OMG. This chick is soooo annoying.

I understand that post-partum depression is a very real and serious illness that affects women of all walks of life. I understand the importance of both diagnosing and treating it.

What I don’t understand is why Gwyneth Paltrow thinks her post-partum depression, with second child Moses, was the result of “scaling back on her usual pre-baby treatments like acupuncture.”

Sigh.

We’ve finally isolated the root of post-partum depression!

NOT ENOUGH ACUPUNCTURE!!!

So if you’re one of those poor, tragic souls who can’t afford regular acupuncture treatment while simultaneously juggling the costs of pre-natal check-ups, sonograms, diapers, cribs, toys, baby food and your pre-existing children, you’re pretty much fucked. Sorry.

Our two favorite British wannabes, Gwyneth Paltow and Madonna, leave a London gym together.

I can just imagine their chats on the stairclimber:

Madge: Oh, dahhhling, London is just seeeew gaaaaaaaahgeous.

Gwyn: Yaaays. I simply adooooore this city in the springtime.

Madge: I recall my childhood here in London, skipping up and down the cobblestones and frolicking in the paaaaahk.

Gwyn: Weren’t you born in Detroit?

Madge: Lies. All lies.

Anyway. Check out Madge’s pants. They’re either drenched with sweat, pee or rain. Or a combination.

“We might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I’m a New York girl.”

Gwyneth Paltrow, on she and hubby Chris Martin possibly adopting a baby.

Gwyneth Paltrow rocks the pigtail braids in NYC today.

Bad day for Gwyneth Paltrow, who was admitted to New York’s Mount Sinai Hospital on Monday afternoon for an undisclosed reason.

She was slumped over in a wheelchair and being pushed by husband and Coldplay singer Chris Martin when she arrived at the hospital. Later that day, a bag labeled “Gwyneth Martin” arrived from the NYC health food store Organics Avenue.

Perhaps her macrobiotic diet is to blame? “She’s doing our five-day live-food fast,” a store employee tells New York magazine’s Daily Intelligencer .

But she’s not fasting fasting. “She’s eating salads, there’s juices. There’s actually quite a bit of food there, it’s just all raw and organic.”

Guesses?

Gwyneth Paltrow and her hubby, Chris Martin, haven’t been seen photographed together in months.

When asked about the rumors of an impending split, Paltrow’s rep said they “are absolutely not true. They have been completely together and barely separated. Chris was with her in Los Angeles during the shooting of ‘Iron Man,’ and then with her in the Hamptons during the summer, and in London for September and October. She’s been in New York for the past week, but he is joining him soon in a few days. This stems from the fact that both Chris and Gwyneth make a deliberate effort not to be photographed together. She does not take him to any events where there will be press - or if she does, they enter separately. It is their policy not to put their relationship out there for public consumption.”

My, my, my.

A simple “not true” would have sufficed, darling.

And, perhaps more pressingly, does anyone care if she is?

Paltrow, that chick who used to be in movies that didn’t suck, is married to Chris Martin, that dude from that band you used to listen to. The couple haven’t been seen together in months, although Gwyneth recently told a fan that “just because he’s not here doesn’t mean we’re divorcing.”

But sources close to Paltrow say she rarely talks about her husband, and, when she does, she is “vague and unenthusiastic.” The couple have two children together, Apple and Moses.

More here.

Gwyneth Paltrow responded today to reports that she gave a Portuguese newspaper a quote that “the British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.”

Says Paltrow: “I felt so upset to be completely misconstrued and I never, ever would have said that. I definitely did not say that I think the British are more intelligent and civilized than Americans. I am a New York girl, that’s how I always think of myself and see myself.”

Paltrow denies giving an interview specifically to the Portuguese paper, although she did give a press conference — in Spanish — for an endorsement she did in Spain. “Obviously I need to go back to seventh-grade Spanish!” quips Paltrow.

Update: Ha! The ever-worldly Evil T just emailed me to remind me that they don’t speak Spanish in Portugal. Hee hee, maybe Gwyneth needs to go back to seventh-grade social studies instead. I should probably go with her.

UpdateUpdate: In fairness, perhaps the writing staff of that Portuguese daily needs to brush up on their Spanish. Or, you know, stop fabricating stories.

Admittedly, this is a quote of an alleged quote from CelebBitchy.com but it sounds to me like vintage Paltrow. On living in jolly old England she’s rumored to have opined:

“I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans,” the 34-year-old added.”

CelebBitchy says they’d be surprised if it was an accurate quote but I sure as hell wouldn’t be. Her Imdb page is littered with pro-Brit anti-American stuff. Which, let’s face it, is fine. She married Coldplay and she lives there. She’s living her silly quotes unlike most of the celeb world.