Despite their much-publicized feud last year, it appears The Donald is willing to go to any lengths to ensure the upcoming celebrity season of The Apprentice doesn’t bomb, including offering arch-nemesis Rosie O’Donnell a spot on the show.

Trump reportedly offered Rosie a whopping $2 million for 12 days of work on the show. The offer came through producer Mark Burnett’s office.

“I wouldn’t do it for $200 million,” Rosie responded.

Give it up, Trump. No one cares about The Apprentice anymore, and throwing a bunch of incompetent D-list celebrities into the mix isn’t going to help. If we want to see how celebrities approach a marketing and sales task, we can check out the latest videos on TMZ.com. No need to tune into NBC to watch them do the exact same thing, except with nauseating levels of product placement and your little gems of “wisdom” tossed in.

The New York Post is reporting that the 58-year-old mother of Ivanka and Donald Jr. is wearing a “ginormous” pink diamond reportedly given to her by her 35-year-old beau, Rossano Rubicondi, who, as best I can tell, is some sort of Z-list actor/model, but feel free to correct me on that. She’s reportedly begun referring to him as her “fiance.” Her rep confirmed the story, stating that “it will be officially announced when she returns from the Mediterranean.”

When asked what he knew about the story, her son, Donald Trump Jr., responded, “You probably know as much as I do.”

Meanwhile, The Donald’s out finding trouble of his own. Responding the recent Lohanigans, Donald offered the following (unsolicited) advice to the struggling starlet:

“Find what you love doing (other than drugs and alcohol), work hard, stay focused, get a new set of parents!”

Lindsay’s mother, Dina Lohan, whose attention really needs to be focused on battling Donald Trump in the press right now, shot back with the folllowing statement:

“Donald, I’m really disappointed in the statement that was brought to my attention from The New York Post. I’ve always had a great admiration for your business sense and I’ve read all your books and learned from them! Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and you will find the truth! Shame on you… so many families suffer from this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions! – Dina and family”

From the man whose entire home can best be described as “gilded” comes a lesson in taste.

Trump, whose ratings-challenged Apprentice was unceremoniously dumped after this past season, is currently producing a reality series called The Lady and the Tramp for Fox. In the series, “girls in love with the party life will be sent to a charm school where they will receive a stern course on debutante manners.”

Jesus Christ, “debutante manners?” Has anyone involved in this show ever actually been to a deb ball? Trust me, by around 1 a.m. those white Vera Wang gowns are tequila-stained and residing entirely around their occupant’s shoulders, keeping her ankles company.

Says Trump: “We are all sick and tired of the glamorization of these out-of-control young women, so I have taken it upon myself to do something about it. I am creating a real-life version of ‘My Fair Lady’ with my company Trump Productions. This show is all about getting a second chance and transforming for the better; the idea is genius and the show will be huge.”

See? Modesty. Always classy.

I love how he calls everyone “a disaster.” Also, what’s up with CNN’s three-pane screen? Is it absolutely necessary that I see both Donald Trump and Wolf Blitzer from every possible angle at all points in time?

Halle Berry claims she’s never had plastic surgery. [Bossip]

Gold is the new rehab. [INO]

Solange Knowles tells her husband … eh … Lisa beat me to it. [A Socialite's Life]

Fantastic. As soon as we find a fashion designer who’s not gay, he turns out to be a rapist. [Warship]

Um, who is Julie Bowen and why is she talking about her body hair? [Celebslam]

I hate to admit it, but Donald Trump’s little boy Barron is probably the cutest child on the planet. [Monica Monroe]

Get this: Janice Dickinson is probably a lot older than the appearance of her face would imply. [Yeeeah!]

Eh. Jessica Simpson is not adopting a child anytime soon, I assure you. But since everyone is reporting this, here’s a link. [Mollygood]

Jennifer Hudson uses her MySpace blog to try to convince us that not everything you read in the gossip columns is true. Yeah, right. Like I’m supposed to believe that from a girl who tried to bail last-minute on the Soul Train awards! [SOW]

The Beckhams settle on an L.A. home: Meg Ryan’s. [Rumorficial]

Cameron Diaz will have to battle Lindsay Lohan if she wants to get to Jude Law. [BYLTH]

Ryan Seacrest: His Straightest Moments. [Gawker]

Reese Witherspoon jogs the blues away. [Drunken Stepfather]

Hi Rosie and Donald,

I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you’ve been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence.

Then, it hits me: maybe there’s a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud!

Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did Donald pen a scathing rebuttal? Anything’s possible with you two!!

I run to my computer.

Oh, joy!

Rosie, without fail, you’ve said something ever so witty and perceptive about Donald on The View. And, Donald, you’ve always authored a brilliantly innovative note in response. Each day it is eye-opening. Each day it feels new.

I smile to myself. This is all fascinating.

I care so much.

So thank you, both of you, for bringing a daily dose of Rosie/Donald feuding happiness into my life. Please keep it coming. The American public is counting on you.

Yours always,
The Beet