David Beckham is known, at least in part, for having a huge package. We’ve seen it quite clearly in the Armani underwear ads and we’re all under the impression that we know what he’s working with, but that’s just not good enough for some folks I suppose.

Elena Di Cioccio of Italian TV show Le lene (That’s Italian for “The Hyenas”) caused a commotion yesterday when a poorly-planned bit got out of control. David was exiting a restaurant to the usual slew of paparazzi, and Elena was amongst them, sneaking about with a yellow glove on her hand. Earlier she had told her cameras “We have seen fascinating photographs of David Beckham in his underpants. He’s seemingly very well endowed and even his wife says that he is well equipped…we wanted to find out if he was as well endowed as the pictures suggest or if they were touched up.”

After making a lame grab at his crotch and failing, Beckham spotted Elena and gave her a mean look before being guided away from the crowd by his bodyguards. Elena kept up her bit by screaming “David you’ve conned us all!” as he walked away, but it was pretty obvious she didn’t get to actually touch anything.

Now, here’s my question: What would make someone so desperate that they’d take money in exchange for humiliating another person and themselves like this? I know they’re a lot more “cheeky” over in Europe than we are here, but there’s a massive difference between being sexy and coy and grabbing someone’s dick. This chick grabbing David Beckham’s penis is like is some reporter tried to grab Barbara Walters’ vagina. It just is. You absolutely cannot invade someone’s space that way, but especially in a sexually aggressive manner. If she asked to fact-check his junk and he said yes, well then I’d say that Elena is a pretty lucky lady and excellent at her job, but trying to help yourself to a feel is unacceptable. What is this? Middle school?

David Beckham, the, uh…face of Emporio Armani underwear, showing off his gargantuan rope.  I put a couple additional picture of Beckham in the gallery — for research purposes, obviously.

A little Friday fun for you guys — here’s some behind-the-scenes footage of David Beckham shooting his new ad for the Motorola Aura.

Watching this makes me want to do a lot of things. Buying a cell phone is not one of them.

David and Victoria Beckham seem intent on giving Brangelina a run for their money, as the two of them looked absolutely stunning at a party at Milan Fashion Week on Tuesday.

Does Posh ever have a fashion miss? Or allow David to have one?

She’s quite remarkable.

Here’s David and Victoria Beckham launching their new signature Beckham fragrance in NYC.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what’s going on with the bottom half of Victoria’s body. Are those boots? Do they go all the way up her legs? What’s holding them up in the back? They appear to be floating above the ground. How did she get them on? It’s like looking at an M.C. Escher sketch. It’s just blowing my mind.

I won’t even get into what David’s wearing. Suffice it to say that — much like anything David wears — it would look much better in a pile on the carpet. Of my bedroom. Actually that’s not true. With this particular outfit, I would probably have to move the pile into the closet and shut the door before I could have sex with him. Because every time I caught a glimpse of that thing from the corner of my eye we’d just have to start all over.

Posh was spotted wearing baggy jeans and flip-flops at Disneyland.

This apparently warrants an entire article in The Daily Mail.

I actually like this look on Posh. I think she’s adorable. And she’s walking around freakin’ Disneyland with her kids. She doesn’t have to wear a mini-skirt and six-inch heels, for chrissake.

David Beckham got a minor traffic ticket in Hollywood on Tuesday.

And it’s on the AP wire today.

“There was a traffic incident that took place,” said a rep for the police department. “It was a minor offense and David complied with the officer.”

Yeah. Today is going to be boring.