I’m no expert on Jesus, Mr. Stapp, but, from what I’ve been told, he wasn’t real big on gambling, drinking to excess, or announcing that Dave Grohl has a tiny penis on television. But I suppose you’d know better than I.
[via SorryIGotDrunk]
No, not the “it girl.” Just “that girl.” You know, the one who can’t walk out of the club using her own internal balancing skills, but rather must rely on those of the friends who are propping her up. Check out the video here.
What’s funniest to me is the running ‘razzi commentary. When you watch the videos of Paris or Lindsay, the photogs are always super nice: “Paris, watch out, there’s a puddle!” “Lindsay, hi, you look gorgeous, you look beautiful!” “Paris, how’s your jaw? Is your jaw okay, Paris? Your fans are so worried about you!”
With Avril, it’s just, “Come on, you drunk bitch!”
But I guess Paris has never spit on a photog.
I was so excited to run this with the headline “George Michael’s Double Whammy,” but E! Online got to it first. Damn.
I’d rather not be so harsh as to say “George Michael was found intoxicated and passed out at the wheel of his car for the second time in eight months.” Instead, let’s look at it as “George Michael was found intoxicated and passed out at the wheel of his car for the first time since February!” Because eight months is an admirable length of time to stay conscious at the wheel when you drink and drive like he does. Michael was arrested early Sunday morning in London on suspicion of drug possession, after being awoken, of course.
His partner, Kenny Goss, said “He’s fine and I’ve got him a McDonalds,” from which we can conclude only that Goss himself was still drunk at the time of the interview. Best of luck to Michael and Goss, and to the entire city of London. And, E! Online, I call dibs on the “Triple Whammy” headline in May.
(Hey Tiffy — it’s not quite the coke arrest we were hoping for, but I think we can say our prayers were answered.)
On Thursday night, La Lohan met up with her mother, Dina, at an NYC restaurant to celebrate her mom’s birthday. By the time Lindsay arrived, Dina and four friends were already pretty smashed, and by the end of the first course, Lindsay and Dina were cussing at one another. Lindsay told her mother to “go to hell” and left the restaurant for the Calvin Klein party at 7 World Trade Center, and later closed down B8.
Her mother stayed at the restaurant, crying and text-messaging furiously for the next 45 minutes, and apparently made five trips to the bathroom, coming back sniffling each time. Sound like anyone you know? The waiters had to help her out of the restaurant four hours later, after she’d paid the $2000 bill without tipping.
Poor Lindsay Lohan. On the surface, it must seem really fun to have a mother who’s every bit as much of an alcoholic and cokehead as yourself, but deeper down I can see how it might feel dysfunctional, unstable and petrifying.
Apparently all the Manhattan hipster awesomeness was as nauseating to Ashlee as it is to most of us left-coasters, and she spent a portion of the night vomiting in the bathroom. Radar’s trying to spin it like she drank too much, but don’t worry, Ashlee, anyone who’s seen a Blue States Lose feels your pain.
