Extra has the 911 call that resulted in Heather Locklear’s DUI arrest. Check it out here.

It’s an interesting listen.

Anyone who thinks she maybe took one or two too many Vicodin is probably just being wishful.

It sounds like Heather was trashed.

Says Janet Charlton:

According to acquaintances, Heather has been abusing prescription painkillers every day for around 20 years. Specifically vicodin. This kind of long term pill popping can easily lead to kidney damage and the need for dialysis. One of her exboyfriends is hooked on the same pills so they had a great time while it lasted. Obviously, Heather’s recent aborted attempt at rehab where she claimed it was for “depression,” didn’t help at all. It makes one rethink the possible causes for her divorce from Richie Sambora. Heather is well liked in Hollywood and everyone hopes she’ll finally get a grip on this problem.

Dude a bottle of Vicodin sounds damn good to me right about now. I’m super grumpy and I can’t figure out why. I’m just a grumpster. It’s been a stressful day. I told you guys about the Dell drama last night, and then this morning I thought my health insurance had expired without my knowledge (it hadn’t, it just got transferred to a different company, but it took my all day to figure that out and in the meantime I was trying to figure out how the hell to get health insurance, like, NOW) and then Leo had to go get tested for heartworm (he’s fine, the vet just called with the results) and my new health insurance provider will only cover prescriptions if I order them from some stupid online pharmacy that needs like a whole special fancy order form faxed in by my doctor and, like, I can’t even remember who prescribes my birth control these days so I have no idea how I’m going to get that dealt with and my car needs emissions testing and there are only like four places in the county that do it, none of which are close to where I live, and I didn’t sleep well last night and am exhausted.

Oh and also the economy’s totally collapsing and I need to go to the store and stock up on bottled water and the like to prep for the apocalypse.

Oh and ALSO what’s up with no new House tonight? Someone explain that BULLSHIT to me, stat.

I think it’s my nap time. If someone wants to stop by my apartment with chocolate bars, that would be nice, too. Because I totally don’t have a good drug hook-up in Seattle, so I’m gonna have to rely on chocolate for now.

First off, she wasn’t drinking.

Authorities are still waiting on the results of other tests.

The person who reported the incident said she saw a woman who was visibly impaired, later identified to be Locklear, getting into a car in a Montecito parking lot Saturday afternoon about 4:30, Marshall said.

Locklear showed bizarre behavior, driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses on the pavement and revving her engine. After leaving the parking lot, she stopped her car on the street and stumbled into the traffic lane, according to the caller, who followed Locklear out of concern, Marshall said.

When the CHP officer arrived, Locklear’s car was parked on State Route 192 partially blocking a lane, Marshall said. The officer talked to her and determined that she was disoriented and “under the influence of something.” She was taken to the CHP’s Santa Barbara-area office to be tested for alcohol and drugs.

Locklear tested negative for alcohol. Other drug tests will be returned in a few days, Marshall said.

Hm. She was visibly impaired, but she hadn’t been drinking.

Soooo … are we talking weed? Cocaine? Vicodin?

Or was little Heather Locklear into something a little bit harder?

Can’t wait to find out!

Well, that didn’t take long.

Somebody’s headed back to rehab.

Heather Locklear was arrested on DUI in Santa Barbara on Sunday.

Locklear, 47, was pulled over by a California Highway Patrol officer Saturday afternoon after a resident reported seeing the actress leaving a parking lot and “driving erratically,” patrol spokesman Tom Marshall said.

The officer noticed Locklear’s car parked on a state highway and blocking a lane in Montecito, a wealthy community about 90 miles northwest of Los Angeles. She was believed to be alone in the car, Marshall said.

“In talking with her, (the officer) determines that she seems to be under the influence of something,” Marshall said.

Locklear was taken to the police station, where she was tested for alcohol and drugs. She was booked at 7 p.m. on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription medication. She was later released from custody.

Wow, this does not sound good at all.

Hopefully Heather can get the help she needs.

Heather’s finally been sprung from the Arizona facility where she was being treated for “anxiety and depression” (and, if you believe the rumors, a little bit of drug and alcohol abuse).

“Heather’s feeling really great,” says a close friend. “And she looks beautiful, just radiant.”

We’re rooting for you, Heather!!!

Heather Locklear has checked herself into an Arizona facility to deal with “anxiety and depression.” And probably alcoholism, too, as it’s been rumored she struggled with drug and alcohol abuse for a long time now.

“Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment,” says Locklear’s rep, Cece Yorke. “This is a confidential medical matter and no further statement will be released.”

We wish you all the best, Heather!!!

From the hot boys over at The Pen15 Club:

“Having Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House is going to have the same impact on Congress that Heather Locklear’s addition did to Melrose Place.”