I, for one, have had it with these two. 

Eminem has played answering machine tapes of Mariah from when they briefly dated, told a radio station that he pissed on her, and referred to her in his song “Bagpipes from Baghdad.”

See Mariah above, filming the video for her new song “Obsessed.”  Is there any doubt that she’s spoofing Em?

I’m so sick of both of them.

It’s been officially confirmedby Scott Aukerman, the head writer for the MTV Movie Awards:  The Bruno and Eminem bit was totally staged.  He wrote on his blog, “Yes, the Bruno/Eminem incident was staged. That’s all anyone wants to talk about, so let’s get it out of the way.  They rehearsed it at dress and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show then.  Okay, you can stop reading this blog now!”

I’ve witnessed so much debate and commentary on this over the past couple days since the broadcast.  A lot of people thought Em’s tantrum was the real deal.  People, Eminem has been subjected to far morerepulsive and offensive things than Sacha Baron Cohen’s testicles without storming out of the room;  he did date Mariah Carey, after all.

“I was the worst kind of addict, a functioning addict. I was so deep into my addiction at one point that I couldn’t picture myself being able to do anything without some kind of drug. The deeper I got into my addiction, the tighter the lid got on my creativity. When I got sober the lid just came off. In seven months I accomplished more than I could accomplish in three or four years doing drugs.”

Eminem, in an interview with the New York Times about his new album, Relapse, and the drug addiction/recovery that preceded it.

Lindsay Lohan, are you taking notes?

Last week, Wendie wrote about the supposed feud that’s been brewing between Nick Cannon and Eminem over some lyrics in Eminem’s new single “Bagpipes from Baghdad” and a few wet and wild comments he made about Cannon’s wife, Mariah Carey, on his satellite radio show. Cannon had initially posted a blog entry on his website, basically calling Slim Shady out for fisticuffs. But now he’s saying that in spite of his harsh words towards Shady, there is no feud between the two of them.

“I felt like I said what I had to say,” Cannon said. “I didn’t take [the post] down, like, ‘Oh, somebody instructed me to do it’ or anything like that. It was just one of those things, like, I said it.”

As for the real reason he took the post down, Cannon said it had to do with the traffic to his Web site, which “pretty much crashed my site. There’d be thousands and thousands of comments and people couldn’t leave comments on other posts or any of that stuff. So that was the only reason why I took it down.”

And while noted that he doesn’t have any regrets about what he said — “I feel exactly the same way by it and stick by everything, but I think it’s one of those things where it becomes that it’s not really that big of a deal, you know?” — he did say he has no beef with the MC.

“I never even considered it as beef,” he said. “It’s not beef. It’s just, Hey, I heard the record. I said what I had to say.”

So, if it’s not beef, what is it? Tofurkey? I can’t imagine that if some guy says horrible things about your wife in one of his songs and then claims to have pissed on her you would just let that drop.

“Tony Romo is one of my favorite quarterbacks. I don’t think he’s my favorite — but he’s certainly one of my favorites. So I felt kinda conflicted doing the Jessica thing. [But] Jessica got fat. I mean, not really fat, but she certainly got fat for … well, Jessica Simpson got fat for Jessica Simpson! You know what I mean? I’ve always wanted people to be able to look back at each video and go, ‘Oh, remember what was going on at that moment!’ You know what I mean? ‘Oh, that’s when Jessica Simpson got fat.’ ‘Oh, OK!’ And even if she gets thin again, that’s fine. But for that moment in time, she was fat.”

Eminem, on his decision to mock Jessica Simpson’s size in the video for “We Made You.” (Video above)

I know that Eminem says he’s sober, but I dunno.

Last month he got things stirred up when he released his new single-an ode to Mariah Carey, whom he briefly dated in 2003- “Bagpipes from Baghdad” which had lyrics that went something like, “Nick Cannon better back the f*** up. I’m not playing, I want her back, you punk. Nick Cannon, you pr**k, I wish you luck with that f***in’ whore.”   You can imagine how much Mr. Mariah Carey liked that.  He’s vowed that there will be “repercussions.”  I think that’s code for, “I’m sending her back to you, Em.”

Eminem must not feel too threatened by Nick Cannon since he isn’t done yet.  While taking calls on his Shade 45 satellite radio station, Em said, “We’re taking callers right now (from) any woman who wants to be peed on.”   When asked what he would say if Mariah called in, he replied, “I already did that.”

So, Mariah, does returning Marshall Mathers’ call six years ago get filed under Biggest Mistake of Your Life, or what?