Cosmo and razor-maker Gillete headed to Camps Bay Beach in Capetown, South Africa to hold the World’s Largest Bikini Photo shoot (there’s a record for everything). The mag holds one of these events each year at a different location. Previous locations included South Beach and Sydney.

Although the magazine says the event is about getting women together to “feel comfortable about their bodies,” I’m sure it’s also designed to promote the magazine and the Gillette Venus Breeze, a women’s razor that couldn’t shave the hair off a baby’s ass if it’s anything like the regular Venus razor. (I hope we’re not sponsored by them.)

Anyhoos, you might be wondering why I’m writing about random broads in bikinis since I’m obviously not doing it as a backdoor way to advertise one of our sponsors. Well, I just really appreciated the fact that the photo shoot included lots of different kinds of women with different body types, complexions, and styles– including the chica up above with the sweetest pair of knockers these eyes have ever seen.

Plus, it’s random chicks in bikinis. Who would complain?

Although 99% of the participants were “real” women, Cosmo still felt it necessary to sprinkle a few of their own models in the mix, and it’s amazing how absolutely ridiculous these women look next to the other women. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble spotting them in the gallery.

If there’s one area in life that’s easier for celebrity children, it’s the confidence to walk out of the house wearing things that average teenage girls would never consider. We’ve seen it with Nicole Richie, Kelly Osbourne, Bruce and Demi’s girls, and of course, bourgeoning fashion icon, Lourdes Leon. It must take a serious set of cojones (metaphorical, of course) to walk out of the house lookin’ like this (and you should see what I just walked my dog in), but Lourdes does it all the time and with confidence. In fact, I think any day now she’s going to get mixed in with the commoners over at this blog.

Oh, Sophia Loren, time is a thief.  However, in the right lighting, and with a little distance on her, still a beauty.

Miley Cyrus-  I need your opinions on this girl because I feel conflicted.  Part of me feels like her dress contains the collective amount of embellishments that she should wear over the course of her entire career.

Angelina Jolie wore a black draped Elie Saab, old lady hair and general smugness.  However…emeralds on her ears.  Yes, those were real emeralds.  Holy shit!  As an aside, did you see her gaily laughing when Jennifer Aniston was onstage doing an uncomfortable bit with Jack Black?  Fakest.  Ever.

I’ve included a close up of Amy Adams necklace to ensure that you get me the right one.  It’s important that you know, for as long as I remain with Evil Beet, my every review of Anne Hathaway apparel is going to be the same:  beautiful from the neck down.  Lisa Rinna and Amanda Seyfreid dressed straight from the 1991 prom collection and, speaking of old, Penelope Cruz wore a dress that was sixty-years-old.  For real.

I thought Marisa Tomei’s dress was lovely and my favorite, Beyonce, looked like a gilded knockwurst.  Queen Latifah had full-body scoliosis and Robin Wright Penn deserves a mention since her husband didn’t during his Best Actor acceptance speech.  And Jessica Biel.  Someone, anyone, tell me why she played any role at the Oscars.  This is a command, not a question.  Other than her scintillating role as Mary Camden in 7th Heaven, what has she done?  Okay, maybe she’s done a few things but still, she’s famous by injection, isn’t she?

Good Morning!  Did you watch the Oscars?  I did.  I thought Hugh Jackman did a great hosting job, the theater was beautiful and I will never understand one word that Penelope Cruz says.  I liked the new presentation format where former winners paid homage to the nominees.

Oh, and the dresses.  My initial morning after analysis of the Vanity Fair party dresses is as follows:

With the exception of Tilda Swinton who is expected to wear a disaster, the dresses were primarily pretty.  Trends included over-sized floppy bows and the color puce.

Sarah Jessica Parker wore a “barely mint” Dior that was beautiful but predictable.  Halle Berry-also expected.  The diagonal draping is great, but it’s time to try something new.  Claire Danes wrapped herself in a tablecloth and Madonna, with bulging biceps, looks weird in any dress.  Bryce Dallas Howard, Anna Paquin and Jessica Alba looked like they were headed to a wedding shower.  It’s the Oscars bitches!  If ever there was a time for overdressing, this is it.  Jada Pinkett drowned in her dress but Ginnifer Goodwin, undoubtedly wins for ugliest frock ever.  I thought Kate Winslet dressed older than her years and had senior hair.  Sheryl Crow’s dress had proportion issues that made her look pear shaped and Naomi Watts looked sensational for just having a baby but the dress…not flattering.  Gwen Stefani looked like a whisk broom and though I wasn’t in love with Amy Adams dress, I was mesmerized by her necklace.  Buy it for me?  Please?

What say you all?

