So People Magazine is reporting that the stripper who claims she slept with Fergie’s man, Josh Duhamel is doing some interview on Extra to apologize to Fergie for messing with her man. To me, that’s not so interesting because like, duh. That’s what nobody rando people who make horrible claims about celebrities do. They do the press tour, they maybe decide they want to act and wind up doing promotional parties in Grand Rapids or like, whatever. All those Z-List nobody things that attention seeking weirdos do. I don’t particularly think it matters that she’s apologizing to Fergie, who cares? But here’s what killed me when I read the story:

In fact, the media attention given to her claims have hurt her family, if anyone’s. She has two young children.

“My son, he went to a football game last Saturday and he was like, ‘Mom, you’re disgusting. I didn’t know you had sex with him,’ ” she says.

She’s even quit stripping.

“I don’t want to because of my children,” she says. “They asked that I never do it again.”

But was it all worth it? The sex definitely wasn’t, she says. “As far as the best sex? No, I don’t think that was it,” she says.

This woman is a mother?! She has children old enough to go to football games on their own and come home with information about their mother’s having a sex scandal with a major celebrity that’s been splashed all over the Internet and news? Is this really where we’re at? This kid’s life will probably never be the same. His relationship with his mother is permanently tainted by this incident. It’s one thing to know your mother is a stripper, but to know that she’s sleeping with married men on the job, essentially making her a prostitute? If these kids have a relative they can live with, they should.

Anyone who would sacrifice the emotional health of their children to gain a molecule of infamy is disgusting.

Earlier in the week, I told you about Nicole Forrester — stage name:  Delilah — who is claiming that she had sex with Josh Duhamel.  Josh and his new wife Fergie immediately issued one of those stock “She’s a liar” denials that we are so used to hearing.  Well, the pole prodigy is now telling her story on the radio and I believe her.  Click here to watch all three videos of Nicole talking about how she met Josh and how she was approached by the tabs.

The way Nicole tells it, she didn’t know who Josh Duhamel was, but eventually her co-workers clued her in and told her that he was married.  But listen, he was hot, guys.  What’s a girl to do if the guy is hot?  So, she banged him.

Stripper girl also claims that she was approached by the National Enquirer after Josh was bragging on set about screwing a stripper at the club Tattletales.  She resisted telling her story until a $20,000 check was waved under her nose.

Beyond a possibly destroyed marriage, the worst thing is that Nicole’s kids who are 10 and 13 didn’t know that mommy took off her clothes for a living (and sleeps with married dudes!)  Well, they and the rest of the world know it now.  Hopefully she’ll take that check and do good with it.

Could it be true?  After just a few month months of wedded bliss, the first cheating rumor has surfaced and it’s a doozy.  According to some stripper in Atlanta, she totally did Josh Duhamel on October 9th.  And when I say “did” I mean “fucked.”  I don’t want you to be fuzzy on the details.  Gorgeous Josh may finally be splitting up with Fergie or as I like to call her, Claymation.  (Look at that face and tell me she doesn’t look like a Davey and Goliath extra.)

In a blockbuster exclusive interview, the red-hot exotic dancer provided all the details of her marathon sex session with the handsome actor she said is “the best lover” she ever had.

Josh tied the knot with the 34-year-old Black Eyed Peas singer this past January.

But stripper Nicole Forrester – who passed a lie detector test and whose story was confirmed by independent sources – told The ENQUIRER that marriage to super sexy Fergie didn’t stop the actor from hooking up with her.

Well, shit.  If she passed a polygraph, it must be true, right?  As much as I dislike Claymation, I always feel bad when these celebs suffer such public betrayal.  Josh, high-profile divorce first.  Sleazy dalliances second.

It’s red carpet time! Or, I guess in this case, it’s green carpet time. Young Hollywood turned out in droves for Sunday night’s Teen Choice Awards. I don’t know who won what award because I’m not a teen, and it’s not my choice. I chose to watch football. But I do enjoy seeing who wore what to the awards show.

The green carpet was shot outside, in natural light– something for which Beet always cuts celebs a little extra slack. But not me. Because its the same light that all of us have to live every day of our lives in. So when a celeb shows up on the red carpet in natural light that reveals their haggard eye bags and pancake makeup, I feel highly vindicated. Case in point: Amanda Bynes (above). I’m not sure what kinds of bottles she’s been hitting, or how often, but I’m convinced that bottles are definitely being hit.

I’m also convinced that inside Rumer Willis’ gullet is a pelican desperately struggling to swallow a fish.

