Wendie has a nose for bullshit that could rival the midwest’s finest manure manufacturers.

A few days ago, she reported that Debbie Rowe and the Jackson family had reached a custody agreement that allowed Rowe to retain her parental rights, but made Katherine Jackson– Michael’s mother– the children’s legal guardian. It was reported that the agreement was reached without a single penny changing hands.Well, technically they were right.  I’d imagine that the $4 Million the Jackson family agreed to continue paying Rowe will be handed over in large bills, or via bank draft or cashier’s check– not in pennies.

Yesterday, the Jackson family admitted that they have agreed to continue paying a $4 Million “informal spousal arrangement”  that Rowe had with Michael– a verbal contract that was absolved when he died.

Really, it’s the perfect arrangement. Rowe can continue to use her parental rights to blackmail as much money as possible out of the Jackson Family, and the family can pretend that they aren’t renting their grandchildren from a woman who resembles nothing so much as the putrid muck that collects on the surface of dirty dishwater that’s been left sitting for a week. (Killer wolf shirt though.)

Anyway, as I was saying, this under-the-table arrangement works out well for both parties amd makes everybody happy. Oh, except for the kids of course. They’re still fucked.

According to TMZ, Debbie Rowe has resolved the issues regarding custody of her children with Michael Jackson.  You’ll love this — not a penny passed hands.  *coughbullshitcough*

Rowe will retain her parental rights — good move for later down the road when her bank balance gets a little low — and Katherine Jackson will be the children’s legal guardian.  As part of the agreement, Rowe requested the participation of a psychologist who will help integrate Debbie into the lives of her kids.  She will be on a visitation schedule with them, though no details on how much visitation.

Debbie Rowe’s lawyers are in a tither over that New York Post article I talked about this morning regarding how Debbie Rowe was getting another $4M bucks to sign over her parental rights to Katherine Jackson.  According to Rowe’s attorney, Eric George, the claims are “completely false.”  They have asked NYP for a full retraction.

While we’re pondering that,  Rebecca, a supposed “close friend” of Debbie’s ran to Extra and shared private emails sent between the two.  Check these out:

July 2nd

“I’m not going after custody,” Debbie writes to Rebecca. “These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael’s. I was Michael’s best friend.”

July 5th

“My lawyer is telling me I have to take some responsibility about the welfare of the children,” Rowe writes. “Do I want the kids? Hell no. Does it look good for me to ask for them? Absolutely. I don’t want to look like the woman who gave away her kids and just forgot about them. Would Michael want Joe to have them? I think it would be the last thing that he would ever have wanted.”

In addition, Rebecca told Extra, “The motivation is money,.  I really have to be honest… If the children aren’t the ones she wants, what else will she gain from it?”

Debbie Rowe has decided not to pursue custody for the two biological children that she carried for Michael Jackson.  I say “decided not to pursue” which in the case of Debbie Rowe, will always mean “received a really large financial settlement.”

In an agreement drawn up between the Jackson family lawyer and Debbie’s lawyer, Rowe will receive a payment of approximately $4M in exchange for terminating her parental rights once and for all.  Thankfully, there is a clause that prohibits her from shaking down the next guardian-in-waiting if Katherine Jackson were to die.  I guess you could say this is an “All Sales Final” deal.

Let’s see, this makes the third time Debbie Rowe has sold these children.  When she gave birth to them, she received $8M and $900,000 a year for five years.  Then when the sexual abuse allegations surfaced, she brokered a deal for another $4M and a house worth almost a million bucks.  My basic math skills tell me that these kids have been sold for almost $22M at this point.  I find this so sad. 

Meanwhile, Joe Jackson wants a Jackson 3 (Michael’s three children) group to be formed, the other Jackson brothers that were to be a part of a new reality show are upping their demands from $200,000 for the pilot up to $10-20 million, and Michael’s body has been removed from its temporary resting place at Forest Lawn to undergo more testing.  These.  Poor.  Children.

I’ve heard that the heat makes some people grumpy.  Apparently, that was the case with Debbie Rowe as she exited an Indian restaurant yesterday and started throwing out threats and wagging her acrylics at overzealous paps.  With a temper like that, I hope the courts will require her to have some anger management classes before trying to raise preteens, because they do a hell of a lot worse than bump into you.

After the jump, see what New York Congressman Peter King had to say about the low-life pervert, better known as Michael Jackson.

While most of the world prepares for Michael Jackson’s television event memorial service, the photo agencies have not forgotten Debbie Rowe, who is going about business as usual at her Palmdale ranch. (Well, business as usual, except she’s being stalked by paparazzi now.)

Debbie spent the weekend feeding the animals (the sign above her in one of the pics says “Cowboy Wisdom: Never Kick a Fresh Turd on a Hot Day”) and taking visits from friends.

I suppose it’s not any big secret that Michael Jackson isn’t the biological father of his children. That’s because the children are white. It’s something that we all knew but didn’t discuss, and people would throw out comments like, “Well, you know, just because someone has one black parent doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to look black.” And, ya know, maybe that’s true, but it’s pretty much guaranteed that they’re not going look like little Swedish kids either. It was obvious these weren’t his biological kids.

Now Us Weekly claims they’ve found the real father — an LA-based dermatologist named Arnold Klein, who was Debbie Rowe’s boss at one point, and who is white.

“He is the dad,” says a Jackson insider. “He and Debbie signed an agreement saying they would never reveal the truth.”

I wonder what kind of impact — if any — something like this will have on the custody proceedings.

A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge issued a ruling this morning granting temporary guardianship of Michael Jackson’s three children to his mother, Katherine Jackson. Judge Mitchell Beckloff has set a hearing for July 6 at 8:30 a.m. for the case, where the children do not have to be present.

Prince Michael Jr., 12, Paris Michael Katherine, 11, and Prince Michael II, 7, are living with their grandmother and their grandfather, Joe Jackson, and have a “long established relationship” with her, the filing stated.

My gosh, I didn’t realize those kids have gotten to be so old! In my mind, they’re all still little babies, but Prince and Paris are in middle-school by now. The fact that I was unaware of their ages speaks volumes about what a good job the Jackson family has done of keeping them out of the spotlight. I wonder if they’ll eventually decide they want to be public figures. I don’t know why, but I have this hunch that in ten years we’re going to be seeing the Prince Michael Jackson album shoot to the top of the charts.

Anyway, Debbie Rowe (who’s the biological mother of the two older kids — the youngest was conceived by a surrogate), is still seeking custody of the children. I don’t know all the legal ins and outs here, but I do know that courts are almost always inclined to grant custody to the biological mother in cases like this. (I know that from attending my law school, Law & Order, for over a decade.) I can only hope they make the decision that’s in the best interest of these children.