I can’t tell if this is a PETA event, or a drag show? The tags on the pics assure me that this is, indeed, a PETA event held at a club called ‘Last Days of Decadence”. A PETA event with a liberal sprinkle of drag mixed in. They managed to tie it all together with the “Fur is a Drag” banner at the end. I love drag shows (the lashes, the sequins, the lights!), and I love animals. I just never thought of mixing the two together.

I don’t mean to bitch or anything but um…how is wandering about looking dazed in paint splattered fur, bad wigs, and outrageous fab-u-lous make up helping animals again? I understand that the fur has been symbollically ruined, but they’re still wearing it and it’s still fur….

 Perhaps someone could explain it to me.

Good Morning!  See?  Someone is always having a worse day than you are.  We stumble, we fall.  The entire world sees our wedgie.  We smile and recover.  The runway is such a euphemism for life.

It’s Fashion Week; Fifteen-year-old model, Monika “Jac” Jagaciak, handled this tumble with aplomb at the Hervé Leger show.

Grammies are officially underway, people! It never ceases to amaze me how many people with absolutely no musical connections show up to walk the red carpet. For example, UFC fighter Chuck Liddell. Chuck – you punch people for a living. What the fuck are you doing at the Grammies? 

Here are some of the arrivals. I’m sure Beet or Wendie will do an outfit round up in the AM when all the pictures are out. I see some “Worst Dressed” potential already!

You know all that bitching we were doing about Angelina appearing at events dressed in what appeared to be belted nightgowns? Well, I think she got tired of it because this is what she wore to The Orange  British Academy Film Awards.

A few other arrivals are below. Sharon Stone looks amazing, Alesha Dixon went for high drama, Penelope Cruz looks a little like she’s being strangled by a velvet turtleneck, and Dominic Cooper is hot. I don’t like Emma Watson’s dress, but it may just be a bad angle. 

..should not under ANY circumstances be dressing other people. 

Toby Keith has decided he has style to spare (HA!) and is launching a clothing line called “T.K Steelman” (a porn name just waiting to happen) according to People Magazine. The line will be comprised of  ”casual duds for average dudes” and Keith plans to market to stores like Kohl’s, Target, Walmart and Macy’s. Toby’s impeccably coiffed internal fashionista has designed a line chock full of t-shirts, polos, sweatshirts, jeans, cowboy hats, baseball caps, bandannas, belts, leather wrist straps and the piece de resistance – several styles of sleeveless shirts.

Can’t wait to drag my man down to Walmart and outfit him in some oil-rig emblazoned “‘country sexy’ aesthetic”.

More evidence that Toby Keith needs to deal with his own fashion difficulties before moving on to others:

Spaghetti Cat is hitting the big time!

Keds, the brand that Mischa Barton supposedly represents, has created an actual Spaghetti Cat themed shoe. The “bold piece of leisure footwear” features the bottomless green orbs of  the famous carb loading feline the oh-so-original words “Spaghetti Cat” embossed beneath in some sort of Windows 98 script. Yes – they’re completely and utterly serious about this. The best part? They’re only available online through Zazzle U.K for the unbelievably affordable price of $150 a pop. Yes, that’s right – your favorite pasta masticating feline is not only branching out into footwear – he’s crossed the pond bitches!

Via Eonline

Chace Crawford is on the current cover of VMAN magazine doing his best Zac Efron from “Hairspray”   You can’t blame the guy for looking extremely gay in such a magazine as VMAN.  My problem is the article inside.  I think so many of these teenie bopper twinks really believe their own press.   Below is a quote of how he wants to map out his career.  Chace is a good-looking kid, but I hate to break it to him that he looks like a failed catalog model and there are 300 of him running around Los Angeles.  He should be thankful for his “Gossip Girl” good fortune and not overestimate his acting ability.  The acting on General Hospital is Oscar-worthy compared to Ms. Crawford’s chops.  Don’t quit your day job Chace, you and Jesse Metcalfe from “Desperate Housewives” will be out of work pretty boy roommates before you can say “Gardener”   Here’s Chace’s brilliant career plan.  He forgot that Leo Dicaprio can act and the only reason he is in this magazine is because the male editor thought he had a shot with him.

On having a a career strategy mapped out: I want to do the edgy independent movies, like DiCaprio did, but you have to balance it out. It’s about carving out your leading-man role. Fight Club? Yes! X-Men? Yes! All sorts of different films. American Beauty? Yes! I don’t know if I could pull off a Kevin Spacey, but I’ll try!”

where I can wear Day-Glo diaphrams and call it art.  This Agatha Ruiz de la Prada dress walked the runway at Dfashion in Mexico City this week.

Below, many more fun dresses that I just love to look at.  No idea if the designer intended these to be wearable but I’m thinking no.