Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha.

Not that there’s anything funny about nut-related anaphylactic shock.

But aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sometimes you feel like a nut!

Sometimes you’re in anaphylactic shock!

OMG I crack myself up.

I also like how when you’re talking about David Lee Roth almost dying from “a nut,” there’s the vague connotation that he entered cardiac arrest during orgasm. I considered playing on that angle, but it’s 2 am and I’m lazy.

Should I actually tell you guys the news story I’m referencing?

Okay.

Two Ontario police officers have been credited with saving the life of Van Halen singer David Lee Roth – after he suffered a severe allergic reaction.

The rocker was pulled over on a stretch of highway in Oakland, Ontario on June 8 for speeding, and when cops approached the vehicle, they realized the star was in anaphylactic shock.

Roth has an allergy to nuts and was suffering a severe reaction after coming into contact with a contaminated substance.

The officers called an ambulance and kept Roth calm until paramedics arrived on the scene.

Okay, okay, okay.

Now I’m going to get lectured about how peanut allergies are very serious things. And they most certainly are. But in the David Lee Roth context, please, you have to admit it’s kind of totally hilarious.

Update: Roth is denying that this was him, saying that it was actually an impostor and that he’s not allergic to nuts. Weird!!!

Left: Britney Spears on Halloween. I thought she went as her own vagina, but I was wrong, because:

Right: David Lee Roth in the mid-80s.

Amazing, fantastic call by Idolator.