I totally called this one. Not that it was a difficult call or anything, but still. Jodie Sweetin’s relapsed, and a judge has issued a ruling that she is not allowed to be alone with her baby.

Full House alum Jodie Sweetin is not allowed to see her 8-month-old daughter without supervision, an Orange County, Calif., judge ruled during an emergency custody hearing Wednesday.

The ruling came after Sweetin’s estranged husband Cody Herpin accused her of being an unfit mother — and allegedly that she once drove intoxicated with their daughter Zoie in the car, TMZ.com reports.

A doctor who took the stand also claimed that Sweetin, 26 — a former meth addict and alcoholic who lives with her parents — had relapsed but has been in touch with her sponsor and is attending AA meetings. The doctor said she does not believe the baby is at risk at the moment.

Sweetin will now not be allowed to be with the child unless one of her parents is present, the judge said.

A judge ordered both Sweetin and Herpin to submit to drug tests before the next hearing.

So, yeah. Stop being so predictable, Hollywood.

In general, here’s a rule I’ve learned: When celebrities are all like, “Yeah, I used to have an addiction problem, but now I don’t. I can totally just have one or two drinks and be fine,” you can pretty much just start counting down the days until there’s a gigantic relapse. Tara Reid proved this nicely for us last week, and now it’s Jodie’s turn.

Personally, I’m kind of waiting anxiously for the enormous Nicole Richie relapse that I just know is on its way.

Cody Herpin — the husband Jodie Sweetin just walked out on — sat down with Radar magazine to do a little interview, right in front of their baby’s crib! HOW SUBTLE!

Cody says Jodie took the baby, all the money and the family dog! How awful! He actually seems sane and healthy not at all psychopathic in this video, which furthers my belief that whatever’s going on is all Jodie’s fault.

In a move that absolutely no one except the entirety of the planet saw coming, Jodie Sweetin ditched her (second) hubby (and baby-daddy!) of 16 months last week, for no clear reason other than the fact that she’s probably doing drugs again.

Jodie hasn’t released a statement yet, but her agent says she is “trying to stay positive for Zoie,” their 7-month-old daughter. “Her focus is the baby,” continues the agent. “Jodie’s got a huge support system in her family and friends and she thinks this is what’s best for her.” Jodie and Zoie are apparently staying with Jodie’s parents. Translation: Zoie is staying with Jodie’s parents while Jodie scores meth.

And Cody’s still all like, “Dude, I so thought my quickie marriage to a kinda-sorta-recovering meth-head child actress was rock solid.” His actual quote is that he is “still discombobulated” over the split. “Not knowing what’s going on is hard … It’s rough,” he says. “Marriage is not taken lightly to me. It’s supposed to be forever.”

My Lord, how are these people so consistently blind to the fact that their marriages are oh-so-doomed?

In the most surprising news I’ve heard in the past 45 seconds, “recovering” addict Jodie Sweetin and her husband of 16 months, Cody Herpin, have split. The couple had a baby in April. This is Jodie’s second marriage.

“I was dumbfounded,” says Herpin, adding that Sweetin left their home and took their 7-month-old girl. “Over this past month something has been different. I’m concerned about our daughter and I just want (Zoie) home.”

Sweetin’s agent, Stella Alex, says the actress is “absolutely clean” and that the couple have “come to this path in their life and she felt like this is the way she had to go. Jodie says it’s unfortunate but it’s just what has to happen right now. No more detail, only because she says she doesn’t want to be disrespectful to him.”

The pair were rumored to be working on a reality TV show in August, at which point I announced that their marriage would end, because that’s what reality TV shows do to marriages.

I am always right.

In all seriousness, though, whatever the hell is going on with Jodie, I certainly hope the baby’s okay and is well looked-after. It’s okay to fuck up your own life, Jodes, but leave the kid out of it.

Um … congrats? To recovering meth-head Jodie Sweetin, who gave birth to a little girl named Zoie on Saturday. The father is Cody Herpin, her husband of less than a year.

Specifically, they got married on July 14, 2007. So, um, you do the math.

Yeah.