuckle I would feel really bad.