Here’s Diddy showing off his twin daughters — D’Lila Star and Jessie James — at the finale of Making the Band.

Now I’m not one to make fun of babies, but these girls seriously look like they’re about to throw down. I’m afraid of them.

Diddy reportedly had an accident last week and broke his foot, so he’s all gimpy and shit now.

His rep says: “He did have routine foot surgery, but I’m not getting into specifics. It wasn’t broken, it was a scheduled operation. He’s doing great, and he’s on the mend.”

Routine foot surgery?

How far up your own P.R. ass do you have to be to claim your client had routine foot surgery? Like, did he just decide to swing by the hospital for a little foot tune-up? “It’s just a little creeky, doc. Could you open it up and move some of the parts around so that it runs smoother?”

Some people get chemical peels, some people have routine foot surgery, I guess.

And why the hell are you covering up the fact that he broke his foot? What’s the big deal here. What are the “specifics” into which you refuse to get? Did he have his foot stuck up Aubrey O’Day’s pussy in some weird sex shit? Did it sprain when he tried to hit her G-spot? Did he call his doctor the night before like, “Hey, Doc, Aubrey and I are gonna play the foot game again tonight, so I need you to know there’s a decent chance I’ll be in tomorrow for some routine foot surgery. Just a heads-up.”

What is going on here?

Diddy hit the streets with ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and their 10-month-old twin daughters, D’Lila Star and Jessie James.

The music mogul recently got word that DNA testing proved he was also the father of a 15-month-old little girl in Atlanta. “I will take care of her for the rest of her life,” he said.

“At first, I wasn’t sure if this was my child. Now that it has become clear she is, I will take care of her for the rest of her life.”

Sean “Diddy” Combs, after DNA tests proved that a 15-month-old Atlanta girl is, in fact, his daughter. Diddy was dating model Kim Porter when the baby was conceived.

Britney’s opening the VMAs on Sunday, and she’s making sure she’ll be nice and hungover for the occasion.

She showed up in Vegas last night to party with Diddy & Co at PURE.

Another interesting attendee: Josh Henderson, sans Paris. Get over it, buddy. Nobody cares about you now.

“After 10 years, I have decided to end my on-again/off-again relationship with Sean `Diddy’ Combs,” reads a statement released by Diddy’s baby mama. “In ending this relationship, I made a decision that was in the best interest of myself, Sean and our family. I look forward to moving on with my life and my career, and wish him prosperity, health and happiness in life and in love. We will remain friends and committed parents to our children.”

I find the first part of this statement so, so funny. Who refers to her ex-boyfriend and the father of her children as “Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs”? What she means is: “After 10 years, I have decided to end my tumultuous, dramalicious relationship with Sean ‘Fucks Anything that Walks’ Combs.”

I think we should all have to make formal statements like this to the press whenever we end any sort of a romantic relationship. Like, “After three weeks, I have decided to end my purely physical relationship with John ‘Allergic to Condoms’ Doe. In ending this relationship, I made a decision that was in the best interest of my ten-year goal of not getting herpes.” Or “After two years, I have decided to end my financially motivated relationship with Bob ‘Satan Drives a Beemer’ Jones, and I wish him the best of luck with the impending IRS audit.” Wouldn’t that be fun?

“I’ve spent a lot of time with Kim in Paris, And it’s been perfect. As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it. As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time. A lot of guys out there get married, and they still do their own thing. I don’t want to get married and fail.”

30 hours of sex sounds kind of boring if you are asking me. I think I would start making grocery lists and counting sheep. I have no idea how this girl puts up with him. I would take the child support and run because I feel like he has a lot more baby mama drama in his future. This Eiffel Tower love story makes me almost as ill as when Tom Cruise proposed to Kate (remember when he re-named her, ya that didn’t stick) last summer.