RadarOnline is reporting that Gisele Bundchen is expecting a little quarterback or cheerleader.  Not surprising, actually.  You know Gisele is going to have about five kids in less than seven years, at least one set of twins, all whilst maintaining her size zero figure.  Perfection is such a drag.

Let’s think about this:  When Brangelina announced that they went into the lab and had created a DNA hybrid named Shiloh, I couldn’t fathom a more perfect mix could exist — until now.  Can you imagine what this child will look like?  It’s clear that the kid will probably be about five feet tall at birth.

This will be Tom’s second child.  He has an almost two-year-old with Bridget Moynihan.  Come to think of it, this will also be a second child for Gisele since she considers Tom and Bridget’s kid to feel like her own.

Congrats to the happy, genetically blessed, slightly annoying couple!

Oh what fun!

FUN FUN FUN!

Gisele Bundchen’s on her honeymoon with Tom Brady in Vancouver. Why would people with all the money in the world go on honeymoon in Vancouver and not, say, Fiji? Well, because Bridget Moynahan is filming a movie there, and I assume she’s got custody of that kid something like 95% of the time, and you better believe she enforces that mess. But for the two hours of the day that Tom has little John in his custody, he and Gisele made damn sure the photogs got snaps of them being such good parents.

I’ll reiterate exactly what Bridget planted in the press last month: You never see pictures of her with that baby. And whenever Tom and Gisele have the baby, the photogs are somehow right there and ready to snap away. Coincidence? No.

They’re so in love that they got married twice. Now that’s devotion.

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen exchanged vows in a short sunset ceremony at her home in Costa Rica early Saturday evening, PEOPLE has learned. The bride, in a long designer dress and a veil that trailed 10 feet, and holding a bouquet of white orchids, “looked so gorgeous,” a source tells PEOPLE. “She looked beautiful.”

Security guards blocked off key access points to Bündchen’s house in Santa Teresa, where 25 or so guests gathered under a tent set up on the home’s balcony.

After the ceremony, Brady, 31, in a gray suit and vest with white pants, held his 1 ½-year-old son John on the balcony and spoke with guests like Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots. Bündchen, 28, also hugged guests while friends and relatives snapped photos.

Eh, I’m so bored of the story of these two. I’m done with the lovey-dovey and I’m ready for them to go down in flames. I’m ready to find out that she’s cheating on him with Leonardo DiCaprio. (Wow, now that’s a name I haven’t typed out in awhile — what happened to that dude?) When I read that Gisele had a 10-foot train, my first thought was, “Oooh, I wish she’d tripped on it!”

Bridget Moynahan and I should totally do lunch.

Bridget Moynahan has been verrrrrry quiet in recent years, as Gisele Bundchen parades about the world carrying her child and giving stupid quotes to magazines about how she considers the child her own. Props to Bridget for that. However, she’s not above letting her “friends” “leak” some quotes about all this nonsense.

A source close to the 37-year-old model-actress [says], “Bridget has her own life, she doesn’t need to be involved in the drama of all this, and she finds it disrespectful that her son is being paraded around in front of the paparazzi when she’s specifically made it a point of keeping him away from that.”

The source went on to say pointedly, “I can count on two hands, in two years, the number of times Bridget has been photographed with that baby. I can count on two hands the number of times in the past month that Gisele has been photographed with that baby.”

In an even more personal attack, the source said, “If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he’d respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion.”

Damn! But it’s true. I personally am a little nauseated when I see Gisele toting around that little boy for the cameras. I’m glad that she’s bonding with him — obviously a child deserves as much love as he can get — but in front of the cameras, and the way she talks about him in interviews, is really, really annoying. I can’t even imagine how mad it makes Bridget. Kick her ass, Bridget!!!

Bridget Moynahan is pissed about Gisele Bundchen’s “The Boy Is Mine,” statement in May’s Vanity Fair.  She’s not letting on though; she’s letting her friends do all the talking.

One of her close friends, who you know was totally reading off index cards that Bridget wrote out for her, said, “If Gisele loved Bridget’s child like he was ‘100 percent her own,’ then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom’s virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever.  Don’t you think Jack will grow up and read her comments and find them disrespectful to him and his mother? If Tom is such a great father as everyone likes to say, then you would think that he’d respect the privacy of his young child and would ask his wife not to use his son as a publicity prop and a subject of public discussion. Is she is so desperate for attention that she can’t find anything more productive to talk about other than Bridget’s child?”

Personally, I couldn’t get past the part where Gisele called Tom and Bridget’s son “it.”  As in, “I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent.”  As a mother, I am here to tell you that the only time you call your kid “it” is when you are pregnant and they have just made you puke for the sixth time before noon.  Once born, calling your child “it” is considered somewhat declasse.

“I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day.  He’s a little angel – the sweetest, most cuddly, loving baby. I feel blessed to have him in my life.”

Gisele Bundchen, wife of Tom Brady and apparently also mother of his son, in Vanity Fair’s May, 2009 issue.

Note to GB:  Unless you’ve got some stretchmarks to share, you’ve pushed a human head out of your pelvis and have the videotape to prove it, or have adoption papers stating otherwise, the kid is not your son.

Team Bridget!

On Thursday, Tom Brady married the woman he left his pregnant girlfriend for, Gisele Bundchen. It was thoughtful of them to not make their wedding a gigantic press circus, but I feel compelled to continually remind everyone that Bridget Moynahan was pregnant when Tom Brady ditched her for a supermodel.

The bride, 28, donned a form-fitting ivory lace strapless gown with a trumpet skirt, scalloped edges, long train and a floor-length veil with attached handmade satin roses and attached satin headband, all by Dolce & Gabbana. Her three dogs also wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars …

The ceremony — which began at dusk — was “very small and intimate,” a source tells Us, adding that guests mostly consisted of immediate family. Brady’s son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, John Edward Thomas Moynahan, was also present.

The couple tied the knot at St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica. I know I’m a Jew girl and stuff, but I’ve been there for mass a few times (long story) and not only is it a gorgeous church, it’s great for celeb-spotting! If you’re even in LA and you want to pray with the stars, head on over to St. Monica … well, that is, if you’ve already hit up the Kabbalah Center and the Scientology building …

Congrats to Tom and Gisele, I suppose.