The whole celebrity clothing line shtick is played out.  I say this because this man..

..should not under ANY circumstances be dressing other people. 

Toby Keith has decided he has style to spare (HA!) and is launching a clothing line called “T.K Steelman” (a porn name just waiting to happen) according to People Magazine. The line will be comprised of  ”casual duds for average dudes” and Keith plans to market to stores like Kohl’s, Target, Walmart and Macy’s. Toby’s impeccably coiffed internal fashionista has designed a line chock full of t-shirts, polos, sweatshirts, jeans, cowboy hats, baseball caps, bandannas, belts, leather wrist straps and the piece de resistance – several styles of sleeveless shirts.

Can’t wait to drag my man down to Walmart and outfit him in some oil-rig emblazoned “‘country sexy’ aesthetic”.

More evidence that Toby Keith needs to deal with his own fashion difficulties before moving on to others:

Spaghetti Cat is hitting the big time!

Keds, the brand that Mischa Barton supposedly represents, has created an actual Spaghetti Cat themed shoe. The “bold piece of leisure footwear” features the bottomless green orbs of  the famous carb loading feline the oh-so-original words “Spaghetti Cat” embossed beneath in some sort of Windows 98 script. Yes – they’re completely and utterly serious about this. The best part? They’re only available online through Zazzle U.K for the unbelievably affordable price of $150 a pop. Yes, that’s right – your favorite pasta masticating feline is not only branching out into footwear – he’s crossed the pond bitches!

Via Eonline

Chace Crawford is on the current cover of VMAN magazine doing his best Zac Efron from “Hairspray”   You can’t blame the guy for looking extremely gay in such a magazine as VMAN.  My problem is the article inside.  I think so many of these teenie bopper twinks really believe their own press.   Below is a quote of how he wants to map out his career.  Chace is a good-looking kid, but I hate to break it to him that he looks like a failed catalog model and there are 300 of him running around Los Angeles.  He should be thankful for his “Gossip Girl” good fortune and not overestimate his acting ability.  The acting on General Hospital is Oscar-worthy compared to Ms. Crawford’s chops.  Don’t quit your day job Chace, you and Jesse Metcalfe from “Desperate Housewives” will be out of work pretty boy roommates before you can say “Gardener”   Here’s Chace’s brilliant career plan.  He forgot that Leo Dicaprio can act and the only reason he is in this magazine is because the male editor thought he had a shot with him.

On having a a career strategy mapped out: I want to do the edgy independent movies, like DiCaprio did, but you have to balance it out. It’s about carving out your leading-man role. Fight Club? Yes! X-Men? Yes! All sorts of different films. American Beauty? Yes! I don’t know if I could pull off a Kevin Spacey, but I’ll try!”

where I can wear Day-Glo diaphrams and call it art.  This Agatha Ruiz de la Prada dress walked the runway at Dfashion in Mexico City this week.

Below, many more fun dresses that I just love to look at.  No idea if the designer intended these to be wearable but I’m thinking no. 

and you may be startled too when you see the front of this dress.  It’s unfortunate. 

Last night was the St. Jude’s 5th Annual Runway for Life Benefit held at the Beverly Hills Hilton.  Hilary and Haylie Duff participated yet I still question Haylie’s fame.  It’s kind of like Ali Lohan…do you just need to be a star sib to be famous?  Selena Gomez showed that sixteen doesn’t look at all like it used to and Jaime Pressly stood in front of food she’ll never eat.  Jason Alexander had white powder on his lapel and Victor Garber continues to embrace the t-shirt and suit coat combination.  Jennifer Westfeldt and her man Jon Hamm acted sophisticated by putting their drinks on the floor before being photographed and Cybill Shepherd wore some distracting and ill-fitted pants.  Dick Van Dyke looked more alert than he ever did on Diagnosis Murder and it appears that Marlo Thomas got one of those wind tunnel makeovers.  Valerie Bertinelli?  She just looked fantastic!  Oh…and Daisy Fuentes attended.  Eh.

Beyonce was inducted into the International Pediatric Hall of Fame at the Miami Children’s Hospital Foundation Diamond Ball and Private Concert this weekend.  I support famous people who use their celebrity for charitable organizations and the greater good.  However…

You’ve never seen so much off the rack acetate crap in your life.  Looking at these pictures makes me feel like I’m at the prom of hell.  Someone get me a bucket of pigs’ blood STAT.

Highlights include:  Beyonce’s mother/stylist hates her, Smokey Robinson bursts out crying when he realizes he’s wearing a sequinned cumberbund, in a twist of irony Gloria Gaynor looks like a movie theater sized box of Good and Plenty,  Gloria Estefan appears robust and various other synthetic material tragedies.

 

When I dated, the goal was to send the signal that it was like an amusement park under my skirt.  Roller coasters, cotton candy kiosks and all that is right in this world but without the long waiting lines.  

Fast forward to Fashion Week in Paris.  Indian designer Manish Arora has taken all the work out of seduction.  He has unveiled THE dress that every woman needs.  Because seriously, nothing screams “I am more fun to ride than the Tilt-A-Whirl” more than wearing a carousel on your torso and a beaded penis glans on your head.  It speaks to me.

 Where the fuck was this ensemble when I was single?  Oh the nameless sex I could’ve had.