Not only did she just learn that Brooke Mueller is pregnant with Charlie Sheen’s baby, but her stupid reality show, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated, just got canceled, thank the Lord.

“The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode,” said a source. “But the audience has dropped off.”

It turns out it’s not complicated at all: audiences just don’t like Denise “Bad Person” Richards.

I can’t say I blame them.

After Denise Richards “leaked” some voicemail messages from Charlie Sheen, including one where he calls her the N-word (the transcript is after the jump), Sheen has released this apology:

“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings.”

Sheen added, however, that “three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis” because “my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation.”

Sheesh.

I think they both kind of suck (I’m definitely always annoyed by anyone who uses the “some of my best friends are black” defense against using racial slurs in a hateful manner, although I don’t think Charlie Sheen is racist), but I still think Denise sucks harder.

Transcript of the voicemail from Sheen is after the jump. Warning: it’s offensive.

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Here’s Denise “Bad Person” Richards at a charity event for Fertile Hope, which provides fertility resources to cancer patients.

You are not fooling anyone, Denise. You only go to these charity events because no one else wants you around.

And Denise? Bright pink lipstick went out about 20 years ago. You should donate the remainder of your collection to charity and issue a press release.

“I’m in a no-win situation. If I don’t have my children in my show, then people will say ‘Well, she’s really not a hands-on mom.’ If I do have my children, people are saying that I’m exploiting them. And I think there’s plenty of reality shows with families, where you don’t watch them — at least I never did — and think they really exploited their kids.”

Denise Richards, on why she’s exploiting her kids.

Despite Charlie Sheen’s objections, a court ruled last month that Denise Richards can use her poor young daughters as pawns on her upcoming reality TV series on E!.

Those kids hate being on camera.

“The show will give viewers an inside look at what it’s like for Denise to go through these ups and downs while always in the public eye,” said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E!, in a statement. “At the core of this series is a resilient single mom who is trying to get her life back on track.”

Ugh.

GO AWAY, DENISE! And keep your fucking kids out of your mess of a life.

“I’m truly not one to give advice. I’m divorced and I stole my best friend’s husband.”

- Denise Richards, when asked to give her opinion on Paris Hilton’s jail sentence.

[source]

Denise, your kids hate this shit.

Seriously, Denise, your kids hate this shit.

Stop. It.

On Sunday, all the celebrities who weren’t at the Disney event for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation dragged their asses (and the diapered asses of their small children) all the way down to Anaheim for the opening of the Finding Nemo ride.

I’m primarily interested in these images because, once again, Denise Richards insisted on trotting her obviously anti-camera children in front of photogs again. This time she only brought Sam, leaving Lola at home in peace, I suppose. These children always look unhappy in photos. Why do you insist on doing this to them, Denise?

In stark contrast, Brooke Shields’ little daughters, Rowan and Grier, are absolutely adorable. Mariska Hargitay was there with her son August. Kobe Bryant brought his whole family. Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow were there for reasons that baffle me. (Actually, Courteney was probably there because David Arquette and his sister Patricia, who brought her daughter and goddaughter, were.) Leah Remini, Scientologist extraordinaire, brought her husband Angelo Pagan and her daughter, Sofia Bella (Pagan’s three children from his previous marriage clearly lost their invites in the mail). Melissa Joan Hart brought her cutie son Mason. And no event would be complete without the darling Sprouse Brothers, still pretending to be 15 years old.

Denise Richards puts on a brave face with her grumpy Sheen-spawn, Sam and Lola, at a Disney-sponsored party in Bel Air on Thursday.

There are seriously nearly 40 pictures of Denise and these children on WireImage right now. There is not a single picture in which these kids look anything short of miserable. I checked them all. Look at their eyes! They’re like, “Save me from this childhood!” I just find this incredibly funny and I needed to share it with you all.

I give her a lot of shit for, you know, aging over these last few years, but after popping out two kids, battling Hep C, and enduring over 25 divorces, the Tool Time Girl still looks damn good. This bitch is 39 — she’ll be 40 in a little over a month — and her body still looks better than mine did at 17. Not. Fair.

She’s in Cannes, at a yacht party for her new film, Blonde and Blonder. Denise Richards, who co-stars with her in the film and who just broke up with Heather Locklear’s seconds, doesn’t appear to have made the trip. Interestingly, earlier this month, the story was that Anderson would not be attending, choosing instead to spend time with her sons, but Richards would be there instead. It seems as though there’s been a change of plans. I wonder if Richards’ recent break-up had anything to do with it …

It’s a good day to be Heather Locklear. Denise Richards, who took up with her (ex-) best friend’s ex-husband before the ink was dry on the divorce papers, has officially split from rocker Richie Sambora. Richards’ rep confirms that “Denise and Richie broke up two months ago.” According to a friend of Richards (she has friends?), “they didn’t want to make it public because they lived through public divorces and it was very painful.”

Um, very painful for whom? Very painful to the spouses you dumped five minutes before you jumped into each other’s pants?

The couple reportedly still remain friends, with Denise even flying across the country to attend a funeral for Richie’s father, who deid of cancer on April 20. “She took the next flight - a red eye - to be with him,” says Denise’s friend (she has friends?? They must not have husbands).

[source]

Probably. She’s also a whore, a slut, a raging bitch, a homewrecker, a shitty actress and a little flabby around the waist. Unfortunately, the only thing this set of pictures proves is the last one. But they sure have started a firestorm on the Internet.

What I’d like to talk about is what the fuck happened to the knuckles on her left hand. Has she spent some time down on all fours on the carpet for Richie Rich? Has she been moonlighting as an Ultimate Fighting Champion? Or is Heather Locklear’s voo-doo doll finally working?