Wow, some people are completely pissed off about this new DirecTV ad featuring David Spade and the late Chris Farley.  Farley’s role is spliced together from his movie Tommy Boy and David Spade appears to be having a conversation with him.

We’ve had everyone from Fred Astaire to Nat King Cole peddling soda — and don’t believe for a second that we won’t see Michael Jackson doing the same in the next few years — so I don’t understand all the controversy.  If the estate is being paid, why shouldn’t dead dudes sell stuff?  Tacky or okay?  (Certainly not funny.)

It’s not that David Spade was ever really a looker, but there was something quirky and cute about the guy for a real long time, hence the massive amounts of tail he was able to pull on any given night. In fact, I feel like I’ve seen pictures of homeboy recently in which he didn’t look this bad… But last night when leaving the popular LA restaurant Katsuya? Ol’ Finch was looking tore up from the floor up. I don’t know if he’s auditioning to play Mickey Rourke or Gene Simmons, but he’s to that too-tan, tired-faced, extra-bloaty look about him that is just not complimentary to a man dressed like a circa-2002 Ashton Kutcher. Jeez Louise! Do a juice cleanse and take a long nap, buddy. Your reputation with the ladies will no doubt be suffering if you don’t clean up soon.

How does this dude land these chicks?

He knocked up a Playboy Playmate last year, he’s dated Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear, and now he’s running around Vegas playing grab-ass with Nicollette Sheridan, who he’s apparently been porking since November.

The two had dinner together on Saturday at Sushisamba in the Palazzo in Las Vegas. “Although there wasn’t major PDA, they definitely were affectionate throughout their meal,” a source reports. Spade sipped Diet Pepsi with his meal while Nicole had a Belvedere mojito.

Okay, so is this his whole game? The short funny dude stays dead sober and totally on-the-ball while he gets these leggy blondes wasted? Is that how it works? Because, otherwise, I don’t get it. Not at all.

A Playboy Playmate that David Spade had sex with, like, twice popped out his child in Missouri last week, and he’d like everyone to know that, at some point, he will get around to seeing this child.

“David and Jillian [Grace] have been in close contact throughout her pregnancy and he plans to go see the baby during his first break from shooting Rules of Engagement,” said David’s rep.

I just feel like this is a statement that could have been better phrased. Like, the first part just kind of sounds like they’ve been on the phone arguing over paternity and potential child support every night for the past nine months, and the second part just makes David look like someone who is only tangentially interested in his the birth of his child.

I think David’s still waiting for the results of the paternity test before he spends any money on plane tickets …

And since you all know what David Spade looks like, I’ve decided to include here the photo of Jillian Grace, with whom he had sex. This photo is obvs pre-preggers. Oh, and in case anyone cares, Jillian is 22 and David is 45. So, ew, kinda.

So much happy news today!

So many celebrities doing good things that contribute positively to our planet!

Unfortunately, these things contribute significantly LESS to my wallet, since do-gooding isn’t quite the same traffic-driver as, say, vagina, but still. It’s nice to see.

David Spade has saved an Arizona animal shelter from being closed, by donating $10,000 to the establishment.

David Spade has donated $10,000 to save the Humane Society of the White Mountains in his mother’s town of Lakeside, Arizona.

“The shelter was falling apart, and they were going to shut it down, so he stepped in,” says the source. “It was far and above what they needed and ever received.”

David’s from Arizona — like me! — and the article says he also donated $15,000 to his alma mater, Saguaro High School, where the funds were probably used to begin construction on their new state-of-the-art meth lab. Sorry. Arizona inside joke.

“I got a lot of shit at the end about ‘Why weren’t you there for him?’ But being that close, I dealt with it all the time. And in that situation, before the guy’s dead, he’s just kind of an asshole. Truth is, you get a junkie who’s wasted all the time and moody and angry and trying to knock you around, you say, ‘OK, you go do that, and I’ll be over here.’”

David Spade, who’s quoted in The Last Days of Chris Farley, a book penned by Farley’s brother.

Excerpts from the book will run in the May issue of Playboy, which hits newsstands on Friday.

I love that Playboy scored the exclusive on this. Chris would have been proud.

The funny man was touched when he heard the story of Phoenix police officer Nick Erfle, who was fatally shot last month in the line of duty, after returning to the force following a bout with cancer. Erfle left behind a wife and two children. Spade, who had never met the officer, sent the family $25,000 to help them get back on their feet.

This is the sort of shit Britney needs to start doing!!!

Brandon Davis makes Paris Hilton cry at her birthday party. Somewhere, Lindsay Lohan has a newfound confidence in her Higher Power. [Celebslam]

Pink has one of those sexy jutting-out pelvic bones that are absolutely irresistible … on a man. [The Blemish]

Hey, guess who’s freakin’ adorable? The Jolie-Pitt family! [POTP]

Vivid agrees not to distribute the Kim Kardashian video until all this Britney/Anna hype dies down and the blogosphere can once again focus on a C-lister’s sexcapades. [Celebrity Smack]

100 places to get music online. [Bree]

Do you ever catch yourself watching MTV’s Juvies and think to yourself, “Man, I wish some blogger would do an interview with one of those crazies?” I don’t. But still. This is a pretty funny interview. [IBBB]

David Spade has a blog. I guess the rest of us should just stop now. Strange, I used to think I was funny. [The Showbiz Show]

This is so cruel. But so funny.

Heather Locklear and David Spade left Mr. Chow’s in the same car, so, as a responsible journalist, I must assume they are dating again. [SplashNews]

YouTube quickly pulled the video of the Kanye West tirade at the MTV Europe VMAs, but Google doesn’t own iFilm yet. Boo-yah. [iFilm]

Daniel Craig is getting rave reviews as the new 007, but it seems he has a bit of a potty mouth. This link also has the long version of the Casino Royale trailer. [The Bosh]

If you weren’t fortunate enough to attend Shanna Moakler’s Las Vegas divorce party in person, you can experience all the emotional health and maturity in these pictures. I hope you get a good, hearty laugh out of them, like I’m sure her children will. [ICYDK]

Don’t stock up on Vaseline just yet — it’s only a rumor thus far — but there is, allegedly, a Scarlett Johansson sex tape in existence, and someone is trying to sell it. [Eluid]

Paris and Nicole pose for their very first pictures as a reunited couple. Nicole’s dyed her hair dark brown — it actually looks nice — and, I could be dreaming, but, based on several pictures I’ve seen of her from this weekend, it looks like she may actually be putting on some weight. Way to go, Nicole! [Rappy's]

• David Spade and Heather Locklear are dunzo; her latest boy-toy is a Colorado realtor with a striking resemblance to Joe Simpson. But I adore her, so I’m setting down my bat and walking away from the soft ball.
• Sean “Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy” Combs has to ditch the “Diddy” in Britain after a music producer there sues him over the name.
• Dana Plato’s son files a wrongful death suit againt the Diff’rent Strokes star’s former fiance. Time to update that True Hollywood Story, E!
• Black Eyed Peas singer Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson reluctantly admits to being on meth and Kids Incorporated. I’m pretty sure I know which one is more damaging to her image.
  
• For those of you who were staying up nights wondering, Lindsay Lohan’s stolen-and-returned Birkin bag had nothing missing. Except, you know, probably the drugs.