A pretty funny video from X17, as the paparazzi follow LiLo around for the better part of a day. She eats at Il Fornaio with Harry Morton and a woman who is either a rookie personal assistant or a very entitled friend.

Before Lindsay leaves the restaurant, this mystery woman comes out and instructs the paparazzi that she “needs them to stay at least ten feet back.” The paparazzi chirp their agreement — “yes yes, no problem, of course, sure, you got it” — and, confident her natural genius for paparazzi negotiation has once again worked its subtle magic, she heads back inside the restaurant.

She emerges later with Lindsay, who is instantly clobbered by photogs.

Here’s that “Ring the Alarm” performance I was talking about. God bless YouTube.

It’s kind of hard to see for the first 45 seconds or so, then it clears up.

A little something to incorporate into your daily prayer ritual.

Link via SorryIGotDrunk.

I’ve written several intros to this video and I keep erasing them. It’s easy to poke fun at Paula Abdul’s substance abuse problem. It’s so painfully obvious on AmIdol that I find myself exclaiming “Wow, I think she’s sober tonight” in the rare instance that she appears to be.

You’d think she’d have people around her to do something about this. I mean, even if they can’t keep her from guzzling liquor and vicodin, at least they could keep her off of live television for the night. But the folks at E! caught her on Emmy night, and asked her questions she proceeded to answer using her best impression of an overtired 5-year-old. I’m kind of sad for her, actually. I’ve decided the only reason she can get through tapings of AmIdol is that they film it in the afternoon — clearly, by nightfall, she’s totally incoherent.

The sound and picture quality get better about 15 seconds in.

Mindy Kaling from The Office, we thank you. We promise to learn how to pronounce your name. Later, though. [Best Week Ever]

• Ashton Kutcher is developing a candid-camera-style reality series for NBC based on the film The Wedding Crashers.
• Matt Stone has it on good authority that Saddam Hussein is being forced to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut in prison. Hussein banned the movie in his own country in 1999 because it depicts him as the gay lover of Satan. Fussy, fussy.
• Maybe you should just stay at home and drink alone, Tara.