Archive for the ‘Deryck Whibley’ Category

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Avril Lavigne is Moving In With Brandon Davis. Gross.

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Avril Lavigne

Well, her soon to be ex husband Deryck Whibley has already moved on to making out with chick in tattoo parlors, so I guess it makes sense that Avril would move on to someone new, too. But while Deryck Whibley is out hooking with some Hollywood scene queen, she’s moving in with a former Hollywood kinda sorta somebody with a big greasy face. Yeah, Brandon Davis. A refresher for those of you who’ve had the pleasure of forgetting: he’s the one who hangs out with Paris and Co. and famously called Lindsay Lohan poor for only having seven mil. and then brilliantly called her a firecrotch to TMZ cameras.

The two supposedly have been seeing each other since the split, but their move in seems more recession-friendly than serious. From Hollyscoop: “Avril is selling her home where she lived with Deryck, while Brandon still lives in his family’s Bel-Air mansion….They both needed a place to live, so they decided to move in together.”

This is the first woman that Brandon has ever lived with and Avril isn’t even divorced yet, so I don’t anticipate this relationship going anywhere. I actually, deep down, genuinely feel that eventually one of them is going to wind up stabbing the other in a coke-fueled rage. I think this is probably a massive mistake, but they didn’t ask me so whatever…

Avril’s Ex-Husband Is Already So Over Her

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
Image from TMZ.com

Image from TMZ.com

Avril Lavigne and hubby Deryck Whibley just split up a little bit ago, but that doesn’t mean that the Sum41 singer is staying at home playing “I’m With You” on repeat and crying. In fact, he seems to be doing just the opposite: pressin’ lips with a modely-looking chick at a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles (There’s video here. Sorry, no embed code.)

It doesn’t seem odd that Deryck would start seeing someone quick to lay on the PDA. Avril supposedly was an ice queen and treated him like crap toward the end of their marriage. This chick is the complete opposite: hands wrapped around his face, going in for the kill to the point where Deryck even seems a little bit shy (no doubt the paparazzi hanging out behind them helped make this “tender moment” so much more awkward.) Still, after spending the last several years with a woman who treated her help better than you, I can see why he’d rush to be with a woman who can’t keep her hands off of him.

Avril Lavigne Di4ces Her Sk8er Boi

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley Divorce Pictures Photos

In perhaps her final act of pop culture relevance, angry scenester and occasional vocalist Avril Lavigne has filed to end her ill-advised marriage to Sum 41 guitarist Deryck Whibley. Let this be a lesson to all of you: Never marry someone who doesn’t know how to spell his own first name. The couple separated in late September, and Avril officially filed for divorce on October 9. They married in July 2006, when Avril was 22 years old, which is how I knew for sure that their love would last forever. Because wealthy and famous 22-year-olds know exactly what they’re going to want for the rest of their lives, and it’s always important for them to try hard to make their marriages work, because it’s not like they have anything to fall back on.

What makes this a particularly gleeful occasion for me (Side note: How hard does Glee rock? Sooo hard. It makes me realize that I probably would have loved High School Musical if I were like 10 years younger. I would totally buy a beach towel with Finn and Rachel on it.), is that back when Avril married this guy, and everyone was all like, “You are so dumb, this will never work,” she was all like, “Everyone else is dumb and this is going to work” and I was all like, “No, Avril, this going to work about as well as Aaliyah’s Cessna” and she was all like, “You’ll all feel silly in forty years when I’m still married to the punk guitarist with whom I shared life goals at the age of 22″ and now they’re getting a divorce. I win.

Oh, and Avril’s filing a motion to prevent him from seeking spousal support. I SMELL A SHITSTORM! AND IT SMELLS GOOOOOD!