“At least she is older than 16.”

George Clooney, when asked for his thoughts on the Nicole Kidman pregnancy.

Fuck this.

Sources are reporting that George Clooney has been bugging his friend, director Stephen Soderbergh, to put his hooker girlfriend, Sarah Larson, in one of his upcoming movies, tentatively titled Garland Bunting Project. Georgey apparently thinks this little cum dumpster would make a great movie star.

I’m going to make a movie, too. It’s going to be called the Larson Hunting Project, and it’s going to be a documentary of me stalking Sarah Larson and throwing things at her — condoms, feces, apples, the usual — while calling her a slut at the top of my lungs. Then I will be a huge movie star, too. Stupid Sarah Larson. George Clooney was supposed to fall in love with me and make me a movie star. You ruined everything!!!

What happened to our perma-bachelor???

Who is this stupid hooker???? And why did George take her to some event in Italy??

She’s been around forever.

If you’re gonna get serious with someone, George, it really oughtta be me.

Figure this one out, kids:

George Clooney will become an executive board member of a new Swiss energy company that will develop environmentally friendly techniques for car motors and other devices, the billionaire who is setting up the firm said Saturday.

The new company will have different branches doing research and development in the clean production of hydrogen, solar energy and fuel cells, said Nicolas Hayek, chairman of the Swatch Group.

“First I hesitated between Al Gore and Clooney,” Hayek said in an interview with daily Berner Zeitung.

But he didn’t ask the former vice president because it was still unclear whether Gore would run for president and therefore might have accepted the post as a mere public relations exercise, Hayek said.

I’m just speechless.

It’s not like George Clooney’s an idiot.

It’s just that, you know, if I had, say, an energy company, I think I’d rather have former vice president Al Gore on its board than, you know, an actor. I wouldn’t ask Britney Spears to do my taxes.

George Clooney can do the commercials.

Al Gore can make the business decisions.

Okay?

From the AP:

George Clooney and a companion were injured on Friday when their motorcycle collided with a car on a narrow road across the Hudson River from New York City.

Clooney suffered a broken rib and scrapes while his passenger, Sarah Larson, broke her foot in the 3:30 p.m. collision. The two were treated at Palisades Medical Center in North Bergen and released.

George was in the NYC area filming Burn After Reading, co-starring Brad Pitt, who’s kind of like his other girlfriend these days.

It’s unclear who was at fault, but it looks like George was trying to pass the car on the right, which is illegal in New Jersey.

Now George Clooney will think twice before he takes up with some no-name tramp other than me.

I knew it would come to this at some point. When someone is so sexy that they make the human torch look like a wet blanket people are bound to get hurt. And since George lives in Italy those people are Italians.:

ROME (AP) — George Clooney has joined a protest to stop construction of parking lots and a promenade in the northern Italian lakeside town where he owns a villa because he fears his presence is turning the quiet town into a tourist attraction.

You see, the town of Laglio has become besieged by people just hoping to get a little taste of the two time “Sexiest Man Alive.”

The article points out that Clooney recently signed a petition to derail a construction project that would have hurt the locals’ fishing boat harbor.

“My concern is that this village that has stood for hundreds of years would be destroyed simply because I happened to have lived there for the last six years. I told my neighbors that I would do what they wanted. And it seemed that they didn’t want to demolish the harbor where all the local fishermen keep their boats,” Clooney said.

I definitely commend Clooney for taking action, but I wonder exactly how long he can be contained. The hotness seekers will come for him, and it will take more than a petition to keep them off. Heck, it could take a full brigade of the Italian army.

The Associated Press scooped everybody on this shit. Take that, People magazine. Angelina Jolie exclusives my ass. We’ve got George Clooney being a nice guy at a lemonade stand. Also, guys, is it just me, or are George Clooney and Taylor Hicks slowly morphing into the same person?

TOBACCOVILLE, North Carolina (AP) — A group of kids on spring break thought setting up a lemonade stand near George Clooney’s movie set might be a good business move. They were right.

The star paid $20 for his lemonade, which 10-year-old Carter, 6-year-old Chandler and 5-year-old Chase Fontaine were selling for 25 cents.

Clooney made his way over to the lemonade stand Wednesday afternoon after shooting scenes for “Leatherheads,” a movie about the early days of professional football that he is directing and acting in.

The boys’ mother, Courtney Fontaine, offered Clooney the lemonade for free. He had posed for pictures with her and some other women.

But Clooney insisted on paying, sending someone over with a $20 bill. Chandler enjoyed telling people afterward that Clooney’s representative didn’t want any change.

Before long, Carter had made another sign that read, “George Clooney was here!” and planted it at the road.