Via Page Six:

JIMMY Kimmel sounded smug when he guest-hosted “Larry King Live” and told Gawker.com editor Emily Gould he “doesn’t know anyone who would advertise on Web sites like hers.” It turns out Kimmel’s own show, “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” buys ad space on three blogs similar to Gawker – A Socialite’s Life, Egotastic and The Superficial. Now Kim mel’s backtracked, tell ing The Post’s Mari anne Garvey, “Larry’s suspenders were very tight on me, so I didn’t complete my sentence. I have nothing against Web sites, online blogs or celebrity gossip. I was referring specifically to a site that en courages anyone with a cell phone to slander and stalk people.” Kimmel was referring to the Gawker Stalker map, which tracks celebs’ move ments.

Buuuuuullshit, Jimmy. Let’s go back to the tape, shall we? What you said was, “I don’t know why anyone would buy advertising on a website.” Period. You said that, Jimmy, immediately after talking about how Gawker ran a picture of Jabba the Hut in an article about Kevin Costner. The article (here) discussed Kevin Costner having dinner at Butter in New York City ON APRIL 4. The story ran ON APRIL 11. How very, very dangerous for Kevin Costner that anyone — anyone – with a time machine could go back 7 days and know exactly where they could find him for the anal raping. How horribly irresponsible of Gawker. Fuck that, Jimmy. You were pissed at celeb gossip blogs. You were pissed at celebrity gossip. You were pissed that Gawker had implied that you — co-host of The Man Show – were inebriated. Pick a fucking image, Jimmy, and shut up.

Jesus.

This is painful to watch. Honestly, it hurts. Watch as Gawker editor Emily Gould gets ripped to shreds by Jimmy Kimmel, standing in for Larry King. (It doesn’t seem to be embeddable, and I can’t say I blame them. Props to Em for putting it up at all.) Jimmy takes her to task for their “Gawker Stalker” maps, which are probably the coolest fucking thing in the world, and which have been copied by plenty of different websites. One such map accused Kimmel of being drunk, when he was, in fact, walking home with his aunt after a one-year-old’s birthday party (?). And how terribly unfair of Gawker, then, to insinuate that a man who once hosted a show entirely about chugging beer and ogling women might, in fact, be inebriated. What has Kimmel done to deserve such misunderstanding?

Page Six, absolutely fucking gleeful to watch their nemesis go down in flames, managed to take a break from their Gawker-got-called-out happy dance to pen a scathing and totally unnecessary item about the flogging today. It’s really fair how Page Six brands Gould’s defense of herself and her employer as “haughty.” You know, you never hear that term used with a man. A male talking head in the same situation would have been “striking back,” “aggressive,” or even just “explaining himself.” Emily Gould? She’s “haughty.” Fuck that. I watched the tape. She wasn’t haughty, she was sticking up for herself. There was nothing haughty about Gould in that interview.

In fairness, Gould was clearly not expecting or prepared for this line of questioning. She handled herself well under the circumstances, but she could have prepped more thoroughly. She was blind-sided, that much clear by her face, and someone more experienced would have responded more calmly.

Kimmel makes the statement to Gould that he doesn’t “know why anyone would buy advertising on a website.” As Gawker points out later that day, perhaps Kimmel ought to ask the marketing folks at Jimmy Kimmel Live why anyone would buy advertising on a website, as the show recently bought ads on both Egotastic and The Superficial. Cute.

I dunno, I lost a lot of respect for Kimmel after watching this. He was in a bad mood, and I suppose he was trying to prove he could do “serious” television, and he really ought to have picked on someone his own size. His points don’t hold up. Celebrities these days know what celebrity means. You went to those auditions, Jimmy. Walked there with your own damn feet. You pitched those shows. You wanted to be a big star. You wanted people to write about you. People write about you now, Jimmy. Take the good with the bad, asshole. The Man Show did those candid segments that fucked with real people’s lives. I bet they didn’t all think it was as funny as you did. Oh, and remember how you left your wife of 14 years, with whom you had two children, for Sarah Silverman? Just checking, Mister Morality. Stick to sports and drinking beer and ogling women, Jimmy.

Going through Page Six this morning I realized that they have a feature called the “Celebrity Star Map”. Now click on this link and you can run your mouse over a map of Manhattan and see where various celebrities have been spotted doing various noteworthy things. If you are a local New Yorker, you too can have your star sighting posted on the internet. Their site is a bit sad, with only three sightings which include Jacob the Jeweler, Dr. Ruth, and Julia Roberts.

This sounds quite similar to something that Gawker instituted a few months ago except that Gawker’s is quite cool, and quite popular. They have twenty-five sightings including Anne Hathaway (talking about how fat her fellow actresses were…um, honey you aren’t exactly Nicole Richie), Parker Posey (evidently being a bitch but I love her anyway) and Anderson Cooper (who could also be my boyfriend if he wasn’t playing for the other team).

So really Page Six, I know you are trying to jump on the bandwagon but Gawker is kicking your booty.

Please come back, Jessica.

On the flip side, Heather Cocks is rocking the fuck out as Defamer’s guest blogger today, if that’s really her writing. Don’t get me wrong, I think Heather is a riot, but the voice sounds more like Seth Abramovitch or Mark Lisanti than Fug’s blogger. But what do I know.

• Gawker’s backstage reporting from the VMAs is worth a read.
• Remember when Ben Affleck was cool? And when he was in a movie, people wanted to see it? Yeah. Not so much now.
• You know how you can tell it’s a really slow news day? Pictures of Jamie-Lynn Spears.
• Ashlee Simpson may or may not be dating Pete Wentz. “Who is Pete Wentz?” exclaims America.
• Pre-VMA report from Page Six: Ryan Seacreast hanging with his gays; Jason Wahler makes Lauren Conrad cry; Brandon Davis may (shhhh) be on drugs.