Did anyone else think that Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson were really awesome together? I did. At first it was kind of weird, and then I found out they were holed up in his house doing insane amounts of smack together and I got kind of upset and then finally I was like “They’re just two crazy cats trying to co-exist. Let it be, man.” And then it just made me laugh a lot when I’d think about the bizarre sex and drug parties and fights they must have. Can you imagine the fights?! Pretty funny stuff.

I was kind of bummed when they broke up because break ups are generally hard and I was like “Oh, poor those guys”, because having your feelings hurt sucks (I felt that way for Dita, too. I’m not some hardcore ERW fangirl or anything.) Then today I saw a blog called Metal Hammer has the exclusive from Manson saying that the two are like, back together or fucking and saying I love you or something:

After some shocking behaviour in recent interviews Marilyn Manson is back with the woman he loves… “that’s kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that.”

You’ve been to the pits of despair and back, how does one pick ones self up and get inspired and motivated after such an identity crisis?
“I think I’m not afraid to be me. Sometimes [it] happens when you get to this point in your career, and there are so many things that have happened and influences that you’ve had, besides the influences of the things that have inspired you. Sometimes you feel awkward being what you’re best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I’m back with Evan, that’s kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that.”

Awesome. That’s so great for them.

Some people paint and some people sculpt, but when Marilyn Manson wants to create art he throws semen-filled condoms at a mirror.  I wish I was kidding.  He talked all about it — and so much more — in a recent interview with SPIN.

I was going to email you a photograph I just took. It’s of a new piece of modern art I created. Let’s call this work my Jack-off Pollack, of sorts. I had two condoms — alien things to me, I haven’t seen them in 25 years — and I threw them on the mirror, and they stuck, and they formed this piece of modern art. And I can’t decide what to call it. I’m thinking about calling it “I Don’t Want You to be Cursed With My Retarded Child,” or “It’s Not Just Love, It’s a Lifestyle,” because they were Lifestyle condoms.

Would the name be different if they were Magnum or Trojan condoms?

I suppose. I was just curious what I could do with a condom filled with my semen, other than the obvious damage that one could do.

Well, you know, you could be sanitary and throw it away?

It was like a piñata of disease and babies and confusion. It’s literally just dripping down as we speak, two of them. I just wanted to make sure that you know that I can perform. I want to make sure that my sexual prowess is established here. I’d love this photo to be on the cover of SPIN.

When Manson isn’t occupied with creating his sperm-covered home furnishings or managing his $200,000 cocaine habit — yes, he admitted that too — he grapples with self-mutilation and daily homicidal thoughts.

It sounds like the period after you and Evan Rachel Wood broke up was really tough. What was your lowest point?

I sing about it on “Into the Fire.” I say, “If you want to hit bottom, don’t bother trying to take me with you.” My lowest point was Christmas Day 2008, because I didn’t speak to my family. My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that’s a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands.

I look back and it was a really stupid thing to do. This was intentional, this was a scarification, and this was like a tattoo. I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It was like, “I want you to physically see what you’ve done.” It sounds made up but it’s completely true and I don’t give a shit if people believe it or not. I’ve got the scars to prove it. I didn’t want people to ask me every time I did an interview, “Oh, is this record about your relationship with your ex-girlfriend?” But that damage is part of it, and the song “I Want to Kill You Like They Do in The Movies” is about my fantasies. I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer.

Evan Rachel Wood should be heaving a huge sigh of relief right now, though I really hope she has some sort of security.  Because Marilyn Manson sounds almost nuts enough to do her in.

I couldn’t possibly care less. But for what it’s worth, she tells the new issue of GQ that she’s back in the sack with her 40-year-old lover, Marilyn Manson. Evan continues to be 21 years old. Too cute.

“I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances might suffer because of all of these distractions … I’m not attracted to him, he’s too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will.”

Evan Rachel Wood, once again shooting down rumors that she’s doing the nasty with co-star and all-around gross man Mickey Rourke.

Yes, Mickey Rourke is fucking his movie daughter, Evan Rachel Wood.  The two met on the set of The Wrestler and obviously hit it off.  Naked.  Sweet Jesus, Wood is obviously into really weird and unattractive men.  Homely dudes are the best in bed; it’s an overcompensation thing.  Unfortunately, since I got LASIK, taking out my contacts to get through ugly sex is no longer an option.

Despite all the denials, on the night of the SAG Awards they were making out at after-parties and went up to his room at the Four Seasons.  I guess that isn’t solid proof of sex; maybe they were up there being just friends and eating overpriced cashews.  Who am I kidding?  They are so having sex.  This picture says it all, doesn’t it?

For the first time in her whole red carpet life, Evan Rachel Wood doesn’t look like a trampy Dita Von Teese wannabe.

In fact, she looked stunning at the Critics Choice Awards.

Dress is gorgeous, but, most importantly, hair and makeup suit her perfectly. She doesn’t look like a Dita rip-off, she looks like the beautiful young woman that she is deep under all that crazy.

Keep this stylist, Rachel!

More specifically, I’d like us to discuss this issue:

In My Girl — the feel-good Macaulay-Culkin-evaded-the-burglars-but-now-he-dies-of-bee-stings movie of 1991 — Jamie Lee Curtis’s character spoke the following words: “The first rule of makeup is that you can never wear enough blue eye shadow.”

Is this still true???

Should you ever wear blue eye shadow anymore??

Evan seems to think so.

And perhaps an even more pressing issue: What the hell happened to Anna Chlumsky? Granted, I was 9 years old when I saw that movie, but I remember feeling that this young woman was poised for an extraordinary career. In fairness, I felt the same way about Curly Sue (who today is a phenomenally talented and under-exposed singer).