Britney Spears, on the other hand, looked fabulous. I’ve never been a big fan of her fashion choices, but her dress tonight was sexy with a touch of  class.

Miley Cyrus showed up in an outfit that may have been made up of pieces from her Wal-mart line. I have nothing against Wal-mart, and definitely nothing against Miley, but I’m not so sure that was the best fashion choice for an awards show. Nothing says tacky like a darkly colored bra showing through a wife beater.

Other atendees included Robert Pattinson, looking drugged and disheveled as ever, Kristen Bell in my least favorite celeb fashion trend of the last few years (a jumpsuit), the Jonas Brothers, Fergie, Emma Roberts, Jordin Sparks, Kristen Stewart, Alexis Bledel, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez, and Kat Von D.

So who had your favorite look of the evening? Worst?

Here’s my favorite — and when I say “favorite” I really mean “tranny that stole my fiance Josh Duhamel” — singer Fergie leaving a L.A. studio yesterday wearing the carcass of an owl.  I also threw a pic of the backside of our gal Fergie into the gallery.  Her legs are as smooth as a baby’s Mischa Barton’s bottom.

Apparently that blogger isn’t the first person to tell Fergie her music blows.  Back in 2006 when Fergie was releasing her first solo effort, Fergie’s father Patrick told her it was “The worst song that he’d ever heard in his life.”  Her reply?  “(I said) ‘Dad, I respect that, but I hope you’re wrong, because it’s my first single.’”

It seems he was wrong.  The album, The Dutchess, sold over 6 million copies.  Way to be supportive, Dad!

I feel very relieved knowing that Fergie was going to a comedy club while wearing this thing — she was obviously wanting people to laugh at her.  She succeeded.

Fergster, along with her Black Eyed Pea band members went to Le Comedy Club in Paris yesterday to promote their new album, The E.N.D.

It’s time again for another edition of Famous People and Their Hideous Expensive Clothing. Saturday night, a few music stars who are popular in Japan walked the red carpet at the Saitama Super Arena for the 2009 Japan MTV Video Music Awards. Fergie glared at everyone from deep inside a swirly spiral of velvety blue ribbons of fabric while her BEP bandmate Will.i.am wore what looked like a Confederate soldier’s uniform and saluted photogs.

Pop punk group Green Day seemed to take the red carpet walk very seriously, facing backwards half the time and  pretending to piss on the wall at one point.

Ciara (remember her?) was also in attendance, having just escaped from a 1980’s James Bond movie.

However, the real fashion star of the event was Katy Perry. In addition to the pelvic peacock number I wrote about earlier, Perry performed her song Hot N Cold while wearing a corset covered in sushi and sequins. It may have been her idea of paying homage to the country, but it’s the equivalent of a Japanese star coming here and performing in a dress covered in french fries and hamburgers.

Enjoy the gallery, but don’t stare too long at Fergie’s knees unless you’re wearing adequate eye protection.

Just in case you hadn’t noticed them before, she put a big ole star on them and framed them with a… is that a gun holster? What is that?

The Dutchess did her best Tomb Raider impression on the red carpet at this Saturday’s 102.7 KIIS FM Wango Tango event– which does not refer to a Ted Nugent song, but a Summer Concert held in Irvine, CA.

Lady Gaga was also present, but turned the corner from delightfully insane antics to just plain old pyschosis when she started laying wet ones on Perez Hilton. Let’s all hope she soon goes back to talking to her tea cups.

Fergie rocked some long, dark, super-straight extensions, and orange neon hooker heels to the March of Dimes event in NYC on Thursday night.

Thoughts?

What do you think of Fergie’s look?  She looks like a wealthy socialite.  A ninety-year-old wealthy socialite. A ninety-year-old-wealthy socialite who doesn’t know better than to wear black Spanx under a white dress.

Fergie and her cute husband Josh Duhamel attended the Vanity Fair and Krug dinner last night in West Hollywood.  Paris was there.  Can someone please stage an intervention for her spine?  The girl can hardly stand at this point .  Kim Kardashian looked unrecognizable and Keyshia Cole let everyone know that her stylist was absent on the day the “less is more” class happened.

…are in the new issue of Us Weekly.

Her dress is kinda cool — apparently it was a custom D&G — but, in general, I am WAY more interested in Kendra’s bizarre life with Hef. I’m always more interested in the side stories in these magazines than the cover stories.

You know, I’m not rooting for Hugh Hefner to die anytime soon — I think he’s a good guy — but holy shit the memoirs we’re gonna see after that guy croaks are gonna blow some fucking minds, I’m sure.